It's Fine to be Weird @pragnificent - Tumblr Blog

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curiositysavesthecat

Do you think it's weird and/or predatory for a 13 year-old and a 30 year-old to be best friends if they're not family members or related by blood? Assuming everything is innocent and platonic. Nothing romantic or sexual.

Yes, it's weird and predatory

It's weird. But not predatory

It's predatory. But not weird

No, it's not weird or predatory

Remaining time: 1 day 20 hours

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

creelson

unpopular opinion but I don't think there's anything weird or predatory about an innocent friendship

dianxiacantastemolecules

The question is why the fuck is a thirty year old hanging out with a 13 year old if not in their family?? The only other relation that could have them interact is through teacher/student and bring friends like that would be weird as fuck

creelson

found family? the kid not feeling safe in their house? the adult wanting to help? family / teacher / school isn't always a guaranteed safe place. should the kid and adult each have friends that are their own age too? sure. but if their friendship is genuinely innocent then I think the problem isn't them but people who project their weird and predatory thoughts onto them

the-bar-sinister

Don't forget shared hobbies?

A 13 year old and a 30 year old could reasonably meet at a tabletop gaming store, a fiber arts group, a book club....

audacityinblack

They could literally just be neighbors. This whole isolationist thing of never even talking to the people you live closest to is new and weird.

olderthannetfic

When I was 13, an art teacher who worked for my mother (who ran after school programs) got into the X-Files. This was season 1. Neither of us knew anyone else who was into it, and she wasn't very online given that this was 1994, so she had nowhere else to discuss it. I'd call her every Friday night after the episode, and we'd obsessively go over it.

I'd probably have called her my best friend at the time, though I very much doubt she'd have said the same, partly because having One Single Best Friend and being super weird about which of your friends gets this coveted spot is not something middle-aged people care about.

Some of you have very weird ideas about 13-year-olds living in hermetically sealed bubbles. Frankly, many neurodivergent weirdo 13-year-olds who grew up to be Tumblr users were far, far better at talking to adults at that age than at talking to other 13-year-olds. Many of you would have had a way happier year if you'd also had an old-ass "best friend" to talk to back then.

katanahime

People really need to be more normal about intergenerational friendship.

This concept that it is still "weird" even if it isn't predatory is cutting kids off from community and from the concept of safe adults. And I think it's really really important to have that outside of spaces where people can legally control you.

And as far as what the adult gets out of it. Basically the same thing you get out of any other friendship? Teens are people just like adults are people. You may not be on the same maturity level, but that doesn't mean they aren't fun to hang out with and talk to.

avayarising

Also, is ‘friend of the family’ not a thing any more? At thirteen I was good friends with a 27-year-old whose family had been friends with mine for three generations at that point. Our generations were a bit out of sync (due to differences in when people had kids) but it didn’t stop us being friends.

bramblepatch

I don't think there's anything weird or predatory about them being friends, intergenerational friendships and social groups are great, more 13 year olds should have regular interactions with non-family adults especially in a peer setting.

I think the specification of "best" friends pushes it into territory that is weird, and while not necessarily predatory, certainly potentially deeply unhealthy for one or both parties. It suggests that one or both does not have equally close friendships within their own age cohort, which in turn suggests a deeply isolated child or socially stunted adult. Neither of which is someone that the other should be looking to as a primary confidante or companion. Intergenerational friendships do not negate the need for socializing with similar-aged peers.

thepioden

Yeah, it's the "best friends" that is weird. It's not necessarily bad, but a 30 year and a 13 year old being mutual besties is weird in the sense that it is very unusual.

pragnificent

The "best friends" part is weird, as noted in the comment above.

A kid definitely shouldn't be an adult's best friend, because that implies that the adult has forgotten about the power imbalance between them.

If an adult is the kid's best friend, then obviously that kid is not getting the social interaction they need with their peers, and ideally something should be done to correct that, but a friend is better than no friends.

But it's absolutely Normal and Good for adults and kids to be friends, and honestly there's something weird going on with our society that anyone thinks that's a controversial statement (though the responses on this poll are a lot better than I might have expected).

I know part of it is that so many millennials and the generation coming up behind us as well simply cannot afford children, so we aren't used to them being in our social spaces, but children require socialization, mentorship, and support and care of their entire community.

its-a-seikret

Tbh I don't understand anyone who denies their favorite character's flaws and acts like they've never done anything wrong when that is like consistently the most interesting part of any character ever

pragnificent

How fuckin pissed off Hannibal has to be, this smug motherfucker is sipping wine while he's laying on the floor bleeding, and Hannibal can't even kill him about bc if he kills Will then he can't hang out with Will anymore, and UNFORTUNATELY it has been well established by this point that not being able to hang out with Will = Life RUINED.

pragnificent

I was exhausted and on muscle relaxer last night but this is golden.

kaleidoscopek9

whatever. go my dentures

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keijakku

heroin

chaoticace2005

It’s for making Jax better at gambling

The problem is that the internet used to be the weird kids' lunch table and now it's just the entire high school cafeteria.

How fuckin pissed off Hannibal has to be, this smug motherfucker is sipping wine while he's laying on the floor bleeding, and Hannibal can't even kill him about bc if he kills Will then he can't hang out with Will anymore, and UNFORTUNATELY it has been well established by this point that not being able to hang out with Will = Life RUINED.

rocktheholygrail

Hannibal (2013-2015)

happy pride! 🌈

animentality

bobcatmoran

I absolutely blame Facebook for this shift. Words cannot describe how freaking WEIRD it was in the mid-00s when there was suddenly this popular website where you were required to use your real, brickspace name and encouraged to post photos of yourself. Every single bit of Standard Internet Safety prior to then said that you should never ever ever do either of those.

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jamqyu

new pov 📸😋 (based on my last post!)

pragnificent

They said it couldn’t be done.

They said it was impossible.

They underestimated Tyb Hawke’s ability to be aggressively obnoxious and/or flat out aggressive at the most obnoxious times.

pragnificent

My claim to fame.

pragnificent

A blast from the past.

experimentalmadness

OH MY GOD but imagine that Qun-Qun is a sappy romantic softie who always puts a flower in with his reports to Cullen and every time they meet Qun-Qun bends down and kisses Cullen's forehead! And whenever Cullen's been working too long without stopping, Qun-Qun will put his giant freaking hand over the papers until Cullen agrees to take a break and then Qun-Qun smiles like a big goofball! And whenever they're walking together Qun-Qun hooks their pinkies together but it's just an awkward mess!

@pragula look at this. See what you started. Oh my god it’s infectious.

You should also be aware that we’ve headcanoned that our tol Qunari son frequently hits his horns on the doorways and cries out of embarrassment. Don’t think about Cullen kissing his horns and telling him it’s fine if he’s clumsy because he is too.

don’t

:)

pragnificent

I'm not actually sure this is new, but it's in my notifications, so <33333

completely-sane-scientist

if you bring up omegaverse or mpreg when trans and intersex men try to have discussions about pregnancy you owe every trans and intersex man everything you own

pragnificent

Haven't had a chance to start reading "You Weren't Meant to Be Human" yet, though I know from the summary that it's about a trans man being pregnant in a dire post-apocalyptic situation when he doesn't want to be. Saw a review video thumbnail about the book the other day that said "I'm sick of mpreg!" Like bruh???

thychesters

sometimes love is stored in a kind ao3 comment

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rocktheholygrail

happy 11th mizumono anniversary to those who celebrate! 🥳🎉