VORVAYNE

how to do things that everyone else seems to do no problem

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

is he … you know … open to interpretation?

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

i appreciate asexual perverts but they get enough attention tbh. shoutout my asexuals with no hoes boring as hell no kinks no dirty magazines no riske drawings just completely winning the idgaf war

hell yeah brother

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry

Like idk how to tell you this but н isnt h and и isnt n

It’s true and you should say it.

If you want to explain, what does it mean then? 0.0

н makes n sound,и makes ee sound, я makes ya sound, р makes r sound, в makes v sound

you mean, like, ня?

oh no. It can be made with Cyrillic now

ня

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EXPLAINED

НЯ

НЯ

OH. GOD.

THATS SO FUNNY

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

FINALLY someone said it!!!!!!!

#A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Oh yeah baby, keep coming at me with watery environmental states

there’s a used bookstore in rural western massachusetts (the montague book mill) whose motto is “books you don’t need in a place you can’t find” and i just feel like that summarizes tumblr too

posts you don’t need on a site you can’t search

yeah i drive the truck that isekais all those lonely 20yo NEETs and bored salarymen. it’s a really hard job. they keep sending me to workplace counselling after each hit. “it’s normal to feel guilt at ending someone’s life,” they say. how do i tell them that’s not what makes me feel guilty? “but it’s okay. he’ll live a better life in another world.” yeah, with 100 girls who could have lived normal lives but got drafted into being in these boring dudes’ harems. how many women’s lives have i ruined. and they don’t even know. they don’t even know

140 CHAPTERS?