winter isn't cold for a person with no feelings

airpods are literally such a massive downgrade like remember when headphones cost £2 didn’t need charging didn’t randomly disconnect and didn’t get lost all the time. remember when tech kinda worked for kinda cheap

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

[loading screen tooltip] MEMORIES CAN MAKE YOU NAUSEOUS

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and i'm losing sense of time

let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.

Maybe I can convince y'all to act right by framing things in terms of social engineering. People will be a whole lot more likely to do whatever shit you're trying to hector them into doing if you're not constantly being a dick the whole time. Being niceys is a powerful social engineering tool such as all of the times I have maliciously manipulated people into fulfilling my whims using an evil sociopathic manipulation technique i like to call "asking nice and then saying thanks after"

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

if trump REALLY wanted to take away news coverage from taylor’s wedding, he’d drop dead. but he won’t because he’s a coward!

Official Post of Massachusetts

This is so much better than any AI-generated slop municipalities generated this year for similar messaging.

You can lie when you name things

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue

sometimes i get weirdly anxious about the fact that thousands of years of evolution have led to my specific bloodline and it will almost certainly be ending with me. but then i remember the same is true of like every fly that dies in a drink before it gets the chance to reproduce so like. who am i to get all precious about the concept of bloodlines really. who give a shit. my ancestors arent any better than that flys ancestors.

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son