Gender is an illusion

here are a few other "secret" dashboards:

Posts from your "crushes"

"What you missed" (will be empty if you already visit Tumblr every day)

"Trending"

nope! i hovered over the link and this popped up on the bottom of the browser. here's all the links in order:

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/blog_subscriptions

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/crushes

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/what_you_missed

https://www.tumblr.com/timeline/trending

Damian is stunned in place but feels frozen when he hears a voice, older and almost identical to his own but he can detect a familiarity in it, a voice he only hears in his dreams nowadays say.

"Ellie, no! That's not me Starlight! I'm so sorry dude-"

When Damian turned his head towards the voice he's meet with an near identical face, granted there were some minor differences, but very, very familiar pair of striking blue eyes staring at him. Eyes that were somehow full of life, which shouldn't be possible because the last time he saw those eyes they had been dim and milked over years ago. The speaker had become startled at the his sudden turn and the words that he had been saying had quickly died out when he too took in Damian's features.

"D...Damian?..." the name came out so soft and small that Damian almost didn't hear it but he did.

And before Damian could stop himself, he spoke a name he hadn't dared utter in years.

"Danyal."

His twin looked like he had just seen a ghost, and Damian was sure he looked the same. And given the last time they had last saw each other it was no wonder they both looked like death warmed over them for a moment.

After all... Damian had failed to protect his brother, Danyal al Ghul all those years ago on a botched mission.

His bother who... wasn't dead.

His brother who was looking like he wanted to run but was keeping himself rooted in his spot.

His brother whose eyes were glancing downwards and seemed so nervous.

His brother who knew the little girl, Ellie, still hugging his legs.

His brother who had... responded and corrected her mix up when she had called Damian 'Daddy.'

And oh, she's looking up at him and making grabby hands wanting to be picked up and she has Danyal's eyes and his nose and-

I can just imagine that the Mansons can't stand Danny for a number of reasons, not limited to who his parents are and the fact that he made Sam a teen mom. They still aren't sure how she hid an entire pregnancy and nursing baby from them - but judging by Ellie's age, that was during freshman year of high school when sam was constantly avoiding home and skipping school, so that explains a lot. (It doesn't. They think they've connected the dots and are gaslighting themselves into believing they're right because a teen pregnancy is more normal than clones. Clones weren't even on their list of possibilities.) (Even better if Sam/Danny are and have always been entirely platonic.)

Then they see that Damian and Danny clearly recognize each other like long lost siblings - and what do you mean Danny was adopted?! But he clearly takes after Jack!

Just the look on their faces when they realize the boy they've been insulting all these years is actually the son of one of the richest men in the world. They share a grandchild with Bruce freaking Wayne. They should probably pull their act together before Bruce decides they don't deserve to have a relationship with his son, grandaughter, and grandaughter's mother. (They're too busy sucking up to Bruce to realize he's an ever bigger 'himbo' than Jack.)

Fraternal but looking nearly identical twins Damian and Daniah Danyal(Ra's an ass but then he's not transphobic), grew up together only for Danyal to 'die' on a mission.

It was well known in the league but kept a secret. Damian had, after getting used to the family somewhat, told Bruce so he'd be able to properly mourn, his father deserved that much at least.

So running into his supposedly dead twin, with a toddler clinging to his leg instead of Danyal's, mistakenly taking him for her dad.

He has questions and concerns.

---

Everyone feels guilty. Not just the trios' classmates and teachers *cough* Mr. Lancer, Ms. Tetslaff *cough* but also the ghosts.

It's never explained that ghost kids can't come from their fathers, even if they have guy parts, so my leading theory, specifically for Box Lunch, is that neverborn kids can come from either parent, since they are essentially formed from the parents' ectoplasm and emotions combining.

Tim half-deranged: Please I just want a cup of coffee

Danny squinted, then pulled out a binder: I'm sorry, sir, but you are on the Don't Serve Coffee list. I can offer you some tea instead-

Tim: NO. THIS IS THE FIFTH PLACE. BRUCE CAN'T OWN YOU ALL!

Danny leaning in to whisper: Look, man, I can't give you coffee under the cameras. Meet me in the back alley in twenty minutes and I'll get you a coffee. Bring Cash.

Tim: how much? Five hundred, six hundred or hell even a thousand? I'll bring whatever you want.

Danny: Chill dude, it's a cup of coffee. Three dollars is fine.

Tim: It's not just any coffee! It's my favorite brand and Bruce bought them out just to make sure they wouldn't sell to me anymore!

Danny: okay okay, this coffee means a lot to you. I get it. Twenty minutes alright?

Jason three weeks later in Bat cave: Tim's on drugs! I've caught him trading cash for small containers in a shady alley six times. We need an intervention.

Dick: What?! I thought that was his boyfriend!

Bruce: I also thought that was Tim boyfriend but if it's a drug dealer we have to help him.

Tim hiding in the shadows: shit.

Tim texting Danny: If anyone asks your my secret boyfriend who been making me teas in allies

Danny: here's the-

Dick barreling into the alley in tears: you stay away from him! Timmy! You know you can come to us about anything right?!

