As hard and as ruthless as a rose petal

stratt can never find out about grocky because she'd be like i fucking knew it i knew the astronauts would find a way to screw each other

Basically, if you say "this historical thing is a human universal", ask yourself, did it also happen in the Americas? Because the Americas developed thousands of years of civilization completely independent from Eurasia. Many of those broad claims about earliest "human" history and civilization are based on the Middle East and the Mediterranean. Not even China or India are considered most of the time, let alone Africa or the Americas or Oceania, which had multiple different independent origins of agriculture and social organization.

rocky finding out about Rare leaking events because grace gets a nose bleed and then he's like i didn't know That was supposed to come out of There and grace says well it's not really Supposed to but sometimes it does. and rocky's like. where does it end. when does it ever stop. the fluids can just come out of anywhere???? any hole????? and grace explains well not any hole and also you can sort of tell how bad things are by the color sometimes??? which is horrifying because rocky can't SEE color. and then every time they're getting freaky with it and grace has an orgasm rocky has to stop and check the viscosity by vibrating it between his fingers and be like what color is it. be specific. is it red. is it green question. and grace is like. this is the worst pillow talk in the whole entire universe and i can actually say that as a qualified expert. and rocky says expert. be serious. two humans an one eridian does not make you an expert. so grace just has to be like. my semen is white.

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

timezones don't matter if your sleep schedule is fucked up enough

which is also my advice about peeing after sex btw. it's not like you have to do it in three minutes or less just let nature take its course.

It's a good rule if you have a vagina and use it with insertables especially if you're using lube. Just to clear out anything that might have gotten in the urethra at all.

right yes and what I'm saying is that while that's a good idea it's not necessary to sprint for the bathroom immediately upon finishing. like just drink your fluids and go as usual

Like as long as you don't let everything marinate there for 12+ hours you'll probably be fine.

if you go 12+ hours without urinating there are probably some other issues to address!

Love to show up on people's dash to tell them to piss more or something but you're genuinely supposed to pee within about half an hour of inserting anything, because it takes very little time for bacteria to take hold and start a UTI.

wait where's the source on the half hour I wanna learn

ok so that article just plucks half an hour out of thin air with no citations, while the doctor they actually quote says “Studies have not proven that urinating always reduces the risk of UTIs, but many women find it helpful.”

how was my weekend? ah, actually, i got put in a saw trap. yeah… luckily it was minor. chewed too loudly in a restaurant near john kramer, so i had to extract my own wisdom teeth. bloody stuff, you know? i mean i needed them out anyway, just would have preferred to do it with non-rusty tools. yeah i had to go get a tetanus shot. huge pain in the ass. luckily this was on saturday and i had all of sunday to recuperate so i could come into work today. i don’t think being saw trapped is covered under FMLA and i’m all out of sick time so i would have been shit out of luck. but that’s life. anyway how was your weekend? oh, you went to the planetarium? that’s pretty cool.

Quark can't say Fuck because Fuck is a valid ferengi name and he doesn't know what cousin Fuck did to the hu-mons that they say his name with such vitriol but Quark is proud of him for it

god i wish we could somehow erase all cultural preconceptions when engaging with a story so we can have aliens named shit like "fuck" bc why not. they could do that, there's plenty of human names in other languages that just happen to sound funny to english speakers. what just because this world was made with intention we can't have the same thing there? i want hyper-realism, and that means giving people funny names on purpose because in the made up world it just happened like that

WE. NEED. AN. EPISODE. WHERE. QUARK. FINDS. OUT. IN. HUMAN. HIS. NAME. MEANS. THE. ITTIEST. BITTIEST. LITTLE. THING. IN. THE. KNOWN. UNIVERSE!!!! TELL ME HE WOULDN'T GO ON A WHOLE ADVENTURE TO CHANGE HUMAN LANGUAGE BECAUSE HE'S SO OFFENDED

settlers are always so enthusiastic about ''foraging'' and then you'll start talking to them about indigenous horticulture & sustainable harvesting practices and they quickly reveal that they're more interested in the aesthetic of being a Crunchy Woodland Creature than like reducing their reliance on exploitative industrial agriculture or rebuilding their local foodshed

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

"omg i LOVE it when love between characters is so strong it overrides the boundaries of flesh and selfhood, merging them into some sort of (un)holy chimera" — person who's uncomfortable with the idea of permanently sharing a bedroom with someone else

if you are my mutual i need you to be on some bullshit i dont understand

I'm like a girl in the same way a veterinarian tells you your dog is a girl even though it is an animal with zero concepts of human gender identity and is only acting on its base inherent animal instincts .