potatoes are a love-language

You can begin this process at any time, regardless of how old you have become.

the thing about sidgeno is that it's the quintessential love story where somehow the laws of geography, international law, language and sports management all individualy and simultaneously worked together to make sure two people could meet and become fundamental parts of each other's lives. the thing about sidnate is that nathan mackinnon is living a kind of psychosexual horror drama previously unknown to mankind.

the thing about sidclaude is that sidney crosby and claude giroux tried to kill each other for real.

ok i thought of several more of these. sidovi is like a pr marriage, but the marriage is actually a rivalry to sell more season tickets. sidjack is like a lifetime movie where a small-city girl leaves to new york (actually pittsburgh, pa) to follow her dream job but comes back to her hometown in the christmas season and sees her childhood sweetheart again. sidmario is if you wanted to fuck your highschool teacher. sidmack is if your highschool student wanted to fuck you. sidgenoanna is like if a married couple wanted you to be their purse dog. also, you might have birthed their son. sidkris is a nerd girl and a bad boy, also the bad boy has great hair and is french-canadian. sidflower is if your wife died tragically, or a orpheus/eurydice thing, and your wife/eurydice is also french-canadian. sid x ek is like if you wanted to fuck the pool boy. anyway, the point is if you've stood beside sidney crosby for more than five minutes there's an ao3 tag for you two.

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

Knight shaking blood off from war like a dog shaking off bathwater

saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.

I need my weird alone time or I will explode