Radical and Mathematical

You only have to look at how many footballers who have rape accusations against them that happily represent their countries in huge tournaments like the World Cup without anyone really giving a shit to see what bollocks that is.

Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal), Achraf Hakimi (Morocco), Thomas Partey (Ghana), Gonzalo Montiel (Argentina), Thiago Almada (Argentina), Junya Ito (Japan), Kaishu Sano (Japan), Ryan Mendes (Cabo Verde).

is wanting to be a wife and mother a requirement for being a woman?

why might OP be annoyed with replies assuming that this post is about being aroace or transmasc if a woman doesn’t want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to sexuality and romantic interest that might make a woman not want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to gender identity and expression that might make a woman not want to be a wife and mother?

core concept: what is gender essentialism?

is it gender essentialism to imply that all women inherently want to be wives and mothers? could this be what OP is critiquing?

look at the notes OP responds to. is it gender essentialism to imply that being a wife and mother is so affixed to womanhood that to not want to be those things means you’re incapable of sexual/romantic feelings, or not a woman?

“Is it gay or is it misogynistic?”

They don’t understand.

I explain that often times women and girls are excluded from stories in favor of a predominantly male cast because the author doesn’t value female narrative contributions nor considers them worthy of character development in their own rights independent of the men, so the result isn’t uplifting male relationships with romantic intentions, but simply sexist writing in its most basic form.

They assure me it’s a good story.

Look inside.

*if comfortable doing so, you may include your age range/generation in the tags for helpful demographic data

It goes like this:

Women being trafficked and forced into prostitution is an atrocity and should be stopped - at this point everyone is still in agreement.

What happens to them is rape - everyone pretty much agrees with this still.

And then: If there are EXTREMELY OBVIOUS warning signs that the prostitute in question is likely a victim of trafficking*, every single john who had sex with her anyway should be prosecuted for rape.

So many people froth at the mouth at the mere suggestion. They get furious if you suggest that this should be the law. But I think nothing could be more reasonable. Trafficking and forced prostitution flourishes because "normal" johns do not care if the prostitute they are paying is there voluntarily. They do not have to care (unless, maybe, if she is underage). Nothing will happen to him.

I say: Make johns deathly afraid of a prostitute possibly being trafficked. I want it to ruin lives to rape a woman who is clearly being forced to prostitute herself.

But no, apparently that's a horrible and hateful stance to have.

When men meme about protecting Latino men, they meme about protecting their buddies, the guys. They meme about them being equal, being human

I feel like anything I'd read, including a great many medical sources, feminist sources, and the actual instructions given with the medication, didn't prepare me at all for what to expect, and in fact, I feel like it was minimized by a lot. I went into it expecting "extra rough period cramp" type of pain. Several articles (and the advice given by with the meds) advised to put on a comfort show and have some food that I enjoy; take some over the counter pain meds. It was easily the worst pain I've felt in my life. I had an abdominal surgery a few months ago, I've broken a few bones, I cut the tip of my finger off last year, and none of these, even a teensy bit, compared to the mildest pain I experienced during my abortion.

I was completely blindsided. I almost caved and asked to be taken to the hospital, because NOTHING I had read had described anything even close to how bad the pain was. It came in waves, and there would be thirty to forty minute intervals where I couldn't even speak if I wanted to. I curled into a ball and just laid there. I won't lie and say it wasn't traumatic.

My first thought, tbh, was "holy shit, is this what other women's period cramps feel like? Have I just been lucky this whole time?" But a while back, when I still used TikTok, I came across an abortion joke video, and a ton of women in the comments were discussing how painful it was, and how they weren't prepared for it properly because they'd been told to expect much milder pain.

It was about a 9 hour process, for me, and as soon as the pain waned, I was out like a light. I had no residual symptoms the next day, thankfully, but during it I was almost positive that something had to be going wrong, because I hadn't seen anyone anywhere mentioning that it could hurt that bad.

My partner gets flashbacks to it sometimes because I locked my bathroom door behind me when I bolted in there (the meds also gave me instant diarrhea) and then I couldn't stand long enough to unlock it again. He listened to me screaming on the other side of the door for 15 minutes before the pain abated enough for me to stand up and let him in. I bled so much we thought I was hemorrhaging.

I took all the pain meds we had in the house and was in and out of consciousness for 20 hours. I was too weak to walk up my stairs without a break for a week afterwards. I have come out of a surgery that required general anaesthetic in a better condition than I was after my abortion.

My two medical abortions (10 weeks and 11 weeks) were extremely easy. They were easy for me emotionally. I felt nervous beforehand but I felt relief afterwards. While I did experience some pain, it wasn't worse than my typical period cramps or bad food poisoning.

My two births and pregnancies were also extremely different. My firstborn extremely traumatized me. The delivery was wretched, my postpartum was horrible and slow and painful... I just assumed everyone else was lying about their positive delivery stories to save face. Meanwhile, for my twins, the pregnancy was horrible and I wanted to die, but my delivery was basically painless and was done super quickly.

For periods, I used to have cramps so bad I would lose consciousness and black out on the bathroom floor, whereas now, I get some back pain for a few days and get very sleepy.

What this has taught me on a personal level is that anything to do with a woman's reproductive system is incredibly varied, and there is nothing an individual can do to affect it. Someone having an easier time doesn't take away from the trauma of someone else's experience, and someone else having a horrible time doesn't mean that the women who have it easier are lying or covering anything up.

Culturally, we dismiss women's ability to tell their own experiences and relay their own narratives honestly and faithfully. Even after years of trying to deprogram, I still subconsciously do it, and other feminists do too - cultural programming is hard to completely rid yourself of. It's easy for people who haven't had these experiences to listen to the stories that validate their own worldview and dismiss the ones that "don't fit the narrative".

When gay people say “I’m not interested in having sex with someone of the opposite sex” they flip their lid. They go into this “HOLY SHIT DATING DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN HAVING SEX?? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??” rant. 

I mean yes, Im not interested in dating a biological female full stop as a gay man - but its asinine to ignore that sex is a part of a romantic relationship for almost all of us, gay asexuals are in the minority. 

So what do you expect from us exactly? We fought to have gay sex decriminalised and we are still fighting for gay sex education. After decades of tireless work we are finally making major steps to prevent/cure AIDS. Our sexuality is an innate part of who we are and you are asking us to ignore a large part of it. By that I don’t mean we’re sex craved maniacs (though thats the narrative I see a lot), but we have had to fight for our sex to not be illegal - do you not understand the significance of that? We fought for our right to have sex the way we want to and now you want to take that away from us while claiming to be part of the same community and supporting us. Anyone who claims to be gay or our “ally” while supporting this rhetoric is nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A lot of gay people will spend a significant part of their lives in the closet, wishing they could change. Once these people have come out of the closet, to then tell them that ACTUALLY they should still have have sex with people they’re not attracted to or accept a sexless relationship is nothing short of evil and homophobic.