who give a shit

Item: Pigeon Shoes; a cheaper version of Flying Shoes that occasionally get distracted by bread crumbs

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

I love that this joke works in English even though it's not written in English.

Sitting here watching the delivery tracker app as the little icon of the car very slowly increases in width while remaining in the same spot knowing it's just a glitch of some kind, but, like, imagine.

Peering sourly at my phone like "ah shit, they sent the Wide Car again".

I love when it decides to correct a desync between the app and the location, so it just shows the car doing a blues brothers through several culdesacs and a lake.

"why do you keep calling things you find beautiful, inexplicable, and unsettling angels" i'm just doing what british wartime radar technicians did first

concept: instead of “time traveller from the past is unimpressed by the present” it’s “time traveller from the past loves things we don’t like about modern society” like they think pollution is badass or something

medieval peasant upon hearing the number of species that go extinct every day: fuck yeah, damn those beafts to hell