Post-outing alot of past Ilya lovers come out the woodwork to gossip about him in different magazines (ilya rozanov has bear kink? 2013 hookup spills the deets) and it becomes a thing involving lawyers and cease & desists & ilya isnt freaking out because he’s afraid of gossip but by how Shane is dealing with the rumors so he gently bring it up one morning like “we’re gonna talk about our feelings, please don’t be hiding your hurt from me.” And shane shrugs and sips his morning smoothie and says “i can’t be that mad at them: if i only fucked you once and could never again i think id be acting crazy too.” He won’t ever admit he feels like a kid taunting another with a toy like “hahaha i have the best Russian lover hockey boy toy & you’ll NEVER get to play with him again! He’s mine!”

The most turned on Shane has ever been in a club was when Ilya dragged him out in Boston for old times’ sake with some of the Bears & a girl came up to Ilya talking about what a great night they had together and clearly angling for a repeat and Ilya kind of bemusedly is like sorry I don’t remember that at all and then Shane drags him to the bathrooms and sucks his dick with the stall door not even fully closed

"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about

if you are making a personal purchase for fun and you feel guilty about it always remember at least you are not paying for a gacha game amen

No creativity no innovation no nothing. Just dead minds where a living organ once sat, torn out in pieces by an unfeeling machine in the name of shares.

I've seen at least five posts that have given Ilya a garishly orange car and I love it because it's just objectively correct. That man is driving around Ottawa in a car so offensively orange Shane refuses to look at it without sunglasses on.

Directions unclear, large squash stuck in colon.

Big fan of the idea that centaurs Shane and Ilya are a devastating duo when it comes to chirping players they don’t like. Some homophobe from Toronto says their marriage isn’t real, so Shane gives a scathing review of faults the player didn’t even know he had, while Ilya is like this is why your wife left you and you can only see your kids every other weekend and some holidays. Bet last Christmas was lonely, huh? The rest of the centaurs are like ???? how tf do you even know that??? Troy Barrett sheds a single tear of joy knowing that he never has to play against them again. Next time they play Toronto that player won’t look them in the eye.

Out of all the heated rivalry analysis I’ve seen I’ve never seen someone mention that after the all star game Shane no longer drafts and deletes texts. He says what he intends to say the first time and stops editing and second guessing himself and it’s one of my favorite details showing that their dynamic has changed and no one talks about it

shane is really good at poker that it’s like a thing where every off the books team bonding hang they play poker and the metros are always in awe at how shane wins every time and word gets around the nhl players and eventually when shane gets to the centaurs and he’s well settled in and happy with his husband they have a team bonding and it gets brought up about the rumour of hollzy being a shark at poker and so they all start playing and ilya doesn’t play but watches and loves the confidence and careful but cocky attitude of shane and insert image into your brain of drunk centaur players perched around a table with captain ilya rozanov sitting in shane hollanders lap and shane has his arms around ilyas waist with both hands clutching his cards and he’s relaxed and looks like a fucking mobster king with his trophy wife husband sitting on his lap as he bets his rolex without a second thought

if another FUCKING person mentions the fucking werewolves from twilight I'm going to burn this whole site down and take you all with me