Come home to my heart

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

It's not a "Nissan Snail."

Nissan gave it a much better name.

like in RE7 for example, in order to get outside you gotta find three dog head statues and solve a stupid puzzle to unlock a door

but there’s like, windows everywhere

and ethan has a gun

just fucking shoot a window and go outside 

you know whats more dangerous than a window?

and at one point in the movie she is discovered by a gallery owner when she paints this mural at a bar

he is amazed and begs her to do a show at his gallery. this is taking place in nyc btw. of course her pieces sell instantly