#nonbinary struggles

I recently just found out that there’s trans people who genuinely think that bi-gender or multigender trans people should not be calling themselves anything but bi-gender and multigender…because saying you’re a trans man who is also a woman makes them feel bad about themselves (when it has nothing to do with you).

being nonbinary, whether you identify as trans or not, comes with its own set of specific obstacles that being a trans binary person doesn't come with. this isn't to say that binary trans people struggle less than us, obviously; it just happens that our struggles are different, because we're nonbinary.

here are a few examples on how being nonbinary makes my life difficult:

i can't legally change my gender marker to x or remove the gender marker from my id entirely

many languages (such as portuguese, german, spanish and french) don't officially have gender neutral pronouns, which means that nonbinary speakers have to come up with new terms, which aren't recognized and respected by other speakers 99.999% of the time

it is especially difficult to pass as a nonbinary person because the idea that gender is binary (m/f) is so deeply ingrained in westerners' minds that they wouldn't conceive the possibility of a nonbinary person even when said person is dressed androgynously

and please keep in mind that these are struggles i face as a white able-bodied person who is not an immigrant. other nonbinary people have it much worse than i do based on their circumstances and other axises of oppression.

I have to step into the role of being something that doesn’t feel like me. It’s almost a mask I have to perform something that’s natural to most other people. 

But I cannot stress this enough, as a person who uses they/them, i am still misgendered even by other trans people. I am misgendered by people irl and online even if they have good intentions.

Being a nonbinary person is agonising when you dont have binary pronouns but look too much like one gender. It's hard to correct people in most situations because my entire existence and identity is outing myself.

A binary trans person still has the privilege of possibly passing as their preferred gender.

I still can't go out in public without someone automatically assuming I am binary. And correcting someone is too dangerous in most situations even though im just correcting my own pronouns.

Anyway. Yeah. I'm just kinda sick of it. At least most of my friends use neutral terms for me.

I'm so glad that you have people in your life supporting you through this transitional period. This stuff is hard, and awkward, and just generally a pain in the ass! Discovering, recognizing, protecting, and allowing your unadulterated self to grow and flourish - these are some of the most precious expressions of individuality we have.