InwardHardar

She. Fuckin' bitch.

It's not even like she lives there, the house is vacant.

Honestly, the least horrifying thing the socket full of eggs could have become

Electric type Geckos

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

I had one of these once, bookshop customer randomly challenged me to name, quote, ‘the only word in English where two u’s are next to each other’, and when I immediately said ‘vacuum’ he looked disappointed and when I pointed out it isn’t even the only word with two u’s next to each other in English and offered ‘continuum’ as an example he looked like I’d just punched his ribcage out his back like a Mortal Kombat character

People claiming this didn’t happen have never worked a day in retail

if you’re going to do this shit you at least have to get excited when somebody actually knows the answer

[103,834 UNIQUE SENTENCES REMAIN]

I'm glad women no longer have to constantly worry about being tied to railroad tracks by villains anymore. #feminism #gowomen

growing up I thought having to rescue my sisters from getting tied to railroad tracks by mustache-twirling villains was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.

Yeah, my sister was almost hit by a train, but only that one time.

"Well, my namesake ancestors arrived in 1662, my great, great, great, great, great great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was a ship captain who became a constable after settling in Massachussets. My mother's family arrived 100 years later, from Antrim, Ireland and fought in the Revolutionary War."

An honest-to-god heritage post <3

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know