Stuff I've Found Online

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

ive been thinking about how some trans spaces and media lack representation of bottom surgery and itd be nice if we could talk about and depict it more. but my attempts to formulate this into a coherent thought lead me to standing in front of the microwave idly thinking "we should normalize men with penises" as if thats a brave new frontier nobody has ever considered.

I cant think anymore

what can i do to help this time

A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO WORK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD WAS ON THE WAY TO WORK?

DONT MAKE ME ANGRIER THAN I AM

"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this

see also: neurotypicals giving what they think are explicit instructions, but they're so vague as to have 7 possible interpretations - and your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to either freeze in the face of the uncertainty (in which case they get angry with you), or choose the one you hope they meant (in which case they get angry with you), or ask for clarification because they were being vague (in which case guess what happens)

I love you guys but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

You’re right. We should all band together under a trustworthy and influential leader who can keep us safe from outside threats

beeen there, done that, do not recommend

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

the-masters-shadow hahahahahahahhaahhahahahaa pffffdf

This is such a beautiful thing

Jesus christ

Ah, man. What a great post. *ties ballsack tightly with a hemp rope* TAKE IT FROM HERE DELORES! *Delores the amazon dressed in tight leather puts on a pair of spiked high heels. She starts stomping the sack* Oh! Ow! Oh god! Fuck yeah in the sack! Thats my sack! Oof! Oh! The sack baby, OHH!

yo what the fuck happened to this post

I’m. I’m not the only one seeing this right. Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this.

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

Women are like diamonds since they are composed primarily of carbon.

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

@animals-with-fan-art

Thank you @quandocoeli what imagination!

give them four more legs to make them a snorse god

i think it's beautiful that cats eat you if you die in your apartment and nobody finds you for a while. i don't know why it's used as anti-kitty cat propaganda as if eating you means they don't love u. if i died and no one found me for a while i would want my kitty cat to eat me bc i love her so much and i don't want her to starve. it's not her fault i'm too dead to give her her fancy feasts. she's going thru something scary ok. i don't know a single cat owner who doesn't feel the same way

mud dragon

That horse is having a great time.

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

happy first day of pride everyone