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This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

I learned about Greek mythology the way God intended, by watching the original 1981 version of Clash of the Titans movie with Sir Laurence Olivier as Zeus and stop motion effects by the legendary Ray Harryhausen.

So, if you call the police, you would never say, "come quick, a man broke into my house and I shot him," instead you say, "come quick, a man broke into my house and he's been shot."

Every call to emergency services is recorded and is admissible in court.

There’s a pretty good chance that even if you shoot someone and it’s legally justifiable, that you will still be arrested. If your state is bad on self defense or gun laws your chance of being arrested goes up significantly.

The fifth amendment is your friend, refuse to answer questions without a lawyer present. You can easily talk your way into being arrested, but you likely won’t talk your way out of being arrested. So, shut up.

.. tomorrow is technically the day I’m supposed to give my best friend the letter confessing my feelings for him.

I am so terrified. I am incredibly tempted to completely rewrite it to be platonic. everyone I know thinks that we both are in love with each other, but I’m so scared.

I’m leaving it up to you guys. do I or do I not give him my confession tomorrow? if you’re lacking information, feel free to just search “best friend” on my page and you’ll see a decent amount of information, including quotes and photos.

I had other people in our friend group proofread it and they said if I was to confess to him, it was written in the best way it could be as a letter to him.

please reblog this, I need a ton of fucking advice before I do this. I’m genuinely shaking, he is so important to me.

".. blue and white LEDs can cause retinal cell damage under lengthy exposure conditions."

"The warm white LED has the lowest risk of blue light retinal damage and the lowest potential for inhibition of melatonin formation."

Spin the wheel again. That’s who’s trying to protect you.

(If you have zero idea about a name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)

If you feel the urge to cheat on your partner then figure out why and fix it. If you are unable or unwilling to fix it then end the relationship and chase the new person without cheating. It’s really not that hard.