Original Meganprincess

It’s Just a Fetish, Right?

Maybe. Or maybe it’s gender dysphoria.

(By Amanda Roman)

She mentions reading erotic transformation stories on Fictionmania but she could also just as well be talking about scrolling endlessly through the porn jungle of Tumblr looking at erotic captions/memes. You should REALLY read this. It's short.

This absolutely lines up with my own experience as a transwoman:

Essential reading: "Sonja’s Guide to Gender Questioning"

This is an excellent resource. I'll quote a bit of it and leave the link.

"Questioning your gender identity–i.e. figuring out what your true gender identity is–comes down to learning enough about how gender actually works (rather than just how everyone assumes it works) and about how it affects trans people so that you can make a coherent assessment about how gender identity is playing out in your own life.

The first thing to learn is that gender identity is not the same as gender expression. That is, how your “soul” feels about itself is not necessarily the same as how your body looks, when it comes to the gender categories we’re familiar with. For purposes of this document, “soul” means only the innermost part of your mind that is your identity as a person, with no implications or connections to any religious use of the word.

In short: we grow up with a default cis-centric assumption that gender is one thing, that it is a monolithic phenomenon, dictated or governed by what kind of body you have. In actuality, gender is a dualistic phenomenon, composed of gender identity and gender expression, in which the inner gender identity is the part that determines whether you’re male or female irrespective of what kind of body you have."

Much more here. Educating yourself empowers you:

Trans Advocacy & Care Team (TACT)

Trans folks helping other trans folks thrive

Providing free, sliding-scale support services and resources, ensuring no trans person has to face the world alone:

I like to write. Btw, journaling is something I highly recommend.

About me: I self-accepted as a trans woman in 2021 and began transitioning medically and socially at the start of 2022. We all do it differently, but I essentially just flipped the switch and went 24/7 overnight on the first day of my transition and never looked back.

Through boredom or, perhaps, curiosity I returned here in December 2025 to take a look around at a place where I’d spent several years before my ‘hatch’. I'd been booted during the 'great purge' on Tumblr in 2020 and it was the best thing that ever happened. Maybe I wanted to feel the old magic of massive reactions to my posts, though. But those were confused, mostly lost years (between 2015 and 2020) when my content featured tons of stereotypes and what I recognize now as misogyny in many cases. I came back with fairly pure intentions (Maybe I missed my old role of dominatrix which I just can’t get into anymore. I’d never want to force anyone to do anything or shame them. That was an old persona and it’s just not me anymore) and then an old superfan contacted me and sent me my old Tumblr archives from 2016 to 2020 from when I still didn’t even know I was a trans. It was surreal for me to see my progress so clearly in this massive trove of 5,000 captions. There was a discernable arc; early captions from 2015 to 2018 were so very stereotypical and sexist and highly sexualized and they equated being trans and being a woman with weakness. Gross. By 2019-2020 the trend in my content was MUCH more affirming and sought to encourage transwomen to live their truth and transition (even though I somehow didn't even know I was trans yet! My soul must have known). Still, when I returned and was sent the old captions, I started reposting EVERYTHING from those old archives which was a mistake. I should have deleted the poisonous stuff. It just didn’t feel right or fair after a while to spread it all over again as an out and proud transwoman. I mean, it was wonderful having 100,000 followers way back then and I could do it again by, but I won’t do it at the cost of my soul. The same holds true for my old ‘sissy’ erotica short stories which were read by 1.5 million people on Fictionmania in those days (I’ve only left 5 of those stories up at that site out of 100 because they are fairly sweet ones). I could write and post those kinds of stories again, but I won't. I hope I was never a harmful influence with either my captions here or my fiction there. I like to think that I have helped more people than I've harmed. My writing is actually what led directly to me finally hatching, though, so I have mixed feelings about those days. It was just part of my growth as a human. Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for not knowing then what we know now. And when we make mistakes now, we fix them as soon as we become aware. That's growth.

Now that I’ve looked back into my past, I am only looking forward.

I am resolved. I won’t spread harmful stereotypes. I’ve just spent several days/hours ‘scrubbing’ over 4,000 captions I’d reposted over the last 8 months. I am only interested in positive content for transwomen. My goal is to empower those who are transitioning, especially if they are earlier in their journey than me (but not too early). To be honest, it was painful to see what I’d created before and to relive the confusion. All of that is so far behind me now.

