keep your dog on a leash

"those who refused were slaughtered" BY WHO??

me when i'm a 9th century viking getting on a ship to go raid the latest coastal anglo-saxon monastery as a part of the Great Heathen Army which has already committed untold violence and bloodshed but i am safe in the knowledge that in 1200 years, i will be cast as some kind of victim of christianity even though i converted entirely of my own volition on my deathbed in Fuck Ass Shropshire being prayed over by Æthelstan the local deacon whose monastic order was almost entirely decimated by myself only a decade earlier.

i do in hindsight really love the concept of complaining about adaptational changes in a 3000 year old oral tradition of which there isn’t really a definitive version so much as a surviving one that is also the most adapted story of all time. my chud forebears in Roman Britain throwing rocks at a bard going nah nah nah the last one said some different other shit at that part you gotta do it again is a comforting image to me

Almost one thousand years ago a woman with my exact face and probably better bangs in rural Morgannwyg was defending to the whole village the latest iteration of the marchog gwyrdd where Gwalchmei ap Gwyar is called Gawain and gets a little gay with it even though it’s different than the tale we have earlier heard from a previous bard so that I can fight the same battle on letterboxd today. God bless complaining the worlds oldest activity

god these violent delights are fucking AWESOME lol. having a great time. btw does anybody know what we're doing after this

when i reblog something for a mutual and they reblog it from somewhere else #WELCOMEHOMECHEATER

silver is so fuckable in s2 bc flint wants to fuck him. he pressed that dude against the wall and put a knife to his throat and found out he was actually being smart and his dick got naturally hard for the first time in 10 years. the only reason he didnt proposition silver is bc he knows silver is a liar and a thief and could 100% blackmail him so instead flint allows there to be this very thick sexual tension in the hopes that Silver will crack and do something about it. alas. silver is insane.

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed

Making "oog. Waugh. 🥺" kinds of noises after being reminded of a very basic fact about blorbo I already knew

the romans were obsessed with incest and they kept trying to legally recreate it in ways such as 1. adopting your friend and marrying him to your biological daughter 2. being co-emperors 3. fratricide 4. moms always think their gay emperor son is the messiah 5. civil war