#nonbinary erasure

[PT: Stop treating fem and masc as the only way to be non-binary. /End PT]

Fem and masc enben are real, important members of the community. I am a masc enban myself. But people *cannot* keep pushing this "are you a masc enby or a fem enby?" concept. People cannot keep treating fem and masc as the only two gender types that exist.

Stop excluding androgynous enben.

Stop excluding neutral enben.

Stop excluding null enben.

Stop excluding genderless enben.

Stop excluding xenine enben.

Stop excluding outherine enben

Stop excluding aporine enben.

Stop excluding culturally gendered enben

Stop excluding unlabeled enben.

Stop excluding multigender enben.

Stop excluding multitrans/multicis enben.

And while we're on the topic of treating enben like they have only two categories - lesbian/uranian and straight enben are completely real, and deserve to have a place in the community. HOWEVER, please stop neglecting enben (and binary people attracted to enben) who don't fall into those categories. Please stop neglecting diamoric orientations [link].

Please stop neglecting feminamoric, viramoric, symmaic, contraic, ceteramoric, tria, etc, etc. Please stop labelling every single NBLNB, NBLW, and NBLM relationship as "lesbian", "uranian", and "straight."

Please stop acting like every enban should be comfortable using the gay-straight identities.

Also, stop acting like every enban uses they/them (or that every man uses he/him or every woman uses she/her) pronouns, and stop calling enben "theys." It's very othering to hear "men, women, and theys" and exclusionary towards enben who do not use they/them. Enby/enban, person, enbies/enben, and people are all *right there.*

Being androgynous doesn't get us treated better or more seriously than other nonbinary people. There's no nonbinary/androgyonus gender role. We're still seen as an aesthetic, mental illness, ideology. In fact, we're often more visibly queer and trans than fem-aligned and masc-aligned people.

We're a minority in a minority in a minority. Most nonbinary representation is, in fact, not androgynous.

hey guys can we stop doing this

and yet, on tumblr, one of the most progressive places on the internet, there is no official term for a ship between two nonbinary people. the only term ive ever seen floated has been "yaori," a hodgepodge of yaoi and yuri, which in itself makes being nonbinary seem as if it's something in between being a man and a woman. and while some people may identify like that, being nonbinary is a HUGE umbrella term that encompasses a TON of different gender identities, and simply saying being nonbinary falls in between men and women when it comes to gender completely dismisses nonbinary people who identify otherwise!!

also also, on ao3, there only really exist three main shipping labels. M/M, F/F, and M/F. there's Gen, Multi, and Other, yeah, but no categories for nonbinary ships. we deserve better than to be lumped in with M/M or F/F ships! we don't deserve to be dumped in the Other tag! we deserve to be able to be seen as nonbinary!!

also also also, nonbinary erasure is a huge and real thing!! there exist SO few nonbinary characters in mainstream media, and even those who do exist tend to be pointlessly gendered by their fandoms. prime example: a few years ago i saw a person using he/him for a character who canonically uses they/them. i went and let that person know that said character uses they/them, just in case they were unaware (because SO much of the fandom used he/they for this character for NO REASON) and a bunch of people from all over the fandom got really mad with me because i shouldn't have been policing people's headcanons.

and like. okay. sure. you are allowed to have headcanons. but when it's a FANDOM WIDE THING that a character who uses they/them pronouns is referred to with he/they instead, isn't that an issue???? doesn't that go beyond one person's headcanons?????? doesn't that suggest something about nonbinary erasure as a whole?????????????????

This is transandrophobia and exorsexism.

People just love to erase trans men and enben at every opportunity they get.