I have a keyboard and an overactive imagination @storywonker - Tumblr Blog

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

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You've got to admit, doing all that only to immediately lose 4-1 is tremendously funny

cloudabserk

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.

cambriancrew

parkchanwoohoo

Finally found the legendary mountain on which the world's greatest martial arts expert is said to reside! I can already imagine him, mighty atop the summit! Unfortch there's this old crazy lady at the base of the mountain who keeps laughing at me and saying riddles, but dw, I plan to ignore her!

parkchanwoohoo

Slowly making my way up the mountain. Feels like I'm going in circles. And to make things worse, somehow I can't shake off that old lady. Not sure how she's keeping up with me or how she keeps disappearing when I turn around but I'm sure the warrior on the mountain will explain when I find him

parkchanwoohoo

Guys I just made it to the summit and you'll never fucking believe this

st-just

are kitty cats bourgeois?

Loves hunting rare birds

Violence a core part of social relationships

Will spend 16 hours a day simply reclining in decadent luxury

kitty cats are clearly military aristocrats.

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valencians

fantasy: the kingdom has been ruled by one family for 10,000 years

science fiction: a new species evolved in 30 years

bransonreese

Sometimes I sense the ghost of Bill Watterson about you

Thank you, that's very nice to say about me and very threatening to say about the still living Bill Watterson

the-punforgiven

It's always a knight in some fuckass brigandine nowadays 🙄😒

Fuck with me

in our copy of hana-bi the subtitles never leave the screen until something else is said

hickeywiththegoodhair

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

#it do be like that tho

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lykksalighet

not to be a debbie downer but if you buy cosmetic surgery for your dog you are going to super-hell

the-frog-blog

romanceyourdemons

lmao i’m reading this essay from the 1580s that mentions how if you were wearing a big elizabethan ruff and you got caught in the rain it would flip up in the wind and hit you in the face, and then you’d have to spend the rest of the day with your stupid soggy ruff all flaccid on your shoulders. can you imagine. whole new potentials for pathetic unlocked

#prev me too

queer-scots-geordie-dyke

The Archbishop of Canterbury is secretly messaging people on tumblr. Seems totally legit 🤔🤣

iamnmbr3

This is the funniest scam I’ve ever seen

marisatomay

Just found out Harry Kane is only 32

beardedmrbean

poetrylesbian

this sculpture is from 2011 by artist sara swink

killer-fille

cats have been bothering humans since at least 2011

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dingdongyouarewrong

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

averagejoey2000

dingdongyouarewrong

well damn . egg on my face

dingdongyouarewrong

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

averagejoey2000

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

averagejoey2000

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

averagejoey2000

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

averagejoey2000

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

larval-tear

do not, my friends, become addicted to touching. it will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.

charl0ttan

it will take hold of me?🥺👉👈

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I have a keyboard and an overactive imagination