Original Meganprincess

Two key passages from “Dimensions of Gender”. The full article is here along with others. Knowledge is power! Empower yourself and then empower your sisters: General 2 — Gender Spectrum

“Gender identity is an inherent aspect of a person’s make-up. Individuals do not choose their gender not can they be made to change it. However, the words and terms someone uses to communicate their gender identity may change over time; naming one’s gender can be a complex and evolving matter. Because we are provided with limited language for gender, it may take a person quite some time to discover, or create, the language that best communicates their internal experience. Likewise, as language evolves, a person’s term for their gender may also evolve. This does not mean their gender has changed, but rather that the words for it are shifting.”

Be wary of 'kindly' people asking curious questions at the start of your transition. They usually turn out to be transphobes. They will try to get you to open up and then they spew poison. Shut these people down before they can even start. Tell them to Google it if they are so fucking interested. You are NOT their resource for all things trans. You don't have to know all of the answers. You don't have to defend yourself as a woman. That's their game, not yours. NEVER answer questions about parts or what your deadname is or anything that wouldn't be asked of a cisgender woman. If someone asks you when you 'decided to become trans', throw your drink in their face. Being a woman is not for sissies. Stand tall and proud.

Btw, these questions and people usually disappear fairly early in. You learn to see/hear it coming. Don't let anybody try to steal your dignity ever.

"Can I ask you a question?'

"No"

or

'For most nonbinary and transgender people — myself very much included — we can spend years, even decades, trying to puzzle things out. In many cases, we may try doing all we can to fight against our trans nature, trying to create a cultural identity we can either feel comfortable in or one that we may feel will “cure” us of trans feelings.

Transitioning (for many) happens after you reject the notion that you are a weak male with a fetish, also known as a sissy, and accept yourself as a transgender woman. It's not about getting off to fantasies. It's not about playing dress up. Honestly embracing the woman within you is the key.

Self-actualize

This is still the single most important resource I have ever found for transwomen and those questioning/exploring.

Read it here: The Gender Dysphoria Bible :: That's Gender Dysphoria, FYI

This is only a small part of it but very powerful and true of the trans journey for many:

"Imagine a person who was born in a cave, who spent their entire life living underground, with their only source of illumination being candles and oil lamps. Imagine they’ve never been above ground; they don’t even know the surface exists. Then, one day, a cave-in happens in a side tunnel, and reveals an opening to the surface. Sunlight pours into the opening, and at first it is blinding and the person runs away in fear. Later, they return to the opening, and, as the person’s eyes adjust, they look out through the hole and see a bright and brilliant world full of colors they didn’t even know existed.

That world is scary, huge, and full of unknowns, so they crawl back into the cave for safety, but that hole is still there, and they see the light every time they pass it. Gradually, they peek out more and more frequently, and further and further from the opening. They start to want that light; they find reasons to visit it more often.

Eventually they realize that they don’t want to go back into the hole any more. They have to go back, because that is where their family and friends are, but this place is so much better, and they want to stay here. Going back into the hole feels wrong; it starts to hurt to be in the dark so much.

This is what gender euphoria is like: brief flashes of a light that may be too bright to handle at first, too confusing to understand, but as time goes on you become more accustomed to them and you realize that this is where you belong, and the darkness becomes the dysphoria.

Fish don't notice water. It's all around them. Most fish have never left it.

And often, trans people in denial don't notice the gender dysphoria that suffuses their daily lives.

THE USE OF FILTERS IN SELFIES

I can only share from my own experience. Filters are useful before you hatch and just afterwards as a source of inspiration. I did the same thing. When I hatched, I made a Faceapp filtered image of myself and I showed it all around to the few people I’d come out to at that point, almost shouting, “THIS, is what I’m going to look like!”. It IS exciting to see what you COULD look like. The problem is that you probably WON’T look like that after HRT. You will look something like that, maybe, but your transition will surprise you. And I don’t mean that in a negative way. You will look something like how you would have looked if assigned the correct gender and not some software program’s best guess. And, however you ‘look’ during transition (and after, if there is such a thing. I have ideas about that, too. Lol) you are always valid and lovely. Also, the question of authenticity comes into play. Being trans is ultimately about being your authentic self and accepting her as she is, warts and all, by which I don’t mean to say we stop ‘improving’ our looks. Don’t get me wrong; NOBODY wants to post an awful selfie on social media but posting a fake ‘prettied’ up AI version of yourself can lead to severe dysphoria when you look in the mirror and don’t see it match. You must learn to love yourself. Yes, even with no makeup. In any state of appearance. You’re beautiful. But I get the pressure to use filters. Validation must come from within, though. So what if that other person posts a doctored image of herself and gets 10 times the reactions? Who is being more real? You are if you stick with authenticity. Playing into patriarchal stereotypes of what female beauty should look like is a trap. Becoming addicted to a false image of yourself is harmful. Be you!

