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@nikexiphos
The world has irrevocably changed đ

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The problem with studying the deep ocean is that humans need light to look at things, the depths of the ocean are extremely dark, and what lives there is accustomed to spending most of its time in that darkness. So when we go down there with submersibles and turn on Big Lights to see, we invariably and dramatically alter what's going on, in the same way that it's generally difficult to observe the natural behaviors of terrestrial animals if you whip out a megaphone and shout HEY GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING at them first.
A humble snubnose eelpout on its way to the whale fall buffet when some nearby humans give it a quick, unintrusive study:
I put this in the comments but feel it needs a reblog- Check out some of Dr Edith Widderâs work on light in the deep sea! Among other things, she used the bioluminescence of stoplight fish to deduce wavelengths which most deep sea animals canât perceive and used that to create light filters to be able to film with minimal disturbance! And thatâs how we got 25 minutes of giant squid footage!!!!
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizableâespecially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
no other social media platform has lore quite like tumblrâs
the gods that haunt this place are unlike any others
I just saw a tiktok comment saying that tumblr right now is like a place recovered from being irradiated
Sign outside Tumblr: âThis place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. âŚâ
id: screenshot of tags reading âthe wildlife carries on in the ruins like nothing ever happenedâ
Sometimes you can hear voices from the trees...
I like your shoelaces
Thanks, I pulled them out of a stump filled with fae water and now it wards off the President
real talk why do so many fantasy universes think giant spiders are necessary
The sad part is thereâs a decent chance a large proportion of them can be blamed on one spider.
The tarantula that bit JRR Tolkien as a child.
He swore he didnât have a spider phobia and the experience had nothing to do with the man-eating giant spiders in The Hobbit, the even more giant and even more man-eating spider in Lord of the Rings, or the unholy eldritch spider from outside creation that plunged the world into darkness and made literal Satan scream like a little kid in the Silmarillion. Very few people believe him.
Given LotRâs influence in the fantasy genre, there is a high probability that tarantula is the progenitor of even more fictional spiders than Ungoliant was.
wow fuck that one tarantula
âfantasy universes have too many spidersâ factoid actually just statistical error. Georgs Spider, who bit JRR Tolkein & is to blame for menacing over 10,000 fantasy universes, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools
to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.
Flawless tags, @baddywronglegs
I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools
your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths
you can just feel the self-congratulatory glee of whoever named this paint this color, like they truly thought they were so funny and i think you're so funny paint color naming man good job paint man
never use this color on a wall you're going to be living with for a while, it looks okay at first but holy shit man
Okay, but don't leave this in the tags, man.
materialist-scumbag
THE TICK THAT DREW THE MAP OF THE WEST June 28, 2026
So the longhorn was a garbage animal. Stringy, mean, half-feral, descended from Spanish cattle that had gone loose in the brush country for a couple centuries and bred for survival rather than meat. In Texas after the war it was worth maybe three or four dollars a head, because there were millions of them and nobody to eat them. The local market was Texans, and Texas was broke. Up in Chicago or New York the same animal was worth thirty, forty dollars, because the Union had spent four years eating its way through the eastern cattle supply and the cities were short on beef.
That spread is the whole engine of the cattle drive. You don't need a tick to explain why a man would walk a cow a thousand miles to multiply its value by ten. The arithmetic does it.
What the tick explains is the SHAPE.
Because the thing about the longhorn nobody in the romance mentions is that it was a carrier. Centuries in the brush had given it a shaky immune truce with Babesia bigemina, a protozoan that lived in its blood and rode around on a tick that dropped off into the grass wherever the herd went.
The longhorn itself looked fine. Walked fine, sold fine, butchered fine. But the cattle it walked past, the fat improved Midwestern stock that had never met the parasite, those animals would start pissing blood and die at a rate that touched nine in ten. The Texans, reasonably, refused to believe their healthy-looking cattle were doing it. They took it to the Supreme Court in 1877 and won, on the entirely correct observation that their cows weren't sick. The cows weren't sick. The cows were Typhoid Mary.
(The disease disappeared every winter, too, north of a certain latitude, which baffled everybody for thirty years until somebody worked out that the tick just froze to death up there, no vector, no disease, the whole thing seasonal in a way that made it look like a moral judgment on Texas cattle specifically. It wasn't anybody's leading hypothesis that an insect was committing the murders. The leading hypothesis for a while was that the longhorns were poisoning the grass.)
