CertifiedSexEDposts

No, I am not a doctor or a therapist, nor do I have a certificate. Just training (unfinished due to disabilities) and experience.

Minors, DMs (I will rarely respond to those though, sorry!), asks and @'s are 100% welcome, just keep in mind I do not tolerate hate speech. If you want me to answer your ask privately, just add it to your ask! Check out my Before You Ask Post (before you ask!)

Also, I have a No Stupid Questions Rule, ask whatever the fuck you want, no matter how obvious it seems.

(If your question is "genital specific" or you think it might be, please do not tell me you're "AFAB/AMAB" and assume that tells me your genitals. It does not!)

If I ever reblog anything that seems bigoted or by someone bigoted, feel free to let me know (with some explanation, please!)

For those who need them, some of my tags are:

#sex education <- all sex ed in general.

#sex tips <- tips specifically on having sex!

#asexual education <- education on asexuality!

#aromantic education <- education on aromantism!

#trans education <- education on trans-related things!

#intersex education <- education on intersex-related things!

#hormone education <- education on hormones/HRT

#sex work education <- education on sex work!

#kink education <- education on kink!

#consent 101 <- education on consent!

#disability education <- education on disability-specific sex ED!

when i was 18-19, i had a boyfriend who saw a little dangly bit of skin?? bigger than a skintag, about half the size of a pinky finger that hung out of my vagina. he made a big deal about “is that normal????” and i was like “i think so???” and he never brought it up again. no gynecologist ive ever seen has brought it up to me at all

now im 22 and thinking about it again bc it just showed up for the first time in a while? it doesn’t feel sensitive in terms of hurting and when i squish/tug on it it just kinda feels like extra skin. i’ve never been able to contort myself to be able to see it when i look in a mirror so idk where exactly it’s coming from.

is that anything to be concerned about? if it doesn’t hurt, impeded sex or urination, or otherwise bother me, should i bother seeing a gyno about it?

Yeah, that sounds like your hymen!

The hymen is literally just some extra tissue around/in the vaginal entrance! It sometimes catches depending on how it forms when trying to put in tampons and sometimes its visible, sometimes its not.

You really don't have to see a gyno about it unless it's causing you pain or something like that. What you're describing are all very common hymen things!

Sorry for the insta link I'd send you the link to the store generally but I think they're dropshippers. I've seen this design before.

If i remember correctly, the alarm clock part actually functions as an alarm clock! I love multipurpose things

If i can find the original store, I'll send it

Addition: "https://www.beyourlover.com/clock

I found the original store!!! I'm here again, I'm the alarm clock anon.

Anyway the og insta page has a TON of cute designs from varying shops and I think be your lover is just one of them.

But be your lover on its own also has fun ones

Either way, check them out!!! Super cute designs"

I forgot to answer this, Anon, but I love this! The insta link doesn't work but the store totally does have some really cute designs! And the motorcycle handle fleshlight is funny and cool as fuck, thank you for gifting me with that image. 🫡😂

I'm going to have to check them out further when I don't have a migraine, ngl. 💞 I love the creativity. And!!! Since you recommended me something, I feel like I get to rec something back?? 🤗

So check out a store with a very different vibe here, ey? This one in particular is really funny to me because most of the products are extremely detailed and this one is 💀 not lmao.

i just remembered that when i was 14 my mother showed me several sex toys that her and my other parent had used before (they were cleaned but like it wasnt a secret why she had them). my question is, is this sexual harassment of a minor? because like i think most people would think its innappropriate for a kid to like see and touch the sex toys their parents used. But on the other hand i dont remember being uncomfortable or anything? as bonus context my mum talked to me about her sex life often and she also bought me a viberator shortly after that conversation (it was free with her sex toy order). idk its just hard to tell what any of that means without an external perspective.

thank you for everything you do - star

Hi! Thank you, I appreciate that.

Well, if you asked her not to do that and she continued showing you sex toys, explaining how they're used and how she uses them specifically, those are ways it could definitely be sexual harassment! But her just showing them to you and/or explaining how they work isn't.

Presumably, they were clean and it was for education! It's good to show your child that, hey, people have sex and these are some tools/toys they might use!

The part about them being your parents toys, sure, some people might find that icky but that doesn't mean its bad. This was your education, not theirs; if you were chill with that and the toys were clean, there's nothing wrong with her using what she had on hand.

As for the talking about her sex life, it really depends on the context of that! It could be positive and occasionally educational or it could not be, it really depends on the scenario. It could also have been positive and occasionally educational and sometimes not appropriate, sometimes people fuck up.

As for the vibrator, that's dope. Giving your kid a relatively safe and positive outlet for their sexuality if they want and knowledge they're allowed to be sexual in their own home is great!

It is totally hard to look at things you've grown up with from an outside/more neutral perspective, I get that. I hope this helps a bit, just to clarify!

I just dont know what to do with it now that its in my head alot

Well, I can say that it is generally a type of sexual assault for others to strip you without your consent, so if that's what happened; yes, that's CoCSA. It's also CoCSA if the poking involved contact with your genitals or anything like that without your permission.