I challenge you to go filterless (just as I urged people a couple weeks ago to use more authentic, less sexualized usernames here). You can thank me later. Somebody taught me this key lesson in the first month of my life as the 24/7 full-time woman I'd always been without knowing and I am still so very grateful.

This is NOT about gatekeeping, btw.

I’ve said all of this to prime you to read this article:

Navigating Body Image: Trans Identity and Online Filters (by Bricki).

‘This article explores a transgender woman's personal journey with social media filters and their complex impact on self-esteem and body image. It delves into how filters can both alleviate gender dysphoria and reinforce unrealistic beauty standards, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, self-compassion, and community support in navigating these challenges.’

Key excerpts:

“Social media filters, while seemingly harmless, can contribute to distorted self-perception and reinforce unattainable beauty standards. They blur the line between reality and illusion, making it difficult to accept our authentic selves. The constant comparison between our filtered images and unfiltered reality can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.”

For further reading, please see the article itself, in full:

I post this particular article because I have heard so many people say that they will transition only when they are passable or have had this surgery or that one. It is almost always said by somebody who has not truly self-accepted as a trans woman. It makes me a little sad because looking like a Barbie doll is not the goal of transitioning. Of course, we all want to look nice. As much as possible we want to look on the outside like the woman we know ourselves to be on the inside. 'Passing" becomes a problem when it turns into an obsession or when trans women, along the with the rest of the world, use 'passing' as a measuring stick to decide who is worthy of inclusion. Make no mistake, competition among trans women can be intense and it is often based upon some form of passing. Some of this is really just girlworld stuff at a more precarious level. Comparing, as trans women, is death. You don't need to tell your sister how many MLs of Estradiol you are injecting weekly. You don't need to tell her your E level or your bra size or even about your surgery (save it for your bff). Especially if these things are going to cause dysphoria for others. Never lose sight of the true goal of transitioning: authenticity. The goal is not passing. Surgeries are fine. HRT is amazing. So are cute clothes and makeup. Anything which relieves your dysphoria is generally fine. It's NOT awful to work on yourself and be as pretty as you can be. Just don't use it as a battering ram against others or become consumed by it or the concept of 'passing'. If you are a trans woman, you ARE a woman no matter how you 'present'. You don't even have to change your voice; most of us do our best because it just feels 'right' and makes life out in the world much easier. You don't have to be ashamed to be trans or be allergic to being 'clocked as trans', though. Fuck 'em, you ARE trans and so what? Be proud. And ofc, do it your way and feel free to reject all of this. It is truly your life, girl.

Okay, to the article >

The Pressure to Pass (by Bricki)

Key excerpts:

'This article explores the intense social pressure many transgender women face to "pass" as cisgender. It discusses how unrealistic expectations surrounding physical appearance during transition, especially those tied to hormone replacement therapy (HRT), can negatively impact mental health. '

"The focus on passing can overshadow the actual goal of transitioning: to live authentically and find inner peace."

"We need to create spaces where transgender women can feel safe and supported, regardless of where they are in their transition or how they present. This includes addressing the harmful narratives around passing and offering emotional support to those who are struggling. Mental health resources, peer support groups, and communities of understanding can make a world of difference for transgender women dealing with the pressures of passing."

Want to read more? The article itself:

It’s Just a Fetish, Right?

Maybe. Or maybe it’s gender dysphoria.

(By Amanda Roman)

She mentions reading erotic transformation stories on Fictionmania but she could also just as well be talking about scrolling endlessly through the porn jungle of Tumblr looking at erotic captions/memes. You should REALLY read this. It's short.

This absolutely lines up with my own experience as a transwoman:

Essential reading: "Sonja’s Guide to Gender Questioning"

This is an excellent resource. I'll quote a bit of it and leave the link.

"Questioning your gender identity–i.e. figuring out what your true gender identity is–comes down to learning enough about how gender actually works (rather than just how everyone assumes it works) and about how it affects trans people so that you can make a coherent assessment about how gender identity is playing out in your own life.

The first thing to learn is that gender identity is not the same as gender expression. That is, how your “soul” feels about itself is not necessarily the same as how your body looks, when it comes to the gender categories we’re familiar with. For purposes of this document, “soul” means only the innermost part of your mind that is your identity as a person, with no implications or connections to any religious use of the word.

In short: we grow up with a default cis-centric assumption that gender is one thing, that it is a monolithic phenomenon, dictated or governed by what kind of body you have. In actuality, gender is a dualistic phenomenon, composed of gender identity and gender expression, in which the inner gender identity is the part that determines whether you’re male or female irrespective of what kind of body you have."

Much more here. Educating yourself empowers you:

Trans Advocacy & Care Team (TACT)

Trans folks helping other trans folks thrive

Providing free, sliding-scale support services and resources, ensuring no trans person has to face the world alone: