you don't need them to believe in you

there are many fat gay women which is basically awesome

clap. clap for fat gay women

Did you know that you can stay up all night intending to do work, but if you don't actually do the work, the work doesn't get done, and then you've just fucked up your sleep schedule for no good reason, and you *still have to do the work*?

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

‎

Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.

Reblog to save a life

if you scroll past this just because it doesn’t affect you personally, i see you.

Also, if you get the court date changed to a different day of the week, the cop is much less likely to show up. A lot of cops, being the sort of people who are too lazy to get a real job, will try to have all their court dates on one day, so not being on that day means they’re probably not going to make an entire trip to court for just one case.

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

what

oh my god

well wooden shoe look at that

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE 

my most wild and fanciful dream is that customers will learn to read

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

Okay so i see writers mess this up constantly and i need to talk about it. Introverts and extroverts are not "shy vs loud." That's not what it means and if you write them like that your characters will feel like cardboard. Introvert means you lose energy in crowds and find it alone. Extrovert means the opposite. That's it. An introvert can be the loudest person in the room. An extrovert can be soft-spoken and gentle. The behaviour is not the point. The energy is.