But I am participating anyway.

The response to even a hint of it being a very Murderbot-esque “Ugh. That’s disgusting. Why would you even do that!”

To which I reply, it’s Martha Wells’ fault.

For canon Gurathin having a secret crush/pash on Murderbot? Well, duh? All of All Systems Red. As Volescu says:

“Gurathin, you wanted to know how it spends its time.”

This is a SecUnit, this is like Gurathin wanting to know how a roomba spends its time.

Once the helmet is gone, what happens?

As Murderbot puts it:

“You don’t need to look at me. I’m not a sexbot.”

The two of them spend the rest of the book mostly *not looking at each other* and having stupidly intense conversations.

I mean, I’m not saying Martha Wells did this on purpose: but if she had she couldn’t really have done it any better.

Then, I’ve got to say the whole reunion in Exit Strategy with Murderbot being all “Gurathin’s expression I interpreted as appalled. I still don’t like you, either.”

Then Gurathin just asks where it went, what it did...and it makes a whole little video montage of its adventures in impersonating an augmented human and sends it to the augmented human which it obviously doesn’t like. Because, yeah! Right, that’s what you do...

Look up- 👆-Murderathin was once THAT SHIP!

And now:

Things can change—don’t lose hope!

From chapter 20, Network Effect.

…and find some different clothes!

The inside of my brain now specifically:

do you think about how amena, sofi, and the others will someday be full adults? and mensah and the rest of team presaux will be gone? and murderbot will be surrounded by humans who have loved and cherished it seemingly their whole lives? how it'll be surrounded by humans, both in mensah's family and across preservation and the university in general, who don't remember what life was like before their first encounter with a secunit?

do you think about how someday some of these adults who love it will have their own children? and it will see that first gross little bundle of human offspring and be shocked by the size and frailty? it'll resist offers to hold the baby for fear of hurting something so small and frail (and also some other fear it can't name) (and also: gross). but eventually... something will happen and it will oblige and hold a baby for the first time in its whole existence while the parents run around dealing with whatever emergency. and it'll be absolutely rooted to the spot, thinking about how the baby is actually a bit heavier than it had guessed, thinking about how there isn't even any ROOM for bones in such a small body, thinking about how the baby looks doubtful and a little scared of it. until one of the human adults sweeps by and recommends that it smile and coo at the baby. well, it's not sure about "cooing" but it does get woken from its fearful stupor and hurriedly ups its body temperature, softly bounces the baby like it had seen humans do, and smiles — nervously, but it counts. and the baby... melts. the small little mouth and brows and eyes all slip into a delighted chubby-cheeked smile, still looking up into its eyes. and murderbot thinks, okay, maybe i'll try cooing. do you think about that?

do you think about how someday amena and sofi and the others will be known as nannas and grandpersons themselves, and murderbot will still be beset by children who want to watch shows with it and curl up against its chest when they're sad or hurt? and how sofi can still be found napping on its shoulder, though now she has more wrinkles on her face than naja ever had? and how amena's still bothering it for details about its relationships, anxious to see it loved and cared for after she and her siblings are gone?

do you think about how someday murderbot and its creaky old joints and worn ports are only still functioning because of a dedicated team of university researchers who'd put in thousands of hours into determining how to not let living construct consciousnesses become trapped in failing bodies and developed a protocol for training future researchers in proper construct geriatric care? and can you picture how it will have a few dozen children gathered around it at a cultural festival — their families camping in and around the ancestral home, together once again for the holiday — all those tiny voices clamoring to once more hear the story of how it and their great great great great greatnan amena defeated the aliens and saved the colonists, and could they pretty pretty please meet ART the next time it docks at preservation station?

SO THIS SEC-UNIT IS HAVING THE WEIRDEST DAY AND ALSO DOESN'T KNOW IT JUST MET GOD

MB: "Pls don't get my clients killed!!!!"

SU: "Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Murderbot 2.0?"

MB: "You mean MY OFFSPRING?"

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your latest fanfics (or less if you have fewer) and then tag others.

Sleep Mode: When we first left the torus, I was watching the scanners, alert to any pursuit.

Fever: So I found out that I can turn my body temperature up, but I can't turn it down.

