#grey-asexual

aro & ace books: grey-ace & acespec

either specifically grey-ace, or where they're clearly some sort of ambiguously acespec (but not specifically demi). Ambiguity either from the setting/writing/context, or the character is questioning/unsure.

find grey-aroace/aroacespec books here, and demisexual here

A Letter to the Luminous Deep - sff duology, ace or acespec coded MCs (2/4), m/f

The Hands of the Emperor/At The Feet of the Sun - high fantasy series, greyace/acespec man MC, m/m qpr

After the Dragons - scifi novella, maybe greyace MC (1/2), m/m

Nophek Gloss - scifi trilogy, acespec (maybe arospec) man MC, maybe acespec woman MC

She Who Became The Sun - historical fantasy duology, nonbinary acespec MC (1/2*),

The Unbalancing - high fantasy novella, demi/greyace nonbinary MC (1/2)

Bloody Spade - YA urban fantasy, greyace/acespec girl MC (1/4), m/f

The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester - YA contemporary/paranormal - nonbinary MC 'on the ace spectrum'

Kiss Me Maybe - contemporary romance, explicitly grey-ace lesbian MC, f/f

#aspec books / aspec database / tumblr masterpost

"FEAR ME"

Grey-asexual Gomamon icons ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

@booksandteaonarainydayislife, you had asked “In real life, is it not possible for people to be ace due to trauma? Like, would someone who experienced a traumatic event that made it impossible for them to feel sexual attraction not be considered ace?”

This isn’t a clear yes and no answer, which is why I had to make a new post about it. Also, I would like to say that I had been recently education on this new term I am going to explain from the replies from this post (x), I am no way an expert on this, someone asked for my opinion, and here it is, so if anyone who is more experienced/has this sexuality wants to add on, please do so kindly.

I learned that there is a term called “Caedsexual”, which is described as “ is a micro label on the asexual spectrum which describes an individual who identified as allosexual—or not a part of the asexual spectrum—at one point in their lives, but are now on the asexual spectrum due to past trauma. This label should only be used by those who are survivors of these past experience.” I am not sure how recent this term is, but as there is a term for it, people should start using this if this is what they mean when they headcanon a character as “asexual”, when really they mean caedsexual.

Caedsexual is part of the ace spectrum, but it would still be considered incorrect to refer to someone who identifies as this as simply asexual, in my opinion, because not every asexual person is such because of trauma. For example, I am demisexual, I would say I am on the ace-spectrum, but I am not asexual. As I had talked in the post I linked above, the problem with identifying certain characters as asexual and say that it’s due to trauma is because so often, having experienced it myself, is that have a hard time believing those on the ace-spectrum that we are this way not because of trauma. Many people who are on the ace-spectrum suffer prejudice because people will assume that they are ace because of trauma and will try to convince the aces that they need therapy, that maybe they just need to find the right person and they’ll no longer be ace. Some allo-sexual people feel that somehow there ace-spectrum people are “broken” and need “fixing”, which is not true, but when you get people who misidentify certain characters or people as asexual because of trauma and it fuels the myth that we somehow need to be fixed in order to be “proper humans”, because the notion that sex/romance are not necessary for a happy life is crazy to them. Some people are ace the same way some people are gay, they just are, and people should respect that.

So, if you want to say that Kaz and/or Inej, or any other character in fact, identify as being caedsexual because of trauma, that would be correct, but saying that a character is asexual because of trauma is incorrect and helps to fuel the harmful notion that everyone who falls under the ace-spectrum is there because of trauma. They are not interchangeable and I don’t think people should say someone is asexual when they mean caedsexual. I hope that makes sense, and like I said, I am not a huge expert on caedseuxality, but this is from the observations and thoughts on this whole thing.

I've been doing research, and I identify with some things like not having as much crushes as other people or not finding attractive people that the major part of people I know find attractive.

Right now, I find two friends of mine attractive, with one of them I couldn't have something intimate, cause he doesn't attract me like that. But, with the other person, who is mi QPP (I'm arospec), I could be more intimate with them and I would like it in the future (tho I'm fine with not having nothing sexual and I don't see it as something necessary)

But, some months ago, I had a partner, who I was attracted to at first, but I lost attraction and ended being nothing attracted to him.