So, what did I find when I came back to Tumblr? Not what I expected. This place is more alive than ever with content which makes transwoman look likes toys for men to use or makes them look like a subspecies. Even worse, I found people equating trans womanhood with being a sissy. Eww. Gross. I don’t want any part of cesspool thinking. And it’s sad to see that there is almost no escaping these men who sexualize everything while calling themselves sissies. If you post a picture of a transwoman, they goon to it. If you post a picture of a cisgender woman, they do the same. I am trying very hard to make my blog a space that is only for transwomen and a space that feels safe. All I can do is keep blocking pretenders. It is so sad for me to look at the blogs of some of the people following me. They must really hate women and especially transwomen. It’s disgusting how they portray us and what they choose to reblog and I’m sorry that I ever contributed to ANY of it. I'm looking at their blogs and blocking the ones who post negative content. You don't celebrate womanhood by portraying transwomen/women as weak, inferior toys for men. That is just plain toxic, and I don't want it near me.

To show you how backwards and misguided Tumblr is, they made me apply a 'sexual themes' label to a post about gender. They must confuse gender with sexuality. How sad. Being a transgender woman has nothing to do with who you like to sleep with. This is the fucked up world we live in, girls, but we thrive anyway:

"You might not know that the journey of transformation often involves more than the physical aspects; it’s a deep emotional and psychological evolution. As you navigate this path, you’ll encounter unique challenges, from understanding the nuances of hormone therapy to handling the societal pressures and prejudices that unfortunately still persist. These experiences can profoundly shape your perception of identity and belonging. It’s essential to recognize the resilience required to embrace such a transformation, but have you considered how these elements interplay to redefine personal and social understanding of gender? Let’s explore how these experiences contribute to the growth and realization of one’s true self.

Key Insights

Explore gender identity through personal reflection and professional counseling to understand your own transition journey.

Engage in hormone therapy and consider surgeries as part of physical transitioning, under medical guidance.

Build a support network with friends, family, and support groups to navigate emotional and social challenges.

Educate yourself on legal rights and anti-discrimination laws to protect and assert your identity.

Prioritize mental health by accessing specialized resources and practicing regular self-care.

Reflecting on your transformation marks a pivotal anniversary of rebirth, where you celebrate your growth and navigate the complexities of evolving gender expression. This day isn’t just a marker of time; it’s a profound acknowledgment of the journey you’ve commenced on—a journey of aligning your outer self with your inner truth. You’ve faced uncertainties and challenges that have shaped not only your identity but also how you perceive the world around you.

Each year, you might find yourself pondering over the changes, the strides you’ve made, and the hurdles you’ve overcome. It’s a moment to reflect on how past experiences have molded your current perceptions. You’ve likely wrestled with complex feelings, sometimes feeling anchored in your new identity, other times adrift in a sea of old memories and former selves.

Yet, this reflection is vital. It allows you to take stock of your evolution, appreciating the full spectrum of your transformation. It’s not just about recognizing where you’ve been but also envisioning where you’re heading. Through this process, you learn to navigate your transformed life with a deeper understanding and renewed resilience, continually evolving in your journey of self-discovery.

Expressing Gender Identity

As you celebrate your growth, understanding how you express your gender identity becomes increasingly important in aligning your external appearance with your internal sense of self. Each choice, from the clothes you wear to the way you style your hair, isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s a declaration of who you are.

Navigating the complexities of how others perceive you can be challenging. Despite your efforts, misgendering can occur, and it hurts. It’s essential to build resilience and find supportive spaces where your identity is affirmed and celebrated. Communicating your pronouns clearly and setting boundaries with those around you’re critical steps in being recognized as the woman you are.

Over time, you’ll notice that your self-perception begins to shift. Embrace this evolution. The way you see yourself might change as you reconcile your past experiences with your current reality. This journey is uniquely yours. Allow yourself the flexibility to grow and adapt. Each step you take is a part of crafting the person you’re becoming, a reflection of both your identity and your courage.

How have your relationships evolved since embracing your true identity as a woman? You may find that the dynamics in your connections have undergone significant shifts. As a woman, your interactions, especially with cisgender friends, might now entail a different tone and depth. It’s not uncommon to experience a mix of acceptance and awkwardness as those around you adjust to the new you.

You’ve likely observed that women’s spaces, which were once off-limits, are now open for you, yet they come with their own set of unspoken rules and nuances. Understanding and maneuvering through these can be challenging but immensely rewarding. The shared experiences can forge stronger, more empathetic bonds.

On the flip side, your relationships with men might’ve transformed as well. You’re possibly seen differently, altering the nature of your conversations and the mutual understanding you once took for granted. They might struggle with how to relate to you now, which can feel isolating but also offers a chance to build new, more genuine connections based on your true self.

Exploring your new interactions, you’ll also encounter varying societal expectations that shape how others perceive and interact with you as a woman. This can feel like maneuvering through a complex new landscape where every step is scrutinized. You’re not just learning to be yourself; you’re learning to be yourself within the confines of what society expects from women.

Here are a few common expectations you might face:

Appearance and Beauty Standards: You’ll notice a heightened attention to your physical appearance. Society often expects women to maintain a certain level of grooming and style, which can be both empowering and exhausting.