Honeymoon: I'd been looking forward to the cargo run with ART because dealing with the humans was even more exhausting after the whole fever incident.

Reproduction: My first voyage on ART that included non-crew students ended with a party.

A Day to Forget: So, we'd wrapped up our mission on the planet.

Rogue Rumors: "Reading between the lines, they're saying a rogue SecUnit escaped from Port FreeCommerce," says Nefret.

Security Threat: Santa Claus: ART got bored one day and decided to sort through my media library.

It Has Been 01 Missions Since SecUnit Ended up in Medical: Status, ART demanded as we ran toward the shuttle.

Monsters: We were 91% certain before setting foot on the planet that all of the colonists were dead.

Fairest of Them All: Once there was a wealthy and powerful man known as Lord Terrence, and he had a magic mirror.

Bricks in the Wall, chapter 141 (it's a collection of Heroes one-shots, started well before I understood how 'series' worked on AO3): Peter surveyed the bed – empty at the moment. The sound of running water in the bathroom let him know that Sylar was cleaning up to an unusual degree.

Agonal Stage: The human died in my arms. At first, the slackening of the muscles might have been unconsciousness (understandable, given the lacerations and punctures Hostile One had inflicted on her before I'd managed to extract her from its mouth).

Agape: I think I was in love with humans. Like Charleh said, it was the only explanation.

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts: Amena paused in munching the nuts that topped her breakfast of uji. Her interface was showing her an alarming notification for the weather forecast on the west coast of the southern continent.

A Weird, Fucked Up Way: My proximity and attention were required for this. My participation aside from that was not.

First Impressions: I was wadded up in the usual transport box when I woke for my new assignment. I was supposed to immediately reference the client list, project scope, location, and that sort of thing.

The Expected Order: The Target snarls at my Client, "Tell it to shut down or I blow your brains out!" I run some quick calculations.

Bodyswapped: I woke in a flesh prison, memory limited, no media storage. I hurt all over and my pain control didn’t even exist.

You Construct Intricate Rituals: I sat on his thighs, my lower leg tucked under his ankles. He floundered on the bed, or would have if he could.

Knot Today: The thing about a knot is that it depends on the omega to hold the fucker in there. An alpha might think they’re hot stuff, knot so big that no amount of struggle on the omega’s part would allow escape from the breeding.

1. Linguistics

ART and I had been watching Sanctuary Moon together in our shared space.

2. At it like cats and dogs

Gurathin had been concentrating on some data analysis, deep in the feed with all but critical alerts muted.

3. Trust Fall

The feed message slammed into his augments, the Perihelion had exited the wormhole and he was required in its surgical suite immediately.

4. Voyeur

As they walked into the cabin he resisted the temptation to relax his stance.

5. Face. Paint.

When Gurathin had heard SecUnit would be coming to the harvest celebration his first thought had been to make excuses to be somewhere else.

6. Make. Up.

My latest solo mission with ART had been concluded way quicker than anyone had expected.

7. Hanahaki

Fucking Gurathin.

8. All Systems Sunnydale

“SecUnit!” Gurathin was horrified that the situation was going to get away from him and people (if the creature in the leather coat was actually a person, the jury was definitely still out there) were going to get needlessly hurt.

9. Three Weddings and a Finale

I hate having emotions. 

10. Foreign. Object.

Fuck.

WHY was she surprised i do NOT understand lmfao; and! also! i am DEAD curious about who/what B-E was expecting to arrive, and how, and what their intel was, and how they'd gotten it bc i doubt janity would've known all THAT. would she?

Consider—Leonide may have researched the PresAux situation, could she have discovered that Preservation had a defection from the CR several years ago, an augmented human who was present when the initial GrayCris shitshow went down, and was also there for Mensah’s extraction on TranRollinHyfa

Leonide may still maintain an engrained belief that SecUnits are not capable of independent actions —propaganda is powerful!

Leonide is augmented—who would she send to extract her family? If she happened to have an ex-CR individual around with experience of extraction?

Would Leonide’s prejudices lead her to expect not a SecUnit but an augmented human?

Was she expecting Gurathin?