Tim: Dick??

Jason, here for the drama: you know the rules, Timbers. Dealers go to the cops

Tim: Since when do you care about the law??

Can you imagine the looks on Dick & Jason's faces as Tim just absolutely bursts into tears.

I mean he's going down on both knees and straight up begging. Like "it's not true I swear I'll prove it I'll do anything please please PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME" levels of desperation

Tim does not have room for dignity right now this guy is his last link to his favorite coffee brand.

Of course, Danny just figures he's playing along. They've met a few times now, he knows enough to know that Tim's sibling are on the same wavelength as his dad about the coffee. So he just plays it up the distraught boyfriend angle like "I- I don't know I can trust you/how can I believe you/I don't know if I can do this anymore/etc" figuring Tim would just come back to the shop at a later time and they could work out a better meeting point/time.

Tim goes full unhinged stalker-mode... but on himself. Like. Stands up to grab Danny by the shoulders with a manic look in his eye and just. "I'll prove it. I'll give you a link to all of the trackers I have planted on my person, I'll give you access to my apartment cams, I'll wear a bodycam everywhere I go, I'll hire someone to build an AI to go through the footage and separate out any instances o unfaithfulness for you to peruse at your leisure - or, no, I'll give you the money to hire someone to do that so that you know I didn't order them to make it not work, I'll-"

That's about as far as he gets before Dick frantically slaps a hand over his mouth, absolutely horrified, and confesses that they thought Danny was trying to sell Tim drugs.

Is it embarrassing? Yes.

Will Danny and Tim both probably be insulted and pissed about the assumption? Yes.

But he does not want to know what else Tim was going to offer. He's half-sure he was about to out them all by offering to bug the batcave - assuming he hadn't outed them to this guy already.

Because, yikes, was that an obsessive attachment or what.

Leaving out the previous access to cams, Dick explains the whole brother + alley + unknown hooded figure = drug deal.

Jason throws him under the bus via "Actually, I figured you guys were friends or something. I was just joking about the drug deal thing. Apparently Dick thinks you have drug dealer vibes."

Eventually all of the tears peter out and Tim & Danny "make up."

Dick tries to invite them to Batburger to "make up for the unfortunate meeting and get to know you better!" but Danny is like "nah, I got *plans here*" and dips after saying he'll see Tim tomorrow.

Tim is very grateful it's only for a day, but his coffee has once more slipped away from his grasp. He's Big Mad at Dick and Jason about it, so he stomps off.

Dick and Jason? Very glad Tim isn't doing drugs.

But Very Concerned about just how far he was willing to go to get his boyfriend to not leave him.

Like.

Calling Alfred while following him home from a not-good-enough-for-him-not-to-notice distance and asking him to get the others there for an intervention about setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

And also to talk about the fact the Tim has a boyfriend and never told them???

Except Tim goes to his apartment instead of the manor. And doesn't let them in.

And bars the windows with Traps (TM).

He's big mad.

Dick tries to call & apologize but Tim is just. "I almost lost him because of you. You wanna talk to me again it'll be after I see him again and not before."

Which is really helping with the boyfriend assumption but is purely incidental from Tim's perspective as he's too lacking in caffeine to remember at the moment. this is just him being a coffee fiend.

Next time he visits the shop he's sure to give Danny a camera-free and well out-of-sight from almost all angles place to meet. He gets more coffee.

He goes back to the manor, mercifully full of coffee and practically cheery.

Dick, watching him arrive practically glowing with happiness: ...so how's Danny?

Tim, brightly: Great! He's the best!

It's only when the whole family emerges to drag him into the sitting room for questioning that he remembers the whole "boyfriend" thing.

He hasn't blown his cover yet, but oh boy. Time to Make Things Up.

Alright so in my opinion, Tim, in a sense, may be more paranoid and unhinged than Batman. If not then imma say it's my head Canon, ANYWAYS!

It wasn't too long until Tim would eventually fall for the coffee maker instead of just the coffee. He couldn't help it! Danny was so nice, smart, caring, funny, witty, understanding, and he gets Tim. From everything the shorter (I head Canon Danny to be shorter than Tim by half a head or a few inches at least) boy, his parents definitely sounded neglectful just like Tim's parents, how he had the drive to help people in need just like he has ever since he became Robin and now Red Robin, how he always had to know where the people they care about were and what their status would be right now.

And after the incident where he visited Danny's apartment—they changed places to get coffee since the last one was compromised and almost ended up as a disaster—as always to have his daily coffee dose immediately since he hasn't slept for 79 hours from going on crunch mode on multiple case files, the 3 tumblers of coffee that Danny gave him were already empty, and in his tired muddled mind, he forgot one teeny tiny thing.

He was still in his Red Robin get up.

"Danny. Coffee. Me" he mumbled as he used the barest of minimum words whenever he was very sleep deprived. Danny turned around with a raised brow before his eyes widened, looking at the vigilante up and down when he heard the familiar voice, very familiar. He always wondered why Tim and Red Robin's appearance and aura felt similar and he's now 95% sure why that was.

