They are clearly looking at the laser pointer.
@dark-elf-writes

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@fadinggalaxysalad
They are clearly looking at the laser pointer.
@dark-elf-writes

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HEY. OKAY. SO. I went off in the groupchat this morning a little and I think I want to say this in public to ALL of my fellow Fandom Elders. I have been a fangirl online for thirty years now, and YOU KNOW WHAT? I'm tired of my peers apologetically calling themselves ancient grandma fandom mummy hags!
It's not weird that we are here! There are SO MANY OF US! We're not outliers, we're not oddballs. We are occupying a space we CREATED and we are still fucking here, having fun with all our younger online friends, which is COOL AND GOOD and NOT EMBARRASSING ACTUALLY. It's fucking rad.
Look. We *built* online fandom, comrades! We built it with Angelfire and Geocities and the fucking telephone cables we unhooked from our phones to plug into our enormous, boxy desktop computers to suffer through glacial download speeds that today's children can't even fathom. I think we should all agree to stop apologizing for being here when this is our fucking house. An excellent sentiment (not mine):
To all of my beloved young friends - remember this when you get older. You don't need to grow out of fandom. Who the fuck cares if it's cringe? Childlike joy is something to CELEBRATE, NOT SOMETHING TO BURY AND HIDE!
Fandom costs no money! Fandom doesn't require gas mileage or plane tickets! Fandom promotes human connections! The world is cold and miserable and full of pain. Don't fucking give up simple things that fill your heart with joy just because you feel like you should now that you have arbitrarily grown 'too old' to enjoy them.
thank you for 300+ followers!!! have a chibi Fox π¦
Y'all.
I did some digging.
The word that led to all this was "scry".
Shit be wildin on threads this week
You should also be able to figure out what a text is saying without understanding every word. 90% of the time you'll do just fine even if a word is unfamiliar. You should be able to understand the meaning of a word through context, or at least the meaning of the sentence or paragraph. There are some rare instances where the specific word is crucial, but most of the time it's not necessary to understand the text.
This is a skill you are taught in foreign language classes btw. When you get to a certain level, they give you texts with words you probably don't know yet, and you have to summarise the text without looking any of them up. It really helps with your literacy skills. I can really recommend picking up some books with unfamiliar vocabulary and trying to understand it without looking up words

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Where did your first name come from?
I was named after one of my parents
I was named after a dead relative or family friend
I was named after a living relative or family friend
I was named after a religious figure
I was named after a historical figure
I was named after a fictional character
I was named after a place
My parents just chose a name they liked
Other
Having been named after a character in The Great Gatsby by my English-major dad, I thought I would ask about this.
NEED THAT MAN PREGNANT POLL ~SEASON TWO~ WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT
It's been a long journey guys, but we're finally here with the results of our big season two round robin finale!
In 4th place - Dick Grayson/Nightwing (DC)
In 3rd place, with one win - Gomez Addams (The Addams Family)
In 2nd place, with two wins - Starscream (Transformers)
... and in 1st place, with three wins, our 2026 Mpreg Champion -
YUE QINGYUAN FROM THE SCUM VILLAIN'S SELF-SAVING SYSTEM!
I don't know how, but you crazy bastards really managed to pull it off. I hope the Sect Leader is very happy with his dozen mini Xiao Jius.
STAY TUNED FOR OUR INSEMINATOR BONUS POLLS, WHERE WE SHALL SELECT THE MEN WHO GET THE HONOR OF BECOMING ZHANGMEN-SHIXIONG'S BABY DADDIES.
Caught ya!
But really, I'm so glad to finally know who you are on Tumblr after all the time of having you as a faithful reader on AO3...
I have been perceived! Hello! I feel like a celebrity stalker when a favorite author knows who I am on here lol like hi yes, big fan of your work where you write the things, following you here too but I swear I'm not a creep.
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I've scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, "Um," from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We're just... in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn't even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don't like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she's not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just... dumbfounded. She's not even mad. I'm not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There's a bit of laughter, but it's mostly just... confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she's not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
"What... did you do?"
"I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea."
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn't scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, "I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price."
And that's when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn't take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don't. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
thatβs just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
would yβall ever date someone with the same name as you?
Iβm sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groomβs name was Loren and the brideβs name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all βintroducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wifeβ and the entire assembled lost it
also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called themΒ βDom and Dommerβ which is honestly the funniest shit ever
My parents are both named Terry (spelled differently) but Iβm pretty sure thatβs one of the reasons my mom never changed her last name.
People would call and ask for Terry and child me would be like βboy or girl?β And theyβd panic and hang up. My mom found this endlessly amusing.
Why would you leave this GOLD in the tags??
Had to submit it to the tags for peer review

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if youβve ever thought iβm standoffish, politely distant, or generally hard to befriend, know in your heart that iβm exactly the same in real life. my neighbours just showed up at my door drunk on Canada Day celebrations and told me how desperate theyβve been to meet me for the past few months and then tried to fix the water pump in my basement
one of the neighbours returned today with heavy machinery and gravel and fixed my driveway. i feel like a feral animal theyβre trying to coax with little treats
they've told me the gossip which is that a few years back a 70 yr old man collapsed the bridge at the end of my road by driving his tractor over it, lost his tractor in the river, climbed back up the cliff unscathed, walked an hour home, and then the whole road fell into disrepair and all the campgrounds closed and the once popular waterfall down the road became obscure and secret. so like, be the change you want to see in the world. collapse a bridge to chase out the tourists. also you can lose widespread knowledge in under 10 years if one old man collapses a bridge
also i met this bridge collapsing old man on a walk a few months ago and he said to me "you should check out the river at the end of the road, there's a tractor in it!" like he wasn't the one who put it there
>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE
#how long have we been holding on to this one?
iβve had this queued for 365 days
Tarps
my ability to be both a sweetie pie and a sick pervert will lead me to great things

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Poll BLAST!
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
Holy shit
so many misguided metaphors around violence and desire. if the open maw of a panting beast fills you with the want to be devoured, that does not make you prey. while the rabbit trembles in fear, its deepest desire is to run. evolution demands it. in fact, the desire to be eaten does not make you any small animal at all.
it makes you a fruit.