OP: My mundane life hacks (cr 永放光芒)
trying on a metaphor

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
taylor price
noise dept.

oozey mess

if i look back, i am lost

⁂

JBB: An Artblog!

Product Placement

ellievsbear
Peter Solarz
Mike Driver
One Nice Bug Per Day

Love Begins

titsay

Origami Around
Xuebing Du
Cosimo Galluzzi

Kaledo Art

seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from Singapore
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Singapore

seen from Singapore

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@solkorolevaa
OP: My mundane life hacks (cr 永放光芒)

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This is all your fault
Print is available!
not me
She’s looking at you

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The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
This is Peak Yuri media and I hope my beautiful feral daughters love each other forever
why do US patriots think they own "red white and blue" there's a lotta red white and blue flags out there. "i stand for the red white and blue" yass me too let's go costa rica 🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷 let's go laos 🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦 fuck it up liberia 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷 nepal get triangular with it 🇳🇵🇳🇵🇳🇵
this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this
im never leaving this hellsite
i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone
FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see
funniest reactions to this post are the people asking how Adam Sandler can officiate a wedding. literally anyone can do that, basically anyone can get ordained. I'm ordained.
Starting the countdown before someone tracks down Tumblr user batmanisagatewaydrug in real life and asks them to officiate their wedding.

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So just to be clear for the historical record, my liege, we are one hundred percent sure that this apparently unremarkable farm boy is the hero chosen by the gods to beat back the darkness?
Of course it's not that I could ever doubt your judgment, my liege, but the qualifications by which he has established himself do seem somewhat opaque to those of us without direct insight to the will of the divine.
No my liege I do not deny that he has a certain aesthetic appeal. A solid nine out of ten, as you say. Perhaps a ten if he were more acquainted with the concept of personal grooming?
One does wonder, however, if there are not other qualifications that might be more pressing for the specific post of being the hero who will beat back the darkness.
My liege of course is very wise, indeed none could argue that the tools of violence are not frequently overstated in their importance. Given how little we know about the shape the coming scourge is to take, who could say what skills would be required to defeat it? Might not a scholar or physician or even a particularly inspiring poet win us the day, in the end? Most wise, most insightful.
It's just that this particular farm boy doesn't even seem to actually know all that much about farming, my liege?
No no of course that's not relevant, quite correct, your wisdom remains unassailable. What would farming have to do with saving the world indeed!
So we are going with the farm boy. For sure then. No, no, of course my liege this humble servant would not dream of gainsaying your choice.
Pardon me, my liege, but I must go and ponder my orb for a while. There are some dark murmurings I was previously ignoring that suddenly sound a lot more sensible.
Hm? Oh no, I said nothing of importance, your graciousness. Haha, yes, of course we shall drain our already strained coffers to host a celebration for the new champion!
How wonderful.
Squire Affirmations
I will not trip and fall down the stairs while carrying all of my knights armor again
The horses love me
I am not in love with the wizard apprentice
My knight appreciates my hard work
It is not my fault that my last three knights died horribly
How dare you leave this in the tags.
i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c
woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

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I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory
I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know
I Successfully Overthrew The Demon Lord And Instituted Demon Democracy But They Voted For A Commie So The CIA Not Some Fantasy Equivalent The Actual CIA Who Have Known About Magic And Alternate Realms The Whole Damn Time But Won't Just Unisekai Me Launched A Counter Coup And That's When Things Really Went To Shit
ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience
ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’
ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you
ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever
ages 19-30: develop dad lore
ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady
ages 35-40: get married, start a family
ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again
ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more
ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife
ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather
age 86: mysteriously disappear
age 111: Bilbo Baggins themed birthday party