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your latest fanfics (or less if you have fewer) and then tag others.

Sleep Mode: When we first left the torus, I was watching the scanners, alert to any pursuit.

Fever: So I found out that I can turn my body temperature up, but I can't turn it down.

Honeymoon: I'd been looking forward to the cargo run with ART because dealing with the humans was even more exhausting after the whole fever incident.

Reproduction: My first voyage on ART that included non-crew students ended with a party.

A Day to Forget: So, we'd wrapped up our mission on the planet.

Rogue Rumors: "Reading between the lines, they're saying a rogue SecUnit escaped from Port FreeCommerce," says Nefret.

Security Threat: Santa Claus: ART got bored one day and decided to sort through my media library.

It Has Been 01 Missions Since SecUnit Ended up in Medical: Status, ART demanded as we ran toward the shuttle.

Monsters: We were 91% certain before setting foot on the planet that all of the colonists were dead.

Fairest of Them All: Once there was a wealthy and powerful man known as Lord Terrence, and he had a magic mirror.

Bricks in the Wall, chapter 141 (it's a collection of Heroes one-shots, started well before I understood how 'series' worked on AO3): Peter surveyed the bed – empty at the moment. The sound of running water in the bathroom let him know that Sylar was cleaning up to an unusual degree.

Agonal Stage: The human died in my arms. At first, the slackening of the muscles might have been unconsciousness (understandable, given the lacerations and punctures Hostile One had inflicted on her before I'd managed to extract her from its mouth).

Agape: I think I was in love with humans. Like Charleh said, it was the only explanation.

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts: Amena paused in munching the nuts that topped her breakfast of uji. Her interface was showing her an alarming notification for the weather forecast on the west coast of the southern continent.

A Weird, Fucked Up Way: My proximity and attention were required for this. My participation aside from that was not.

First Impressions: I was wadded up in the usual transport box when I woke for my new assignment. I was supposed to immediately reference the client list, project scope, location, and that sort of thing.

The Expected Order: The Target snarls at my Client, "Tell it to shut down or I blow your brains out!" I run some quick calculations.

Bodyswapped: I woke in a flesh prison, memory limited, no media storage. I hurt all over and my pain control didn’t even exist.

You Construct Intricate Rituals: I sat on his thighs, my lower leg tucked under his ankles. He floundered on the bed, or would have if he could.

Knot Today: The thing about a knot is that it depends on the omega to hold the fucker in there. An alpha might think they’re hot stuff, knot so big that no amount of struggle on the omega’s part would allow escape from the breeding.

1. Linguistics

ART and I had been watching Sanctuary Moon together in our shared space.

2. At it like cats and dogs

Gurathin had been concentrating on some data analysis, deep in the feed with all but critical alerts muted.

3. Trust Fall

The feed message slammed into his augments, the Perihelion had exited the wormhole and he was required in its surgical suite immediately.

4. Voyeur

As they walked into the cabin he resisted the temptation to relax his stance.

5. Face. Paint.

When Gurathin had heard SecUnit would be coming to the harvest celebration his first thought had been to make excuses to be somewhere else.

6. Make. Up.

My latest solo mission with ART had been concluded way quicker than anyone had expected.

7. Hanahaki

Fucking Gurathin.

8. All Systems Sunnydale

“SecUnit!” Gurathin was horrified that the situation was going to get away from him and people (if the creature in the leather coat was actually a person, the jury was definitely still out there) were going to get needlessly hurt.

9. Three Weddings and a Finale

I hate having emotions. 

10. Foreign. Object.

Fuck.

I've been wanting to ask you something for days, but work hasn't let me. But it's Saturday, so...

What did you think of this week's Grave Conversations?

Honestly, I personally loved it. It was incredibly moving to watch, listen to, and feel. I cried a lot during the entire interview.

I can only say that one thing I admire most about David is that he's an excellent father. As some of you know, I have a daughter, and I'm so touched by how much he loves his children. God... DAVID IS INCREDIBLE, and it reaffirms that I admire the right person.

I'd love to hear your thoughts... Tell me what you think! 🖤

Have a wonderful weekend!

I laughed

I cried

I, maybe, learnt a little about myself