Unless that was something you decided to do together (without them pressuring you, which sounds very hard given they shut you in a room), that sounds like CoCSA to me as well!

Sexual assault is not always obviously dramatic. You're not always going to exactly remember it either, especially if a significant amount of time has passed!

I've had many things happen to me that didn't seem dramatic in the moment that I look back and realize were bad. I also experienced a type of CoCSA that a lot probably wouldn't consider dramatic and I don't remember it well. That doesn't mean it didn't happen or didn't affect me!

You don't have to do anything with it, necessarily. Talking about it (including in therapy) can be a helpful way for processing things like that, which it sounds like you've started on. Writing and different types of art can be helpful too, especially if its bothering you.

So can just being able to acknowledge that hey, that shouldn't have happened. It's very unlikely you're just making it up, Anon and it's okay to go, "Hey, this shitty thing happened and its kinda bothering me, looking back on it."

You don't have to be 100% sure or completely decided on how you feel about it.

like some ppl are legit going 'my grandma still watches the movies too! maybe he's just unaware! do you want people like my grandma to die?'

Hi! Thanks for sticking with me for so long and trusting me when your question!

I wouldn't necessarily say worried. It kinda depends on how severe it is. But I'd definitely make a note of it so that, when you have the option, you can talk to your doctor about it because that can be a common sign of something like endometriosis.

They also might be able to recommend something for pain relief, if you need it.

i was wondering if it would be possible to hear your input on something i went through recently? i dont really know what to call it

so im 15 and active in eating disorder spaces on a few social medias and one day i got a dm from this guy. he was an adult (cant know for sure since, its the internet, but yeah) anyways he would ask for pictures of my body fully nude or without my bra on or whatever, saying he wanted to see my full fat distribution or something. when i sent them hed give me all these completely and say all these suggestive things and if i tried to refuse he’d outright say no or call me a tease or something. he even suggested i hurt myself on camera for him but that never actually happened

the whole time we were in this sort of relationship i was genuinely terrified 24/7 to the point where i was making myself physically sick from stress, and then one day he dissappeared and somehow ive been craving our relationship all the time?

i dont know what to call this since i like did send everything he asked and really didnt communicate that i was uncomfortable ever.

yeah sorry this is long and sort of uncomfortable but i cant speak about it anywhere else and im just confused

Hello! Absolutely, I don't mind.

So, first: that's CSA, or child sexual abuse. Adults requesting nude photos of you are automatically committing sexual abuse, even if they are not explicitly saying that they're for sexual purposes.

They're asking you to give them what 100% counts as CSEM, or child sexual exploitive material (which is sometimes called 'child porn', though that's not really considered the correct term) and preying on your eating disorder and probably the knowledge that you're not doing well mentally to do so.

You weren't "making yourself" sick from stress: you were sick from stress, Anon. He was making you sick from stress, on top of you already struggling.

You shouldn't have to communicate, as a child, that you don't want to do sexual things with an adult. And, to be clear, you did communicate! You said no to things and he coerced you into doing them through sexual harassment!

Pushing you into things you said no to and flirting with you over evidence of your eating disorder is coercive and sexual harassment.

It truly doesn't matter whether you sent him the photos or didn't say "no" the perfect way: he had the responsibility in that situation not to do all of that and he did. That was wrong and not your fault.

It makes sense you feel strange and like you want him back. He took advantage of your eating disorder to sexually abuse you and try to make himself firmly part of your life.

Just because he's gone doesn't mean it automatically erases all the abuse he did to you; that's something that I'm afraid you're still going to have to work through and I'm so sorry about all of it. 🫂💞

Hello!

Well, to start, I'm sorry you've been dealing with pushy people like that! You shouldn't have to explain or be coerced into sex just because other people don't understand why you don't enjoy something. 🫂

That's awful and, to be clear, being pressured/coerced into sex (including oral sex) is sexual assault.

As for dealing with people like that, honestly, I would start by stating that you don't like oral sex and if they don't respect that, you'll just leave. It won't deter everyone but it will definitely deter some people, especially if you put it into action if they try to convince you.

You do not owe these fuckers anything. Saying no to something is not an offer for them to try and "change your mind" or whatever the fuck; that is coercion and a completely inappropriate response.

You deserve better than anyone who is going to try and coerce you into shit. You can leave, Anon. Sometimes the "least amount of fuss" is simply going to be hitting the bricks! Book it! If you can leave, do it!

If getting people to respect your basic boundaries "ruins the mood", those are not people even remotely safe to have sex with.

(Obviously, I'd also make sure you have access to something like pepper spray or a weapon, just in case, but that's actually a general tip, not just in this scenario.)

If you meet people online, you can also straight that upfront as well and block anyone who tries to convince you.

Its not a guaranteed fix because people who don't respect your consent will still try shit, unfortunately, but being upfront and threatening to leave will work with some people.