I cannot produce the words to describe how deeply I am disgusted by the way a lot of people talk about being nonbinary as a temporary stepping stone to becoming "full-trans."
It's "he says he's bisexual, which is what people say six months before they come out as gay" all over again.
This is obviously made messy ā in the way that bi discourse is messy ā by the fact that for some people non-binary identity IS a step in a transition journey, or a self-discovery journey, and that's absolutely OK. People can (and should!) experiment to understand themselves. Identity is fluid and can shift as you change or as you understand yourself better. Non-binary identity absolutely can be this for someone, in much the same way bisexuality can, and personally I think that's awesome. We shouldn't act like these things are immutable and like someone changing naturally is somehow an ethical crime.
However.
The problem is when people start to think of non-binary and bisexual identity as ONLY a stepping stone or ONLY a phase. And then inflicting that on people by talking or joking about these identities bring a stepping stone. Ironically, for those who actually are in a state of change, this can make them ignore the change that's happening for them, because they keep being accused of their identity being a phase and they don't want to reinforce that narrative.
It's stupid and complicated and at the core of everything, people shouldn't tell other people what they are and what they can be.
That's it.
Let people be enby for life. Let people flow from enby to binary trans. Let them invent new things to be.
