CertifiedSexEDposts

No, I am not a doctor or a therapist, nor do I have a certificate. Just training (unfinished due to disabilities) and experience.

Minors, DMs (I will rarely respond to those though, sorry!), asks and @'s are 100% welcome, just keep in mind I do not tolerate hate speech. If you want me to answer your ask privately, just add it to your ask! Check out my Before You Ask Post (before you ask!)

Also, I have a No Stupid Questions Rule, ask whatever the fuck you want, no matter how obvious it seems.

(If your question is "genital specific" or you think it might be, please do not tell me you're "AFAB/AMAB" and assume that tells me your genitals. It does not!)

If I ever reblog anything that seems bigoted or by someone bigoted, feel free to let me know (with some explanation, please!)

For those who need them, some of my tags are:

#sex education <- all sex ed in general.

#sex tips <- tips specifically on having sex!

#asexual education <- education on asexuality!

#aromantic education <- education on aromantism!

#trans education <- education on trans-related things!

#intersex education <- education on intersex-related things!

#hormone education <- education on hormones/HRT

#sex work education <- education on sex work!

#kink education <- education on kink!

#consent 101 <- education on consent!

#disability education <- education on disability-specific sex ED!

No apologies needed! I have a No Stupid Questions rule, which means No Questions Are Stupid and Even If They Were, I Do Not Care.

Well, a common way of having sex without touching each other is sexting/phone sex! You can also masturbate beside someone without touching each other and that's still sex!

As for having sex without touching your genitals, you can grind against someone without touching your genitals, you can muff without touching your genitals, you can touch someone else without touching your own genitals, there are honestly a lot of options. Some can even orgasm without touching their own or someone else's genitals!

The point of sex is not touching genitals; the point of sex actually differs from person to person and time to time!

Sometimes, someone has sex just because they're horny. Other times, it's because they want to experience sexual pleasure with someone specific. Sometimes it's because they're lonely. Other times it's just because they want to touch someone! There are at least as many different "points" as there are people.

Sex can revolve around sexual pleasure but your genitals aren't the only way to experience that. In fact, for some people, it can be the hardest way to experience that! So it's always a good idea to think outside the box and keep in mind there are a lot of options out there.

I’m a queer woman in my early 50s. Last year I started dating a lesbian woman in her early 40s. We are both AFAB with vulvas. She still has periods and I’m post-menopause, if that’s relevant.

The attraction and chemistry between us is absolutely off the charts—the most intense that either of us has ever had.

For the first few weeks we were dating, and occasionally since then, I had a strange experience. Every time we saw each other and made out (fully clothed with no genital contact), I had a lingering taste in the back of my mouth/throat for hours afterward. It’s not unpleasant at all, just tangy and slightly bitter.

This also happens sometimes when we’re not together, and I’m just thinking of her and very aroused.

To be clear, this isn’t the taste of her mouth, and I’m not concerned about germs or infection. We’ve both been tested for STIs and have none.

We didn’t have sex for the first few months. The first time I gave her oral sex, I realized that the taste of her was what I’d been tasting in the back of my mouth since I met her.

Is it possible that there’s some kind of literal chemistry that’s causing this? Maybe my body senses her hormones or pheromones, and it causes a hormonal shift in me that makes my saliva taste different afterwards?

Again, I often have this taste in my mouth without any genital contact, and even when I haven’t seen her for days.

I thought I knew a lot about sex, but I’ve never heard of this phenomenon!

Thank you again. And a PSA to younger people reading this: Perimenopause and menopause don’t automatically equal a loss of sex drive or enjoyment. I’m having the best sex of my life and it just gets better. I hope it’s the same for you. 🥰

Hi! Thank you so much, that's very kind. Thank you for trusting me to answer. 💚💚

(Let me start by clarifying; no, neither of your AGAB is relevant here! It's very rare for that to be relevant, ngl. You don't have to share that.)

So, I will admit, this isn't a familiar phenomenon to me! But I do have a suspicion this is related to menopause specifically.

Menopause can cause altered taste buds and/or even tasting things when you don't have anything in your mouth! It's related to hormonal shifts in particular. It can also continue or be triggered even when you're post-menopause.

I can't guarantee it obviously but especially since you've ruled out so many other things, that would be my first assumption. It's just a guess though. It sounds cool as fuck, tbh. Like, good for y'all! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourselves especially.

