My Obsessions

and a rare variant

Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:

This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.

And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?

She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.

I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.

Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.

At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.

I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.

“What… did you do?”

“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”

She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.

My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”

And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.

the family requests that trash gengar's privacy be respected during this difficult time

The thing that people really need to understand is that the "product" that chatGPT and other "AI" chatbots create is "more interactions with chatGPT." Everything it does is engineered with that one end in mind. Think about how it's billed, and you'll see that's true, and why it's true. What do "pro" subscriptions give you? More inquiries, faster answers, etc. So its entire thing is "getting you to ask it more things, more often."

Will it say "I don't know?" No. You won't ask it things if it answers that. This is why hallucinations are built in, and cannot ever be eliminated.

These programs are machines meant to generate more inquiries, which means they will generate dependence in order to generate them.

It really does not matter how well-educated you are, because this kind of endless flattery and dependence-creation isn't the kind of thing that "being educated" protects against. The idea that "kids these days" are specially vulnerable to ChatGPT due to a failure of general education is insultingly wrong, skips over the fact that a lot of highly-educated people from my generation and older have been sucked in to dependence and even psychosis by LLMs, and frankly makes it more likely that people will look at this "kids these days" thing and say, "Ahh, but I'm [older/better educated/built different], I'm not like Those Kids, AI's tricks won't work on me, or at the very least, I will be less susceptible to them!"

And that's just wrong.

ChatGPT is Wormtongue, in a very real, not metaphorical or exaggerated sense. The only way to truly avoid the way in which it rots your fucking brain is not to use it at all.

There is no amount or type of education which will protect you from the automated evil vizier whispering flattery and lies into your ear. Telling yourself or others otherwise is simply incorrect.

Trying to reframe it as "Kids These Days are more susceptible because they're 'functionally broken' by our education system" doesn't change the basic thesis statement.

Me: is that you, Doug

The credits: Freaky Creature played by Doug Jones

Me: DOUG!!!