Books, Christianity, And Hobbies

for swipe after swipe, every single person had put down a variation of “I like roast dinners and walks on the beach.”

But why roast dinners particularly? I desperately wanted to know.

Dunno. They all started doing it at the same time. You see the problem, don’t you -

I do, I said, one person might be a bit uncreative, and forgivable, but this is like a contagious virus.

Puts me off, said my friend, one would be fine, but if they’re all doing it, you don’t even want to pick one up for a fuck, because you might catch it too.

Perhaps we should just be glad that they are having so much fun with their roast dinners and long walks, I suggested.

My friend said bitterly: And their total absence of brain activity?

I said, And that. They must be very successful at finding each other.

It’s a known code for people to find each other. specifically, as you say, people looking for very trad relationships. If you don’t use the code yourself, you will simply be puzzled or irritated

More hilariously, it describes a type of sexual proclivity or activity that lots of us aren’t involved in, but IYKYK

The algorithm that pushes matches to my friend was mistrained, poisoned or glitchy in some way and was piling identical profiles together

Alternatively, my friend’s preferences might somehow be unintentionally incentivising those profiles

My friend accidentally left the “roast dinner” setting ticked when they applied for the app

They’re bots of some kind, possibly even provided by the dating app to make it seem like there are SWARMS of people wanting to meet you.

They’ve all caught a sort of parasite that makes them want to select a compatible partner in conditions that the parasite loves. Perhaps it likes getting a large meal and a walk by the beach because it returns to the sea to breed.

They’re scammers and have determined that this string of words is really convincing to gullible vulnerable people whose bank accounts need draining.

They’re using generative AI to come up with neutral and approachable profiles

They seriously like roast dinners THAT MUCH

It’s an unexpectedly successful gambit describing a type of person considered very sexually desirable, and for every gorgeous person who turns their nose up, 5 people are JUMPING at the chance to snatch up a dinner-eating walker

They are letting their dogs write the profiles

Was inspired by the wonderful post by @hailed-marys so me and @sam-i-am-27 got possessed by the demons and came out with this.

HC list under the cut

Am I expendable? Is that why you want me? That’s not the only reason.