Was chatting with a potential partner on fetlife(basically Facebook for kinky people) and feeling very hopeful. We appear to be extremely compatible. But I've learned to be wary, and asked for him to provide a few people with fleshed out profiles to vouch for him. And for the first time he stopped being immediately accommodating and understanding about relationship boundaries and hard limits, and got cagey, asking if he could think about it. I find myself disturbed that of his 67 friends(all of whom are women, big red flag because it indicates that he hasn't made any male friends in the past 6 years on fet, and also all the groups he belongs to are devoted to finding partners, meaning developing friendships within the community isn't important to him), he can't immediately think of a single one he's confident will tell me he's a good guy. He asked if he could think about it because his history on there is "patchy" due to failed relationships and long absences. I've had failed relationships too and haven't been on fet much lately, but I can easily think of several people who I'm confident would vouch for me.
Yeah, no, fuck this. Dealbreaker. Not waiting for him to message me back. What a damn shame.