Also, you're very welcome! I wish I could give you a more definitive answer but I don't really know! I guess we both still have more to learn lmao 😂. Congrats on your girlfriend and good luck! 💞

I apologized to my gf and we tried some new stuff in bed, I really had to hype myself up to do it but seeing how happy she is to finally get that kind of attention totally makes it worth it. And seeing how much more fun she has when she doesn’t feel like she has to walk on eggshells around my feelings makes me feel bad that I hadn’t done it for her before, but also really relieved and glad that it’s better now. It’s not easy for me to be so far out of my comfort zone, but it’s also a bit exciting to try stuff out and see what works and all that really matters to me is that she’s happier.

I really appreciate you sharing the article because it was a good resource for me and really helped me understand what I was doing wrong. Also I’m sorry about the first ask I sent because I’m pretty sure now that I said some weird and transphobic things in it so I’m really sorry about that.

If you’ve got more advice for me I would totally appreciate that, I’m trying my best but I’ve never been the brightest and it’s probably obvious that I’m a bit ignorant about this subject haha. I’ve been researching on my own but it’s kind of hard to find good info on this subject, and I want to be a good partner. Thanks so much 🙏

Ah, that's so funny, I was getting through your original ask but I'm so glad to hear that article in particular was helpful for you! I was working through several articles to link you and that one hadn't occurred to me but it makes sense it'd be helpful.

I'm NGL, I wasn't looking forward to posting your ask; you did say some ignorant ass shit and I was feeling bad for your girlfriend! But I was going to answer it anyway, specifically because I thought you did actually want an answer and were willing to make a change, so to hear that you're already changing and learning shit is awesome.

Let me start by linking you a treasured classic: The Fucking Trans Women zine, by Mira Bellwether. It's not a perfect guide; in fact, part of the point of it is that you should be creating your sex life with your girlfriend and both of your interests/preferences, not just preconceived notions of what your sex life should look like. So keep that in mind!

I think you should also check out Girl Sex 101, by Allison Moon. A lot of it is about lesbian sex in particular but if you love girls (or your girlfriend in particular!), I think it'll be very helpful. Some of it's a little dated but its written with trans women also firmly included and some of it might be right up y'alls alley.

This is an okay article with just some basics, this is an article on having sex with gender dysphoria (even if your girlfriend isn't struggling with it right now, its good to have on hand and with things to keep in mind!), this is a great article with more resources on having sex with trans women as well!

I also think you'd benefit from learning more about transmisogyny. Your girlfriend experiences transphobia, sure, but she also experiences transmisogyny because she's transfem, which is going to be very important to learn about if you want to be a good partner. (And just a good ally to transfems in general!)

Frankly, Whipping Girl by Julia Serano (it's a short book and worth reading) would be a good start. It's on the internet archive just like Fucking Trans Women and Girl Sex 101. But there are also a number of good transfeminists on here to learn from too.

I think your willingness to accept your own bigotry and try to do better is a great sign for y'all, Anon. I'm proud of you and it makes me really happy.

Well, to be clear, if you did ask me for porn to masturbate to, I don't really care. I just wouldn't really be able to help.

In the case of muffing, of course, since it's considered rather obscure, it makes sense you're struggling to find visuals of actual people. Especially since it's more common specifically with transfems, who are heavily targeted and censored even in nonsexual contexts online.

There are drawn diagrams I've seen, as well as a little demonstrative porn but it sounds like that's specifically not what you're looking for. If you are, feel free to let me know though.

To me, it sounds more like you're looking for something like Muffing 101, penetration for trans women (by Kink University), which was filmed like 9 years ago or something? That would probably be really helpful if you looked it up specifically. 🤔

Does vaginal/penile fluid have any kind of nutricional value?

I mean, semen has some kind of carbohydrate (?) To keep sperm alive, right? So wouldn't that mean it has a (although small) nutricional value?

ID: A drawing of the autism creature, a white four legged creature with a round head and big black eyes, staring at some sticky notes, a book and a laptop. Text above reads: "stumdy hard" End ID.

LMAO, sure, why not! (Not sure if that's your drawing or what but its very cute btw.)

They have calories and some nutrients! A low level, to be clear, so not enough I'd recommend sucking someone off to survive on a deserted island but enough it's relevant!