He smirked and as he gave Tim a warm cup of coffee. "Had a long night, Tim? Already finished the ones I gave you?" The only answer Tim gave him was a tired nod before the vigilante all but chugged the hot beverage with haste, Danny wondered every time if Tim ever felt hot pain whenever he did that.

They talked for a while, Danny mostly making more coffee and Tim drinking them immediately after Danny placed it down in front of him. It wasn't long before Danny sensed another presence near, more specifically, outside the window. Mind you, his apartment was on the 4th floor so he more or less guessed they might be the one of the bats and birds.

They already fooled Tim's whole family—Oh ancients Tim's dad is batman!—that they were dating, might as well commit to the bit (even though deep down, Danny wanted it to be true).

"You should go home now, Tim. It's 1 am and I need to sleep since my shift is at 8 am in the morning. You also need to sleep, can't have you deteriorating your health, Altair." Danny spoke softly, projecting love and care a little in his tone to make it more convincing to their apparently watching audience.

Tim "sleep deprived" Drake-Wayne, in his Red Robin gear, energized by coffee but mind still clouded to think clearly, just hummed in response. He stood up as he was about to leave but not before kissing Danny on the crown of his head. "Mhm. Bye. Robu." He said before exiting the apartment, leaving a shocked and frozen Danny.

.... Does your crush slash pretend boyfriend calling you a shortened version of their favorite coffee beans as a nickname considered them liking you back? The man loved coffee more than his health even.

Meanwhile...

Tim had just gotten back to the Batcave, mindlessly taking off his clothes(vigilante outfit) before sitting in front of the bat computer to start solving another case file, not noticing another person inside the cave, 2 people actually. "Tim?" He heard the voice of Dick behind him as he hummed questioningly, not turning from the big computer screen.

"I saw you and Danny talking," he groaned frustratingly at that, a bit ticked a member of his family followed him again after he specifically said to stop it, but 6 days of privacy was the maximum he could get after the 'mistaken cheating incident' apparently. He didn't say anything as he let Dick continue.

", and I really need you to be honest, baby bird... Does– Does he know?" Dick said, while still wearing his Nightwing suit. Tim didn't know what he meant but he was too tired and wanted to start solving cases again so he just went with it, maybe it was about if Danny knew he was Tim Drake-Wayne? "Of course, he's known a day after I met him."

He could hear Dick almost choke on his spit from behind him. "Tim! That's so irresponsible!! You can't trust him with that immediately! You can't tell him that after just a day or even a few months before we consider him trustworthy first!" Dick exclaimed which irked Tim, swiveling the chair towards Dick, Bruce right beside the eldest with a tight frown. What was so wrong in telling Danny his civilian identity? All of them knew Danny wasn't interested in the circle of the rich but Danny still befriended him without knowing he was part of it, and wasn't even phased by it other than a bit surprised when he told Danny he was the son of Bruce Wayne and the CEO of WE.

"Listen, Dick. I trust Danny and he trusts me, and if you think he isn't trustworthy, you have no right to say that without even fully knowing him yet! He told me he didn't care about it when I told him and he said it wouldn't change anything bad between us!" Dick just shook his head with an exasperated sigh.

"This is getting a bit much, baby bird. Maybe you and Danny should take some time off, separated for a while-"

Dick got cut off mid sentence when Tim let an involuntary growl slip between his lips. Separating with Danny for a while would mean he won't see him, which means he can't get coffee, which means he'll be tired again and would end up falling asleep instead of working. It would also mean preventing him from meeting and talking to the cute boy he made a connection with. At this point, he wasn't even sure if it's even in a platonic or romantic way anymore.

"Danny is mine. Mine and only MINE! I won't share him with anyone else! And if you think you can keep him away from me then I'm sorry to disappoint but that won't be happening. If anyone ever lays a finger on even a single hair on him, I'll make sure they won't even be able to use their hands or their arms anymore." Tim said it all in a dark and cold voice through gritted teeth.

He couldn't imagine anyone ever taking Danny and the delicious coffee he makes away from Tim before he would get to them first. He's already killed a lot of people in the LOA, what's one or a few more to add to the list?

Standing up and hastily scooping up every file and paper he had on the desk before matching to the exit of the Batcave to continue his work in his room. On second thought, he would just go back to his Nest and do it there.

This is His coffee addict pretend boyfriend. One of the only friends he managed to make in Gotham. And he's a vigilante too and yeah Danny may be mostly retired, but he still went through a lot of shit and he wants someone who he can talk to who understands.

So when the Bat and Dick go to him to talk about boundaries and maybe separating from Tim, at least a little bit? They're worried about his and Tim's health.

Danny goes just as feral as Tim did in the cave. Growling and snarling and threats. You can't take Tim away from him, he won't let you fuck off while you still have legs.

And Tim, breathless, asks if Danny would really let him tag him with a tracker. With Danny returning, in an unintentionally flirty tone, that he wouldn’t mind if Tim wanted to use a tracker that was…subdermal.

And they really are just talking about trackers. It’s not Their fault it all sounds like innuendo.

"Where's my boyfriend."

