#nonbinary umbrella

Definition:System Error gender is where you closely identify as something that is not your birth gender, but very little of the time you feel like your birth gender/a gender you normally don't identify as/no gender.

Color meanings:Black: No gender

Blue: Masc/male

Purple: Any gender other than male or female

Green: Birth Gender

Pink: Fem/Female

White: Gender Fluidity

Okay so I actually went and asked around about this because I genuinely wasn't sure and didn't want to assume anything or accidentally be weird about it — and turns out, yes!! Bigender people do fall under the trans umbrella 💀

The short version: trans just means you don't exclusively identify as the gender you were assigned at birth. That's it. That's the whole definition. And since I'm bigender — meaning I identify as BOTH a woman AND a man, not just the woman part I was assigned at birth — that means the trans label technically applies to me whether I actively use it or not.

So I've started identifying as cistrans specifically, which is a term some bigender and multigender people use when one of their genders DOES align with their birth assignment but the other(s) don't. It's not a loophole or a "but actually" situation — it's just a more accurate description of a more complicated gender situation than the binary trans narrative usually accounts for. And before anyone asks — yes I looked into it, it's not a slur or a problematic term 🙃

Okay so cistrans — quick explainer because people get confused about it!

Cistrans is a term used by some bigender and multigender people to describe a specific situation: one of their genders aligns with the gender they were assigned at birth (the "cis" part), but they also identify as at least one other gender that doesn't (the "trans" part). So both things are genuinely true at the same time, hence cistrans as one word.

Like for example — if someone is AFAB and bigender (identifying as both a woman AND a man), the woman part of their identity is technically cis, but the male identity they also genuinely hold makes them trans simultaneously. Not one or the other. Both.

It's not a loophole, it's not a "but actually," and it's not someone trying to sneak into a label that doesn't belong to them. It's just an accurate description of a gender experience that doesn't fit neatly into either the fully cis box OR the standard binary trans narrative.

Which also means I fall under BOTH the trans umbrella AND the nonbinary umbrella simultaneously, since bigender is a multigender identity that exists outside of strictly identifying as only one binary gender. Two umbrellas. I contain multitudes. This is very on brand for me honestly 💀🐱

Anyway. Figured this was worth clarifying publicly since I know I'm not the only bigender person who grew up thinking trans exclusively meant MTF or FTM binary transitions and nothing else. Spoiler: it doesn't. The umbrella is big and it has room 😄

(Check out my intro post, I just updated it :3)

(The gender stuff, I mean)

Pls excuse my grammar, it’s 1am

Since summer was almost starting I’ve started and I haven’t really had stuff distract me, I’m usually on my own, thinking about myself and my future. Something I actually noticed months ago (but didn’t really want to think about), is how I’ve been getting increasingly more uncomfortable or somehow disappointed whenever I’m referred to as a girl/woman/female. Not in the way that I tell them to stop or something. I just nod or don’t say anything at all, cus inoukntI just feel weirdly disconnected to what it usually means or feels like to be a girl.

Also noticed how, whenever I see someone who is genderqueer or trans in some way, I smile and think “Wow they seem so free from this world and embrace how we’re all simply humans and the binary is kinda weird. I wish I knew what that felt like”, totally normal for a totally cis girl. I sometimes wish I was born in an alternate timeline where nobody is gendered, but just all treated like humans. And it wasn’t till I casually mentioned those things to my friend how everyone feels that way and how every girl sometimes wishes she looked like a guy (not just masc, a guy), that I realized these weren’t universal.

I present in a pretty feminine and fun way (plus I love makeup), and feel like myself when I dress like that. But part of the reason I like presenting so femininely is because I like how I look in those silhouettes, etc. (look good, feel good. I’ve improved immensely when it comes to my self esteem). But every single time I try out a more masculine silhouette or styling, and I end up just changing. I know very clearly that gender presentation isn’t reliant on gender identity, but I do in fact want to try out more masculine looks because I honestly get jealous of men and masculine people. But since I feel that I don’t look good and all my physical insecurities are highlighted, I don’t feel good.

I thought “Oh well, I’m just feminine. Even if I was born a man, I would still be feminine in some shape or form”. But I feel like I’m not allowing myself to explore that part of my identity.

There’s also several reasons for why, even if I figure myself out, I wouldn’t come out. Some are career related, others love life related, but I won’t really get into it.