#aspec problems

I don't know anything about pluribus but I decided to watch the first episode and I'm like. hmm it's probably not anything but my brain is going "oh this is touching on some particular aspec problems and themes I've encountered in my own lived experience, wouldn't it be interesting if this show Did That?" no I will not elaborate but somebody else can

It’s not that I’m unlovable, but I never feel lovable enough to be anyone’s first pick, or favorite. Perhaps it’s selfish, but I want to be someone’s first person to go to when they hear good or bad news. I want to lose my inhibitions, emotionally vomit the thoughts I’ve been repressing, and have someone stay and listen and care instead of deciding I’m too much. I’d rather not dwell on if I want something romantic or platonic or in between and the nuances of that, I just know that I want someone that will always ask me to be their plus one- out of genuine want, and not obligation. Someone who will always want to come home to me.

sometimes I don't even want anything done to me. sometimes I just want her to play with my hair and tell me I'm pretty while I touch myself.

I really don’t see fellow aspecs come to the defense of demisexual and demiromantic people enough. more often than not I see them contribute to their ostracization. A lot of the time I see non-demi aspecs hop on the “but is demisexuality/demiromanticism real?” train of thought and it’s harmful. I have lost count of how many ace and aro people I have come across who were unsupportive of demisexual or demiromantic individuals. I shouldn’t have to ask y’all to care about or respect someone in your community. Just because you are aspec that doesn’t mean you understand or have to understand other aspec orientations. You can just respect people and move on.

Pour one out for all the aspec folks who spent their teen years confused why the feelings everyone had told them they were going to have one day just didn’t seem to exist, assuming or even maybe hoping that it would just happen one day and then it never did. Your confusion was valid and I hope you’ve found an identity that makes you happy <3