So now run the two facts together. The cow is worth ten times more up north. The cow kills every other cow it passes on the way up north. What do you get?
You get a line.
You get a bunch of lines, actually. Quarantine lines, drawn and redrawn by Missouri and Kansas legislatures and eventually by the federal government, declaring that Texas cattle could not cross at all, or could only cross in winter when the tick was dead, or could only cross by rail if they were going straight to slaughter and never touched dirt that a local cow might later stand on. Missouri shut its border. Farmers formed Vigilance Committees (which is a polite nineteenth-century way of saying armed men) and turned the herds back at gunpoint. Kansas banned Texas cattle outright in 1885. And every one of those legal and shotgun-enforced lines was a wall the drive had to find a gate in.
The gate was the railhead.
This is the part that rewires the map. The famous cattle town (Abilene, Dodge City, Wichita, Ellsworth, the whole gunfighter pantheon) is not a town that grew up around ranching or water or gold or a river crossing. It's a point where the trail coming up out of the quarantine zone touched a railroad that could take the cow east to the slaughterhouse without it walking through anybody's protected pasture.
Abilene gets invented basically from scratch in 1867 by a man named Joseph McCoy who looked at the map, found a spot on the Kansas Pacific that was far enough WEST that the trail in from Texas could swing around the settled farm country and its quarantine, and built stockyards there. The town is a loading dock. The cowboy at the end of the trail, in the saloon, shooting the place up: he is a longshoreman who has just finished a shift, and the shift was getting the cargo to the one point where it could legally change from hooves to wheels.
And the cargo had to keep moving west precisely because the tick kept the settled east closed. As Kansas farmers spread and the quarantine line marched west with them, the railhead had to march west too. Abilene to Ellsworth to Wichita to Dodge, each town flaring up and dying back as the line of legal infection-free transfer slid across the state. The towns weren't competing on amenities. They were competing on being the current solvent point in a chemistry problem about where a tick could and couldn't survive the trip.
(Dodge City lasts longest because it's furthest out, last to get caught by the advancing farms, sitting out where the quarantine couldn't reach it yet. Its whole mythological career (Wyatt Earp, Boot Hill, the Long Branch) is a few years long and happens because of an agricultural-settlement frontier creeping toward it at the speed of homesteading. When the farms arrive, the party's over. The party was always a function of the farms not having arrived.)
So the geography of the Wild West, which towns exist and why they're where they are and why they boom for five years and empty out and why the trail bends where it bends, is not topography and not destiny and not the romance of open range.
It's the intersection of a price differential and a quarantine map. The price differential said go north. The quarantine map, drawn by the tick, said you may only go north HERE, and HERE, and now not there anymore, here. The cow drew the route and the parasite drew the borders and the men with the guns were just enforcing a public-health regime they didn't know was a public-health regime.
And it all gets zeroed out, eventually, the same way these things always do, not by a hero but by a logistics upgrade. They build the Kansas City stockyards and the packing plants, and then the rail net gets dense enough that the cow doesn't have to walk to the train at all, the train comes to the cow. Refrigerated cars mean you slaughter in Chicago and ship the meat instead of the animal. The long drive, the trail town, the whole apparatus that existed only to get a tick-bearing animal across a quarantine line to a loading point, it just stops being necessary, and the gunfighter towns settle down into being ordinary Kansas, dry and flat and law-abiding, within about a decade of their own legend.
The cattle tick itself they finally beat in 1943, dipping every cow in the South in arsenic for forty years to break the lifecycle. Nobody made a movie about the dipping vats.
Same as it ever was.
"my life isn't a crime, I'm not one of those people -"
"you sure? new parameters for Those People just dropped. check again."
And if you truly cannot imagine this, if you're convinced that it will never happen to you, consider this one thing.
Would you want scammers to know the state of your loved one's dementia?
Oh. Shit.
forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware
to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it youâre literally gonna be using that almost every day
This seems like a good post to include this link on:
One buyout firm quietly collected Pyrex, Corelle, Instant Pot, and Oneida. Farberware is a name on a 200-year lease. And the pans still wort
Talking about popular kitchenware companies undergoing enshittification, and gives you a list of brands towards the end that are more reliable.