With Dick shrilly asking, "How did you notice he was missing already?"

"He was late for our date and didn't call to tell me."

During one of their meetups

Tim, sleep deprived and desperate for coffee, “Robu…. I need you.” He slumped onto Danny’s couch

Now normally, Danny wouldn’t prefer to be referred to as a coffee brand all the time but… this was Tim. And it was Tim’s favorite coffee… so in a way… it was like he was Tim’s favorite coffee? It was hard to explain but Danny knew that he liked it a lot. More than he probably should have.

He placed the cup of coffee into his fake boyfriend’s hands. His very big hands. Course from working so hard being all heroic in the field of duty. Calloused and bruised, no doubt broken and reset dozens of times. The hands of a vigilante who was fully and utterly alive.

Danny was never jealous of Tim for that. Infact… he was very happy for Tim that he was so alive. Heartbeats are a good thing of course. And his was very nice. Steady and always going 100 miles a minute from the amount of caffeine he consumed. He supposed he should stop providing said caffeine but he spent his whole life being selfless. He was going to let himself be selfish this one time. He didn’t want to stop seeing his fake boyfriend.

“How long has it been this time?” Danny asked, trying not to sound too suspicious, “Since you’ve slept?”

He watched as the adorable mess of a man slumped over his couch sighed, “Um- 6- no- 8? Um- 74 hours or so?”

Well it wasn’t as bad as sometimes at least. He knew that it was bad for him to be awake so long. Sometimes on their “fake dates” Danny suggested movie nights just so he would take a nap. He wanted Tim’s heart to keep beating so he could keep listening to the sound.

Danny nodded, “Busy man you are.” He made sure his body blocked the coffee table from Tim’s view. He hadn’t properly put his mail out of sight before his vigilante had come to see him and he knew that Tim was nothing if not a detective.

Tim noticed the awkwardness coming from him immediatly, “Hey why are you hiding your mail from me?”

Dammit Tim why do you have to be so smart and perfect all the fucking time-

Danny laughed nervously, “I’m not- doing that…”

Tim sat up and gently adjusted Danny out of the way to look at the papers, grabbing him by the waist to do so.

Danny swooned only a little when he felt those big hands on his hips. Momentarily, he very much forgot why he was hiding his mail from Tim. But not long enough for the distraction to stop him from trying to grab the papers before Tim could reach them.

He failed.

Tim looked at the eviction notice in his hand, “Danny you never told me- I could have given you more money?!” He looked bewildered and confused. And more than that. Danny could tell there was a bit of fear in his eyes. He understood. He felt it too.

“Money isn’t the problem Tim, you give me more than enough,” Danny said fidgeting with the tracker fashionably dangling from his ear, “Everyone in the building got one. Ms. Abernathy sold it under the table to some shady company.”

Tim looked outright pissed, “What company is it?”

“I don’t remember but I remember hearing the name of it and thinking it sounded fake as hell. Probably why we are all getting kicked out instead of our leases transferring to the new owner. Ms. Abernathy doesn’t want her tenants in a bad situation,” Danny explained. He may not have been a vigilante anymore but hey, he still knew shady shit when he saw it.

Then a ding from Tim’s Nightwing tracker. And then immediately after, he feels another presence outside the window. The other birds were spying again.

“Move in with me,” Tim blurted out.

Danny… well Danny…. Danny fucking short circuited.

“Wha-?” was all he could get out. Normally he was better at improvising but ancients be damned, the cutest man ever just asked him to move in with him.

“Look I know I said we should wait since I didn’t want you in harms way if any rogues found my apartment but…” Tim wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist AGAIN, “I trust you to be able to defend yourself (after Danny broke into the Batcave as Phantom, Danny told him everything because why wouldn’t he) and honestly… I’de love having you around more often Robu.”

Danny’s breath caught as he felt those callouses on his hips again. He watched Tim stand to look him eye to eye and felt his entire core purr as one of those calloused hands moved to his cheek. Tim was really playing it up.

Danny could play it up too, “Aw is the tracker not enough anymore Timothy?” He wrapped his arms around Tim’s neck, bringing his face closer, “Of course I’ll move in with you. But don’t think I’ll be taking it off.” (Danny was referring to the tracker)

Tim smiled, “Don’t you dare.”

Then they kissed. Like on the lips. Cuz they were acting. Yeah, that. It didn’t stop Danny from adoring how Tim tasted of coffee though.

The next minute they were packing a few bags of Danny’s things and heading off to the new apartment.

While his core buzzed excitedly about the future of much more close proximity, Danny’s mind couldn’t help but wander off a little. They had gone this far. And Tim had a nickname for him. Maybe he should come up with one for Tim? He called him Tim or Timothy mostly, sometimes throwing other names in there to see if they stuck but nothing ever did. He called him Birdie once and the man gave him the biggest glare he had ever seen. It was attractive but not the response he was hoping for.

Danny knew a lot about death. Obviously. He also knew the irony of Tim’s vigilante persona Red Robin. The most alive man he had ever met used the name of a bird of death. Most people only know about the associations from cardinals, many stating that the dead send the bird to their loved ones as reminders of them.

