belles-lettres

I had a dream about getting stuck in an elevator 4 times in a row and I work in a place with an elevator that I avoided until I realized that was stupid and took the damn thing and you'll never guess what happened when I reached my floor

a lot of boobie artists are really not very good at drawing how breasts actually lay when one is bare chested so it always looks like their nudie gals are wearing invisible bras. FAKE FANS!

was waiting for the elevator in the middle of taking out all the trash and a resident came out of her apartment like OH GOOD! maybe i can show you this weird bug that was in my BEDROOM! so i follow her and she gets out a magnifying glass and shows me a dead pillbug on a napkin. im like thats incredible ma'am thank you for letting me use the magnifying glass. she says "i told my creepy kids about the bug and they didn't even call me!" and this sentence is tunneling into my brain so bad theres a physical pressure

*holds your hand* OUR doomed narrative now

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

I’m releasing The Most Beautiful Woman You’ve Ever Seen into your enclosure, please be on the lookout for her in the next few days

should be illegal for someone to start typing to u and never send it. what were u gonna say. come back. I miss u.

I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)

True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

it has always been a dream of mine to relax

it’s just not possible

huh. i am both wound and blade. neat.

@diseases-for-center-control

my aura too cunt My blog too suicidal my fit too mid My bitch hate me