I had a hospital appointment this morning which turned into me being there for three and a half hours because my heart rate and temperature are too high, I feel like crap a lot of the time, my chest infection is clearing up but I still feel rubbish, the baby is smaller than she should be (10th centile last time and has now dropped below that), and the doctor was talking to me about her potentially having to be born at 37 weeks (which is only 4 weeks away) if she drops down to the 3rd centile, which is riskier than waiting till 39 weeks because her lungs won't be developed properly. So I'm fed up of not being able to breathe properly even though my chest X ray now looks a lot better than the last one, and I'm worried the baby will have to come out early. I also talked to the doctor about having a c section rather than a vaginal birth and she was fine with it and listened to what i was concerned about, but did also say that babies are more likely to need help with their breathing when born via a c section and the risk of that goes up the earlier it's done which for me could happen if she continues to stay quite small. So now I feel like I'm being so selfish and making a bad choice for how I want to deliver the baby because it could be more dangerous for her but at the same time I've never considered doing it any other way and have a long list of things I'm terrified of about a natural birth, including being induced which I assume is how they'd get the baby out at 37 weeks if that needs to happen. I've to go for a scan next week to have some things checked and then again the week after to check her growth so I really hope she's grown a bit by then cause she's only like 2.5lbs at the moment which is very small.