What not as many people knew was that this was also extended to red robins. Red robins also had a double meaning when it came to the dead as they represented rebirth and starting anew. The same meaning as an upright death card in the tarot deck.

If anything… of the two of them Danny was the red robin. Tim was more of a…. swan. Yeah a swan. Loyalty, fidelity, and grace. Swans also mate for life but Danny wasn’t going to think about that. He knew Tim probably didn’t do that kind of thing like ghosts did. But it was a nice thought that he wasn’t going think about at all.

He set down the box with his clothes in it. He didn’t have very many. Most of the clothes he had were from before he moved here and most of that was destroyed in Amity Park when his parents found out what he was. It was… a lot of fire.

The rest of the clothes he had… well he kinda slowly stole them from Tim whenever he finally decided to shower and crash out whenever he stayed the night.

It wasn’t weird. He trusted Danny to wake him up before he had to leave for work. It wasn’t weird at all. Infact… Danny’s core quite liked it whenever he would stay.

“Well that’s all of my stuff,” he said.

Tim nodded, looking at all 4 boxes and 1 backpack, “Well it’s a good thing you pack so light. Too bad that couch wasn’t yours. It was comfy as fuck.”

Danny chuckled, “The bed wasn’t mine either.”

At that Tim laughed as well, “I know Robu. It was far too comfortable for you to afford.”

Danny scoffed, though the thoughts of his hometown that were brought up by how little stuff he had didn’t leave completely, “Wow thanks.”

Tim’s posture straitened. Dammit. Tim always fucking knew.

“What are you thinking about,” he asked, getting close. He always did that. Got close. He knew Danny sought comfort in physical contact. He could hear a difference in Tim’s heartbeat from the genuine concern.

Danny looked up at him, “Amity… my parents…”

Tim nodded, “Do you want to talk about it or a distraction?”

Ancients, this man was so fucking perfect.

“Distraction please,” Danny sighed, letting his head fall against Tim’s chest. He wanted to listen to his heartbeat. It was nice. And Tim held him for a while just like that. Talking about how he was going to buy a brand new bed for Danny and that after that, he was going to make 3 new tracker earrings all in different colors so that he could always have one on him no matter the outfit (As if Danny didn’t wear the silver one he already had everywhere).

One day… one day maybe it could be real. But until then… having Tim like this was going to have to be enough. It was better than having never met him at all. He couldn’t let go of his swan.

Extra:

*a few days into them living together*

Danny on the phone: So yeah I’m living with Tim now.

Jazz on the other line: So he’s your boyfriend? You could have just said that Danny.

Danny blushing furiously: N-no!

Jazz: Danny… from what you’ve told me, you live together, you eat together, you do laundry together, he knows your past, you know his…. you sleep in the same bed!

Danny: I- well- the new one hasn’t come in yet and before that it was only sometimes!

Jazz: Uhuh. And denial is a river in Egypt.

Danny: Jazz….

Jazz: Daniel the man has a tracker in your ear! So, what did you decide to call him?

Danny: *blushing profusely* I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Jazz: You can’t hide from me. I know your brain Daniel Fenton! He has a nickname for you so obviously you came up with one for him.

Danny: Fine… he’s… my Swan.

Jazz: ….. (processing) …. (Google searching the meaning)…. (Reading) …. Danny you are so insufferably corny. I hope you know that.

Danny smiling: He reminds me all the time.

Also, swans have many depictions and symbolism with death. A black swan is an omen of death. A swan song represents the final grand act before death. Swans also represent souls, Pythagoras believing that they were actually the souls of dead poets. They also represent rebirth.

Tim was used to working while Danny slept. So close to one another. Even if Tim didn't sleep much. It was nice. To spend time together in quiet stillness. Where Danny trusted him so completely that every defense was laid bare. His heart, his soul, his Core naked and breakable to Tim.

And Tim held that trust in high regards.

But this was something different. To comfort. To console. To do more than say empty words.

This required he stayed. Silent and vigil. Fingers rubbing gently along the other's spine. Nails lightly scratching the fabric of a worn out T shirt as Danny turned his head to burrow his face into the open chest next to him. Close as he could get to Tim's heart. Ears turned towards the steady rhythm. Tension slowly leaving as the muscle continued to beat.

Tim didn't ask. Because that wasn't what Danny needed. Instead, he put his laptop on a side table and surrounded Danny with strong arms, resting his head atop another.

Together, they fell asleep. No nightmares or stress.

In the morning, Tim woke up to Danny making breakfast in nothing but that faded T and a pair of boxers. The table had crepes with whip cream and sliced fruit. When Tim sat down, Danny walked over with two cups.

"Will you be my swan?" Danny asks, as he hands the other man his coffee.

Their fingers grazing each other. Tim looking at him in confusion, not pulling the cup closer or out of Danny's hands. Looking up at rich, inhumanly blue, eyes.

Then, it clicked.

Tim's eyes blew out.

"Most propose with a ring."

"You could buy so many diamonds, you'd destroy the industry. I know you like coffee more."

"And I like you most."

"Is that a yes?"

