esnupi

most people stop when their muscles start to feel the "burn", or get a little shaky. that's fatigue, not failure. if you're training to fatigue, you'll increase oxygen uptake and endurance in those muscles, but not so much size or strength.

failure is when you physically can't do another clean rep- you try to do another pushup, but you arms just won't lower you to the floor or even really hold your weight anymore. it shouldn't involve any sort of sharp pain, sharp or shooting pains mean STOP IMMEDIATELY. but it should feel physically impossible to do another rep, like when you try to lift something too heavy for you. and you should have pretty bad DOMS the next day- sore and stiff. you want to create microtrauma in your tissues via progressively overloading them to stimulate growth.

there were an overwhelming amount of men, and little to no women at all. there were no separate dormitories either.

i asked staff why this is at multiple places.

it's because there's such a high rate of sexual violence, sometimes just assault in general, threats of murder towards homeless women in these shelters, that they'd rather sleep outside, spend their time OUTSIDE. even in the freezing cold. and it gets really really cold where i am in wintertime.

From a young age, you are told not to hang out with boys and “they only want one thing” and you hear stories in the news of women being kidnapped, assaulted or murdered by men. Or that if you go out, don’t be surprised if your drink is spiked and to take measures to prevent this etc etc. Fathers especially hate the idea of their daughters being around men because they fear for their safety. There is this general idea that is taught to you as a woman, specifically as a young woman (16-24) that there are men out to get you and you need to be very cautious.

But if you say that you’re scared of men, you are immediately met with statements like “don’t say that” “not every man is bad” “you shouldn’t generalise” “well then how do you expect to find a boyfriend?” “what about your dad or brother?” “that’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

"What I am calling 'heterosexualism' is not simply a matter of males having procreative sex with females. It is an entire way of living which involves a delicate, though at times indelicate, balance between masculine predation upon and masculine protection of a feminine object of masculine attention. <...> As a result, men presume access to women while women remain riveted on men and are unable to sustain a community of women.

<...> When a woman is accompanied by a man... she is usually no longer considered fair game. As a result, men close to individual women - fathers, boyfriends, husbands, brothers, escorts, colleagues - become protectors (theoretically), staving off advances of other men.

<...>

What a woman faces in a man is either a protector or a predator, and men gain identity through one or another of those roles."

"In other words, the logic of protection is essentially the same as the logic of predation. Through predation, men do things to women and against women all of which violate women and undermine women's integrity. Yet protection objectifies just as much as predation. To protect women, men do things to women and agains women; acting "for a woman's own good," they violate her integrity and undermine her agency.

people act like that's really hard but its really not considering all you have to do is have female default when asking "what can we do to help these people" rather than male default. at least 50% of whatever group you're talking about is probably women. further: helping women will help the children too.