Ask the Beasts, and They Will Tell You

“And there was none so perfect as Peter.”

It’s a verse that appears nowhere in the Bible. If you read all the stuff about Peter in the Gospels, you know why.

Peter is the king of overpromising and underperforming.

Of blurting out whatever, whenever. Of missing the painfully obvious. Of not knowing when to quit. Or when to start. Someone who can go from fighting to the death to running away in 3.9 seconds.

And Peter is exactly who Jesus picks to build the Church on in today’s Gospel.

Not because Jesus is an idiot. But because Jesus knows Peter. Jesus knows everything that Peter will get wrong. Including Peter’s denial of Jesus in the small hours of the morning on Good Friday.

And Jesus still picks him? Yes. Because Jesus knows Peter. Better than Peter knows Peter.

Jesus knows the heart of Peter. Jesus knows that, in spite of Peter’s worst impulses, Peter will keep stumbling towards Him. Peter will lose count of how many times he has fallen.

But Jesus knows how many times Peter will get back up. Jesus knows that Peter will keep trying.

In choosing Peter, Jesus shows us what matters most. 

It’s the same way for you and me. Because God knows us. Better than we know us.

What matters most to God? Isn’t knowing what to do and what to say.

What matters most to God? Isn’t perfect performance.

What matters most to God? Is your heart. And the count.

Not the count of how many times you fall. God doesn’t care how many times you fall.

What matters to God is how many times you get back up.

Which is why God will always help you, every time you even try to get back up.

TW: Human trafficking, SA, torture, discussion of scam farms

I see a whole bunch of people arguing that they would rather risk giving to a scammer than ignore someone's gofundme. I also see people saying things like "I can't believe some sick people are profiteering off genocide" and like, me neither, but I feel like you guys really don't understand who actually runs these kinds of scams and what they are.

Scams of noticeable scale-- like scam asks being sent from hundreds of accounts to every user on Tumblr!-- are typically related to organised crime in poor countries, not Susan from Milwaukee who wants a new coat and has no scruples. People get trafficked by gangs to scam farms in Asia and Africa where they're worked to the bone and tortured trying to get idiots in wealthy countries to part with their money. Genocide profiteering is pretty much the least evil thing these people do.

Here's a UN article on it. Obvious warnings for content related to human trafficking and SA.

When you donate to a scammer, you fund these organisations and give them a reason to exist. It's possible some of the fundraisers are legit. I honestly find it unlikely given I'm not seeing any from any other countries where urgent fundraisers would seem to have great reason to exist but which haven't captured the same level of attention on Tumblr-- the number of Sudanese, Congolese, Ukrainian, Burmese or Uyghur fundraisers in my DMs is a fat 0. In any case, there are safer ways to help.

If you want to help (which is great!) you don't have to take the risk of paying for human trafficking. Donate to legitimate charities which have the resources to safely and effectively ensure the money and help is getting to the right people. Funding human trafficking rings in Myanmar is not a good risk to be taking while trying to help.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

GASP.

"Oh hey these people have their own style of [language A's word for thing. Say, what do you call it?"

"Oh it's [language B's word for thing]."

[item] the way [culture] makes it. 

If you don’t want sliced bread, you want bread the way Eastern Indians make it you ask for Roti, not bread. Because Roti is bread THE WAY [EASTERN] INDIANS MAKE IT. Like fuck, it’s not that complicated a concept. 

The Pentatuch (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy): Moses

Joshua: Joshua

Judges and Ruth: Samuel

I-IV Kings: Started by Samuel, finished by David, compiled and put together by Jeremiah.

I-II Chronicles: ‘Wise men of the Synogogue’

I Esdras and II Esdras (Nehemiah): Ezra

Tobit: No established author.

Judith: No established author.

Esther: Ezra

Job: No consensus. Some say Moses, others one of the Prophets, others Job himself.

Psalms: Many authors; Moses, David, Solomon, Asaph, Ethan, Idithun, the sons of Core, Eman the Ezrahite, and all the rest. They were collected into a single scroll by Ezra.

Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs: Solomon

Wisdom: Philo

Sirach: Jesus ben Sira

Isaiah: Isaiah

Jeremiah, Lamentations, and Baruch: Jeremiah

Ezekiel and Daniel: ‘Certain wise men’

Twelve Minor Prophets: All written by the named author