"I'm definitely saying yes."

"Alright, Cygnus."

"To replace Altair?"

"To add to my list of pet names for you."

"Hmm." Tim hummed, practically purred, into his first sip of coffee. "I think I'd look good in a dress."

"It'll look better on the floor when we're on our honeymoon. Or, you could get an extra poofy one and I can be concealed under the skirt."

"Do you care what you'll be in?"

Danny lifts a brow while smirking.

"Note to self, Danny will take any opportunity to make a dirty joke in the morning."

"Only for you, my bird."

"Better be. Maybe that should be my new vigilante name?"

"You be a Black Swan and I'll be a White Swan?"

"You're gonna join me at night?"

Danny isn't paid enough to figure out why the supposed himbo isn't acting like it.

"You know what? Yeah. Deal." He fishes his phone out, accepting the money transfer and calls his boss for the day.

"Heyyy big guy– yeah‐ I know... anyway! I'm not killing Bruce Wayne, you should find someone different to do it— bye!" And he hangs up, cutting the shouting with a grin.

"If you ever, and I mean, ever need someone out of the way, call me."

He happily hands his contact information to the billionaire and swoops out of the window.

He is rich! So mega rich!

("Did you just buy the mercenary?"

"He's a kid! I panicked!"

Like, Danny refuses one of his job saying he won't be in Gotham for *inserts specific timeframe* because he needs to prepare for a big event, details? That's classified, Brucie :)

Then Danny disappears; even Oracle's all-knowing-cctv-eyes can't find him. When he comes back, he's injured but only a little tender.

Bruce is fretting but Danny is like "it's fine, Brucie. You should see the other guys."

Bruce smiles tensely, "oh, you got them good?"

"Yup, knocking the wind out of the other side and stealing the witnesses' breath away!"

The giggles that follows chills Bruce to the bones.

The boy's height barely reaches his shoulder but suddenly, Bruce feels like a prey under that gaze.

Blue should be a color he's comfortable with. His children has blue eyes; he himself has blue eyes.

Bruce...

"—need to go. I-I've other businesses I need to attend to—"

Can't breathe.

"Eh? Aren't you here because you have another job for me?"

A step shouldn't be that threatening.

"No, an urgent situation, I need to—"

Recenter yourself.

"Take this as an apology for interrupting your day," A shakily written check. "I'll contact you later, Mr. Nightingale."

"..."

"...then, I'll—"

"Oh, yeah! See you later, Bruci- Mr. Wayne." A confused frown mars the soft smile on Danny's innocent face. The boy doesn't even know why—

How do you raise someone to be like this? The father in Bruce despairs. With guileless eyes and cold-blooded nature?

Can Bruce really save him?

Or is it too late?

...

Danny is worried about Brucie. He has such a soft heart that he can't bear to look at Danny's bruised face.

How can someone like this survive in Gotham?

Well, that's why Danny decided to accept his jobs in the first place.

It's better than letting someone dangerous take advantage of Brucie.

He's a good person if a little naïve, a good dad, his family would be devastated if something happened to him.

Danny would too.

It's such a shame he had to go back so soon. A family emergency, maybe?

Danny will ask later...

Who's he kidding? It's not his place. All that they have is a business transaction.

(Danny swallows through a lump in his throat. The jealousy and the loneliness taste cold.)

Know yourself, know your opponent, don't let your wall down, don't let anyone in.

(Danny, go, now!)

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Danny makes a reminder to only coming back to Gotham after all the injuries from the ghosts disappear.

Danny: I mean, I can if you-

Bruce: No no! Its fine! Im just... curious.

oooo, yes he works as a mercenary, but he doesn't kill anyone….

He wants to steal something?…Danny is available.

Do you need bodyguards?… Danny has a price package for the type of service…

Do you need to Annoy someone dangerous?….. tell Danny how annoying you want him and he will do the job…

Deadshot and company meet Danny, he is the one who has been messing with his work lately and making their lives miserable…

He probably took it just so no one else would. Then planned to kidnap Brucie, wait for one of the Bats to rescue him (Brucie always gets rescued by the Bats), use the opportunity to rat out his employer, and then slip away at earliest convenience. Rich himbo gets to live and Danny gets to control his inevitable introduction to the Bats.

Danny has his own scary dog privilege and not even understand it. Why Bruce keeps hiring him to protect his family seems reasonable enough to him. I mean look at them, what was it last year that they had six different attacks on galas they held. Not to mention the dozen other times they were near super villain attacks living in Gotham. About time they hired some kind of bodyguard. Sure they seem a little odd about it but what ultra rich people are not odd.

It is almost time for the family reunion which means Danny will be out of contact for about a week. This year one of the Uncles is holding it at his remote cabin in Alaska so they can revive the firework contest. Not wanting to leave the Wayne family without protection as there is a gala for some animal charity they fund is happening he decides to leave a stand in.

