This Ain't a Ship, It's a Goddamn Yacht, Son

no offense but reading is literally the cure to brain rot and there’s no work around to reading books

I follow the "leave nothing but footprints take nothing but photos" rule of state/national parks yeah because conservation. But also because when I was 11 i read a short story about a girl who went to a museum and stole a bandage flake off a mummy on display with the mentality of "im just one person one piece won't be missed" then at night she was visited by the mummy and it plucked a single hair from her head and then the next night a different mummy took another hair and she realized that there were only so many pieces to her before there would be nothing left and that story was forever wedged in my brain. Anyways leave cool rocks where you find them or the mummies will get you

I also need to engage with this tradition

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

I can't watch a television show until a demon possesses me and compels me to do it

before there were blorbos there were little meow meows and before there were little meow meows there were cinnamon rolls

i have to kill this post because people keep trying to explain the difference between blorbos and little meow meows and smol beans and cinnamon rolls to me . man i literally don't ca(opens my trench coat revealing a bomb strapped to my chest) EVERYONE GET ON THE GROUND NOW. GET ON THE GROUND.

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

I don’t care what your credentials are, if you’re giving a presentation with ai generated images I instantly lose respect for you

your kink is not my kink *but your kink is okay* don't forget that part

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

I identify with almonds. so relatable.

Being milked for something you did not evolve for?

this is the worst possible response, thank you for your service monarch