Yikes

“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly. 

There is literally no way I could have guessed where this post was heading

if this happened like 5 years ago people would be losing their shit, now it’s just like “oh yeah another thing”

thinking about how milk jugs are so perfectly designed; not a bit of wasted space. the handle is part of the container as well and you can clearly see how much of the liquid is left. genius. im thinking of eating the mushroom growing in my frontyard whole. if even one person is nice to me today i will kiss them on the lips

Hi this is absolutely killing me, could someone please point me in the direction of that video of the guy in like a train station who’s pretending to be a street preacher but he’s reading the Very Hungry Caterpillar like it’s the book of Genesis

i hate when people r like “do you like them? oooh you’re blushing you do!!!” like, no you cold corndog im fucking blushing bc you’re embarrassing me and making me uncomfortable

SOMEONE SAID IT

Still fucks me up that the Da Vinky dudes are proffessional tag team wrestlers and one of their common spots is just switching out without tagging while the ref is distracted cause they’re identical twins.

its yellow you are all wrong i have decided just now

nice try but i’m not colorblind it says 71

OP you’re colourblind