Danny: So I need to go to this family get together next week and since we finally found a place to play with explosives again I won't be able to be contacted. ~ Bruce internal bluescreen of oh gods it is a family business~ Bruce: That is fine, family is important. Tim: Explosives? Danny: Oh yeah it is going to be great. Last time we could do this before the ban we burned a house to the ground in under an hour. ~Danny reminiscing of the time his Dad accidentally burned down a house when he was five at the reunion. It was the first year they tried using ecto in the fireworks~ Danny: Anyway since I won't be around to help out and it is for an animal charity I though about leaving Cujo to watch everyone! Cujo: Bark! ~A small green puppy appears out of nowhere behind Danny~ Daiman: Why is the dog green? That can't be good for them. Danny: Oh Cujo is a special dog I got from a lab after they went in a different direction. Being green is normal for him, so is passing through walls, and he can become super big also. He was going to be a guard dog before all that so now he gets to be one for you. Daiman: . . . Tim: . . . Bruce: That sounds interesting. Will he get along with the other animals? Danny: Oh yeah he is a real sweetheart and super gentle. He also loves fetch. Be a good boy Cujo when I am gone and keep the Wayne's safe for me. See you in two weeks!

Danny the chronic under explainer and leaving bits of family lore spoken then not explaining does not know the bombshell he just dropped. He thinks it is a glowing green dog with ghost powers and the lab must have been the place he used to guard in life. It all makes perfect sense I don't need to go into detail. As despite his public persona Bruce is way smarter than people know.

How and why did this come to be, you ask?

Well, his parents decided realized that perhaps he needed a different type of school if they wanted his grades to raise, and what better school than the one in Gotham which students all come out with high grades?

So Danny had his bags packed, and was sent on his way with his uncle Vlad who, contrary to Danny's expectations, wasn't actually pleased at all with this arrangement. It took Maddie having to convince Vlad for him to even agree to helping Danny settle in and watch over him when he's studying in Gotham.

Which is unusual because he should've been the first one to suggest it.

So, Danny ripped away from his life and friends has decided to do one thing when he gets to that school.

Become known as the sassy rich kid who throws money around like it's water.

And, well, you know.

Vlad's wealth gives him the means to do exactly that but with a condition, he can do whatever he wants and Vlad would back him up for it but whatever Danny does.

He must not interact with Damian Wayne.

Danny: I'm gonna get a good grade in avoiding Damian Wayne, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve

He bites.

Will eat basicly anything.

Pack bonded with Jon on sight and will take Damian's word that his enemies are not to be trusted.

Speaking of Unexplainable Fires!

Jon wants to know if you can do that... uuh, "Fenton proofing" thing you did to his phone? To a tractor. He keeps accidentally "Fenton-ing" his grandparents tractor.

(Sure thing, cousin!)

(Cause? You KNOW. Danny heard "your blue eyed, black haired, behemoth of a Dad, who is so strong he accidentally breaks things like furniture and walls, who is also a softy and good dude but REALLY obsessed with Reporting to the point where he might have to Randomly Dip on us to go CHASE IT... is adopted you say?"

And went -> Ooooooh, yeah. Somebody fucked up. That's definitely a Fenton. Wonder which cousin/uncle it was? Oof. Minding MY business. Little late for a custody battle, sooo... *mentally adopts Jon n his Dad into the family*)

Which? Task failed successfully? Fenton-proofing DOES make things Super-Strength resistant. By like... an ALARMING amount. If they WANT to break it, they still easily can. But no more accidents!

The first to realize this was—oddly enough—Jordan. Perhaps because he was the one who paid the most attention to the weirdly soft(?) and trusting way Batman treated his Robins, it stood out as an anomaly against the usual grumpy, asshole-ry way he treated just about everyone else (and Jordan in particular).

This, perhaps, made Hal more prone to paying attention whenever Batman and his little bat-clan interacted; eventually, he just sort of… assumed Batman was their father, and assumed everyone else had assumed the same thing as well.

Such assumptions were confirmed when Nightwing, during an extremely critical mission that had nearly gotten all of them killed, shouted “Dad!” at Batman in a moment of panic.

No one had really been concerned with that at the time (they had all been a little too busy not dying), but afterwards everyone had acted strange around the apparently new finding, as if they hadn’t already known that

He was confused on why everyone was being so weird about it, wasn’t it, like, obvious? That confusion lasted right up until Superman, sounding deeply concerned, asked Batman his age (he, naturally, only got a glare in return).

Then it downed on him: it had never really occurred to him prior to that moment to make the mental math… Batman looked, at most, mid to late thirties, while Nightwing was clearly in his mid twenties.

Oh.

Oh.

Nightwing is in absolute hysterics over this calling all his siblings. Even if he was his biological father he was in no way a “teen” parent.

Doing a final project in my stats class, we have to pick a subject and collect data on it. We need at least 100 data points, and I figured this blog is big enough that a poll on here could get to that pretty easily!