Behavior and Demeanor: There’s an often unspoken rule about how women should behave. You might find yourself expected to be more polite, agreeable, or nurturing than before. It’s important to find a balance that feels true to who you are.

Professional and Social Roles: In work and social settings, you may face assumptions about your interests and capabilities simply because you’re a woman. It’s important to assert your individual strengths and challenge these stereotypes.

Maneuvering through these expectations is a journey of balancing societal norms with your authentic self. You’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to seek support and community as you redefine what being a woman means to you."

Self-acceptance is THE single most important thing. Without it, you are stuck. As always, I will remind you that if you are confused or curious about your gender then you should seek a gender-affirming therapist who follows WPATH standards. You will be glad you did. Peace of mind is worth finding.

You have to start taking control of your life. The 'waiting for the right time' strategy could cost you decades of well-being and happiness. No good therapist is ever going to pressure you. It's about learning to love yourself no matter what your assigned gender was or how it feels now.

"Self-acceptance as a trans woman is about honoring your true identity, embracing your feelings without judgment, and building a foundation of self-love that supports your well-being.

1. Embrace Your Unique Identity Recognize that your gender identity is an intrinsic part of who you are, not something to apologize for or change to fit societal expectations. Seeing yourself reflected in media, art, and stories can validate your experience and strengthen your sense of belonging.

2. Practice Self-Compassion Be kind to yourself, especially when facing self-doubt or internalized transphobia. Accept your feelings without judgment—this reduces anxiety and stress and fosters resilience. Use affirmations, journaling, and mindfulness to reframe negative thoughts and build a positive self-image.

3. Challenge Internalized Transphobia Imposter syndrome and self-doubt often stem from societal pressures and invalidation. Challenge these beliefs by engaging in open conversations, seeking supportive communities, and recognizing that your identity is valid and worthy of love.

4. Surround Yourself with Support Connect with trans women and LGBTQ+ communities where you can share experiences, receive affirmation, and find solidarity. Supportive relationships can help you navigate challenges and reinforce your sense of self.

5. Commit to Self-Love Rituals Engage in activities that bring you joy and affirm your identity—whether it’s affirmations, creative expression, or spending time in nature. These rituals help you internalize your worth and build confidence.

6. Understand the Journey Self-acceptance is not a straight path; it often involves setbacks and growth. Remember that your gender is yours to claim, and that you are not a burden or a “sick person” for being trans. This mindset protects your dignity and empowers you to move forward."

You can't 'decide' to be a girl. Nobody can 'make' you be a girl. (Hypno is crap, btw). You're either born that way or you're not. It's a matter of the soul but there is also science. Don't be discouraged if you are strangely curious but don't necessarily 'feel like a woman' at this point. If you are truly an egg, that awareness/realization comes like a bolt of lightning (more times than not) when you 'hatch'. But, more info on our main topic:

"Gender incongruence is the state of having a gender identity that does not correspond to one's sex assigned at birth. This is experienced by people who identify as transgender or transsexual and often results in gender dysphoria."

What is the Cause of Gender Incongruence?

"To put it bluntly, we don’t know (at least not firmly). Science and modern psychology have proven that it is not caused by nurture; no one becomes transgender, gender identity is congenital, solidifying before we even exit the womb. It also appears to sometimes be hereditary; transgender parents have a higher likelihood of having transgender children, and many times they realize this in reverse. The child comes out to the parent, and that helps the parent realize they can come out as well."

Ahh, gender euphoria! It's not sexual. Cisgender men and women experience it. And so do trans people. It is a feeling that eggs don't often identify even though they experience it, too. Transitioning trans women experience it at a much deeper and frequent level the further they progress along their journey. More:

"Gender euphoria can manifest in many ways, ranging from intense joy to subtle feelings of rightness. Examples include:

Seeing oneself in the mirror and feeling, “Yes, that’s me”.

Being addressed with the correct name or pronouns. (My note: You will NEVER get tired of this. It will NEVER not make you happy.)

Experiencing alignment between one’s body and gender expression, such as after gender-affirming medical care or clothing choices.

Feeling confident and comfortable in social or public spaces that previously caused discomfort. It can be a warm, electric sensation, a quiet hum of contentment, or a deep sense of hope and excitement. (My note: This! contentment.)

Importance and Impact

Experiencing gender euphoria is linked to better mental health outcomes. Research shows that transgender and nonbinary youth who report high levels of gender euphoria have lower odds of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation compared to those with low levels. It highlights the importance of affirming gender experiences, whether through social recognition, supportive environments, or gender-affirming medical care."

There, I simplified it for you. And, as with any dream, you commit to overcome all obstacles to achieve it with an unstoppable passion. Roadblocks and things which cause delays become unacceptable.