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my bonnies
Donât mind me just thinking about the hole in the middle of the United States where Chipping sparrows refuse to fuck
I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job. There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept. The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.
Even in the house it was LOUD. Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval. You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making yourâŚâŚâŚ..HORNâŚâŚâŚâŚ. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off. It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.
At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere âin honor of her sacrificeâ because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks. People werenât allowed to be alone on the watch after that.
One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit. It did. Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that. People donât go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, Iâve found.
That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days
you know you couldâve just said âno they donât have wifiâ and that wouldâve answered the question
But then you wouldnt have known about the moose
Tread here.
The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they werenât âincorporating blockchain technologyâ into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said âyou have no idea what youâre talking aboutâ and went to lunch
there's an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they're now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I'm an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion
"oh but along the way they realize they actually do want to raise the child together and ultimately keep the baby" no actually they successfully get the abortion and then they get chili dogs or something
neither of them want kids and it's not because they're immature or selfish or afraid of commitment or irresponsible or whatever, they just don't want to be parents and that's not a flaw they overcome. obviously they have other issues because there has to be some kind of arc to this story but deciding to keep a pregnancy that was unplanned and unwanted isn't the solution.
some of you are very determined for this to not be a romance, to which I politely say shut the fuck up and get out of my sandbox. these idiots are going on an abortion roadtrip and they are falling in love on the way so help me god.
I genuinely am floored by how hard of a time people are having with the very simple premise "two characters go on a roadtrip to get an abortion and fall in love with each other"
each other. each other each other each other. a person who is pregnant and the person who got them pregnant fall in love with each other on the way to terminate the pregnancy.
there's something about all the "okay, but what about this unexpected twist!" replies that is pinging weirdly on my brain and I think it's like...
the point of the 'twist' in storytelling is that you're maintaining interest or raising the states by subverting a baseline state. taking something expected and doing the unexpected with it.
but the scenario as OP describes it, where two people enter in a romance but don't want and take steps not to have kids, is... not a baseline. this doesn't happen in media. in all standard instances it's either they aren't in love OR they are in love and decide to have the kid. the notion of people wanting to be romantically involved but not wanting kids, the notion of seeing abortion as desirable/necessary healthcare, that already IS the subversion.
the original premise doesn't need to be spiced up with an Unexpected Twist because it is the unexpected twist. and it's not going to be boring or played our or cliched until there's a dozen stories like it and the idea of un-dramatically going to get a healthcare procedure done with someone who loves you is normalized.
i hate to go ummmm, actually - but, ummmm, actually, the movie you're looking for is Obvious Child with Jenny Slate.
SPOILERS AHEAD
She's a comedian, he is a good boy, they have a one night stand, she gets pregnant but she doesn't want the baby. They start spending time together and are really into each other. She realizes that he is a great guy and that they want to be with each other. She gets her abortion on Valentine's Day, and even though he is not happy at first, they both realize it's for the best and he accompanies her on the day. By the end, they are together (maybe for now, maybe forever).
It's a great comedy and the two leads have great chemistry.
where's the road trip
In a just world with good health care, the road trip isnât necessary
Like âgoing on a road trip to a pharmacyâ shouldnât be a thing. If they have time to fall in love on the way to the abortion provider, medical treatment is too far away
(Though i concede roadtrip tropes are fun)
okay, in a just world that's true. in the world and country where I actually live, many people do not have easy access to abortion services. in the US there are in fact many people who would have to drive pretty far to get an abortion. hence the plot I'm pitching here.
Where's the OP of the "no make up" post. We have found someone who has suffered as they suffered.
you aren't gonna believe this but
that was also me
arenât you also the op of the âwhy would you pin all your little gay hopes on taylor swiftâ post? congratulations on being the person having the worst possible pvp experience on tumblr
OP is cursed somehow I think

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Ok now Iâm curious⌠Which do you prefer:
I have lived in and out of the city, I prefer the city
I have only lived in the city, I prefer the city
I have only lived out of the city, I prefer the city
I have lived in and out of the city, I prefer out of the city
I have only lived in the city, I prefer out of the city
I have only lived out of the city, I prefer out of the city
Bald/vanilla extract/I reject dichotomies under all circumstances/I canât read