Doing my project on if it’s more likely to be born in certain months :]

I just created a Picker Wheel. Let's spin the wheel and see what you get here: https://pickerwheel.com/?id=Ykycw

In the league’s point of view, Billy has to be a terrible dad… and if he’s not their dad… why is a grown ass man hanging around with these kids? So for peace of mind, they assume Jr. and Mary are his kids. I mean, they kinda look like him. Kinda. Like, I can already see a good portion of them not really liking that he’s letting Freddy and Mary fight bloodthirsty monsters and villains. But, even the heroes that don’t mind that have to take a minute to process Marvel congratulating Mary for going off and doing something extremely reckless:

*They all just watched as Mary flew into an alien spaceship to take it down from the inside out. They knew nothing about the ship, just that it was hostile.*

Mary: *Flies back down from the ship, covered in soot. Lands by Marvel.*

Superman: *Flies over to them* “That was extremely reck—”

Billy: *cuts off* “Mary, that was amazing!”

Superman: “Cap, that wasn’t amazing. It was extremely reckless! She could’ve gotten himself killed!” *gestures to Freddy wildly.*

Billy: “But she didn’t!” *gives thumbs up* “Come on, let’s get victory ice cream.”

*The two fly off*

or

*All of them are talking about their kids, eating together at a little lunch table in the Watchtower’s cafeteria like middle schoolers*

Superman: “I wouldn’t let Jon fight any of my villains alone. Most of them, anyways.”

Billy: “Why? Is he not strong enough?”

Superman: “Well, I’m sure he is, but I don’t want him to get hurt, or traumatized. Being a hero can be harsh at times. He’s just a kid.”

Billy: “So? Just cause he’s a kid doesn’t mean that he can’t fight. Just let him.”

Superman: “What? I can’t just let him. How would you feel if Junior or Mary had to fight Black Adam on their own?”

Billy: *shrugs* “Depends. Are they gonna fight him individually or together?”

Batman: *Eating a bat shaped sandwich, made by Alfred* “Individually.”

Billy: “Oh, yeah. Sure. I could trust them to handle Adam alone. I don’t think they could incapacitate him though. A couple times, when I’ve been busy, they’ve held him off for me until I get there.”

Flash: “You just let two little kids (Freddy and Mary look like pre-teens) go out and fight Black Adam? The same Black Adam that destroyed like a quarter of Metropolis in a day?”

Billy: “When you put it like that, it sounds crazy.” *Eats spaghettios*

Green Lantern: “Dude, it is crazy.”

Billy: “Wha? No it’s not. Wondy, when’d you start training for being a whole Amazonian warrior princess?”

Wonder Woman: “When I started adolescence.” *Eats ice cream*

Billy: “Seeeee? It’s fine.”

Martian Manhunter: “How old exactly are Mary and Junior?” *Also eats ice cream*

Billy: “Mary’s eleven and Junior’s twelve, they’re close enough.”

*All except Marvel exchange slightly concerned glances*

or

*Marvel and Junior are bickering next to one of the windows of the Watchtower.*

Black Canary: *Minding her own business and walks past them.*

Billy: “How about I slam your head through this window so we can really see if you can breathe in space, huh?”

Going off of letting them fight

Superman: "So you just let them fight bloodthirsty mosters?"

Billy: "You think the monsters are the bloodthirsty ones?" 🤨

You can also do a funny and have the interactions be from Mary and Freddie

*When YJ gets to meet other young heroes not in their group* *assume they're already well into some sort of conversation&

Robin!Tim: "So how do you get any mission you want?"

Freddie: "Want? Stuff just needs doing so I have to go and do them."

Conner: "So like chores?"

Freddie: "Kind of? Yeah, comes with the powers, but once you're used to things it does pretty much boil down to stuff needing to be done as it comes."

Robin!Tim: "And what if the stuff that needs doing is deemed too dangerous by Captain Marvel, and he won't let you do it?"

Freddie: "Then I'm not doing it without him. As if I need him giving me shit because "He told me so!" He can be such an ass about it for so long!"

Robin!Tim, who understood "giving shit" as an anger thing rather than taking-a-piss thing: That's... interesting.

Or to add to the sibling interactions

Mary: *subtly - because she's a lady- flipping Billy off while maintaining a perfect eye contact when passing by him on the watchtower with Wonder Woman*

Billy: *Not subtly flicking Mary off back, because he knows she's there just because he said he wouldn't take her there after she asked, forgetting about everyone around them*

Freddy: *Jumps* “Huh? Uh… yes?” *Backs away, looks sort of scared (he’s not, bros in awe to meet the Black Canary)

Canary: “Why’re you stealing donuts- actually never mind. I wanted to talk to you.”

Freddy: *thinking of the million things he’s done that could warrant this* “Sure?”

Canary: “It’s about Cap.”

Freddy: “Oh. What about him?”

Canary: “Well, the other day, I heard you and your father talking near one of the windows. He threatened to slam your head through the glass. Does your dad ever… hit you?”

Theyre just yelling cause its fun to pick pointless arguments with your friends and family.

And Canary realizes that Freddy and Mary don't flinch when cap raises his hands or flails around. They dont have fear in their eyes when Cap raises his voice at them. Theyre not apprehensive to go home or move away from him when they're stressed.

And when they seem scared of something or another they do step closer to Cap and look to him for guidance and help

So Cap probably doesn't abuse them, maybe its more just not proper parenting.

She does forget to tell the league this... oh well