If you're a trans woman living it full-time than maybe you already know that one the surest ways to get misgendered in public is to speak with a deep, male sounding voice. HRT does not make your voice go higher, so you have to work on it. I personally don't think you should spend money on it, though. There are just so many free resources and apps you can use. Just Google it! But here is some basic info:

"MTF voice training is a structured process to reshape your voice, so it sounds and feels more feminine, focusing on pitch, resonance, intonation, and articulation — not just raising pitch alone. (If you only speak higher, nobody will be able to hear you, trust me)

Key Voice Feminization Elements

Pitch: Aim for a higher range (about 165–255 Hz) compared to men’s average (85–180 Hz).

Resonance: Shift from chest resonance to more head/mask (face) resonance for a softer, more feminine tone.

Intonation: Use more melodic, expressive pitch variation across sentences.

Articulation: Clearer consonants and vowels, especially A, E, I, O, U, and Y.

Self-Training Exercises (No Coach Needed)

You can practice at home with minimal tools:

Mirror & Phone Recorder: Watch mouth/throat movement and record yourself to check form.

Pitch Tracking Apps: Use free tuners or pitch apps to monitor pitch changes.

Daily Warm-Ups: Follow-along videos for gentle, judgment-free practice.

Resonance Drills: Practice humming, lip trills, and gentle vowel sounds to engage head resonance.

Intonation Practice: Read sentences slowly, varying pitch to mimic feminine speech patterns."

Professional Training Options - There are tons of these out there but I'm not going to pitch them.

You can do this without paying. Practice is the only way. Being with other women and just chatting and being mindful. You have to really think before you speak and don't be afraid to use a bit of 'valley girl' upspeak which is actually one of the most common techniques. You want to avoid using a monotone voice at all costs. Put more pauses between your phrases in sentences. Use upspeak at the end. You know what this is, right? It's where every sentence sounds like a question? lol. Watch Clueless or Valley Girl and you'll hear and know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't overuse it though, or you will sound fake.

Popular Apps for MTF Transgender Voice Training

"If you’re looking to train your voice for a more feminine sound, several apps offer real-time feedback, pitch tracking, and guided exercises to support your progress.

1. Genderfluent A free, AI-powered app for gender-affirming voice training. You can record your voice and get instant feedback on pitch, gender estimation, and other vocal characteristics. It includes visualization tools to see where you’re doing well or need improvement, progress tracking, and the ability to save and share recordings.

2. TransVoice A free online app with real-time pitch tracking, AI-powered dialogue exercises, and anonymous community feedback. It’s designed for self-guided practice, with tips like starting at a baseline pitch (around 180–220 Hz) and focusing on resonance and intonation. No downloads are required, and it’s completely free.

3. Resona A professional-grade app for trans and nonbinary voice training, using a real-time FFT waterfall spectrogram for instant feedback on pitch, resonance, and vocal characteristics. It’s privacy-first, with all processing done locally in your browser, and offers visual controls to adjust brightness, resonance, and formants.

Tips for effective use

Start with short, daily sessions (10–15 min) rather than long, infrequent ones.

Focus on both pitch and resonance — higher pitch alone isn’t enough for a feminine sound.

Record and listen back to hear how your voice sounds to others.

Use spectrogram apps to visualize your vocal patterns and adjust accordingly.

For the most immersive and guided experience, Genderfluent and Resona offer strong visual feedback, while TransVoice is ideal for quick, no-download practice."

These are pretty, yes? They're made for wearing out.

Adding only one size will sometimes work when it comes to converting for MTF trans girls. The fits can definitely vary by manufacturer but 1.5 is a good rule of thumb to add to your old size in those yucky shoes you used to wear. Note: It is common for transwomen to talk about how their feet 'shrink' after being on HRT. There isn't much science on it yet, but, from my experience and from talking to hundreds of trans women, I'd say that a half size reduction is not uncommon. (which is why, in the first sentence, I say that adding just one shoe size up sometimes works.)

Of course, the best way to know if the pair of shoes you have fallen in love with will fit just right is what? To try them on. Which means what? You're gonna have to go out to thrift stores and shoe stores and actually put them on and walk a bit to be sure. Unless you love returning things through the mail? Ha ha.

I know some fledgling trans girls are really scared to go out shopping but there is really nothing to be nervous about. It's your new life so you should celebrate and embrace it. You're just a woman looking at shoes now. I get why sissies are nervous because they are hiding a secret and it's written all over their faces but you, my friend, are a badass, confident trans woman and this is just part of your life. A walk in the park.

But if you're buying online add 1.5 and if you're transitioning and on HRT then maybe try just one size up.

This includes transwoman, too, of course, because transwoman ARE women. If you are giving transwoman less respect than cisgender women or you think that trans women are weaker than cisgender women, then you are a transphobe and that's just gross. Trans women are not some lesser form of woman.