kcab dneb smra ym ,semitemos tub

When I first saw this post go around, I was traveling, but I had something I wanted to say and I could never find it again.

Okay, so, this post isn’t wrong, but what the original gifset doesn’t take into account (though some of the commentary touches on it) is how incredibly situational swearing was in the 1940s.

So, yes, men swore a lot – around other guys, in certain contexts. But they were very heavily conditioned not to swear around women and kids.

I think this might be one of the big reasons why a lot of people my age and younger got the idea that people didn’t swear during the 1940s. Most of us fell into the “kid” or “female” categories, or both, and guys our grandparents’ age would never, ever say “fuck” around us. And those words weren’t usually used in media of the era for similar reasons, so we got the idea that people that age were very prim and polite, when it’s more that they were prim and polite around us.

I remember as a young woman walking in on groups of old blue-collar guys talking among themselves, with profanity flying freely, and then noticing me in the room and immediately clamming up and apologizing to me for swearing around me.

There’s a bit in the Douglas Bader biography I was reading a month or so ago that demonstrates this in a WWII context. According to the book, the squadron pilots swore freely in their radio chatter to each other in the field, to the amusement of the WAAFs (female service personnel) who were listening to the radio in an ops room as they moved counters around on maps (much like we see Peggy doing in TFA) and the embarrassment of their commander:

After awhile, to the regret of the Beauty Chorus [the WAAFs], Woodhall disconnected the loud-speaker in the Ops Room, feeling that some of the battle comments were too ripe even for the most sophisticated WAAFs. (“They laugh, you know,” he said, “but dammit I get so embarrassed.”)

… so, right, even in the middle of a war, pilots saying “fuck” over the radio was something the female staff had to be insulated from.

Say what you will about the baby boomers, but they largely demolished that wall between “swearing around men” and “swearing around women”. Most guys my dad’s age don’t do it anymore, at least not to that much of an extreme. By the time you get to my generation (I’m 40), people might swear or they might not, and they usually don’t swear around young kids, but swearing around men but not around women is just not a thing anyone does anymore. At least I don’t know anyone who does it specifically and consistently who’s not elderly.

It’s not really an individual-sexism thing, more of a socialization thing – sexist on a societal level, sure, but I don’t think Steve would balk at swearing around women, kids, or in a refined or professional social setting because he’s a sexist or a prude. It’s just something you didn’t do as a polite person. Like blowing your nose on the tablecloth in a fancy restaurant. I think he could and probably would unlearn that, but it’d take time.

So, to me, about half the examples up there work just fine (“now why the fuck would I do that” to Bucky – absolutely! Or “Is everything a fucking joke to you?” to Tony) and several jar horribly, because they’re not the right context (like the “there’s only one God ma'am” bit – noooo, you aren’t going to get “fuck” and “ma'am” in the same sentence! not for a Steve fresh from the 1940s! – or “we have our fucking orders” … in a polite, professional context like that, no). Steve would never. Or, I should say, someone from Steve’s culture – who tries in general to be a polite and respectful person, as Steve does – would never. Maybe after he’s had a few years to acclimatize to the more relaxed social climate surrounding swearing in the 21st century, but I think it’d take him awhile; he would sort of instinctively jerk himself back from doing it in all but the most relaxed sort of “palling around with your teammates” environment.

(Headcanon-wise, I could see Steve very quickly incorporating someone like Natasha into his mental schemata as “one of the guys” – not consciously, but on a subconscious level: like, he doesn’t hold back from swearing around her pretty quickly – but taking a LOT longer with someone like Wanda or Pepper.)

The Iroh we meet at the beginning is not "redeemed," and there really is no way for him to properly redeem himself for what he did. And I think he knows that. I think Iroh knows he was a bad man, I think he knows that he turned his son into a bad man who deserved what he got. That's the real tragedy; he knows Lu Ten had it coming and that it was Iroh who set him up for a well-deserved death. He can't even hate the people who killed his son, because Iroh and his son were the aggressors, and their enemies were were just protecting their home from invaders. He doomed his own son, and his son died a bad man, without ever getting a chance to redeem himself.

No, Iroh is not redeemed and he knows it. So what is he to do? Wallow in self-hatred? Turn himself in to the Earth King and go to prison? Maybe that's what justice looks like, maybe that's what he deserves. But if he's in prison, or wallowing in a hole somewhere, he cannot actually take actions that will help other people in the long run, actions that will pay for his karma even slightly. No, even if going to prison would be justice for Iroh, he would not be able to right any wrongs, he wouldn't be able to perform his small acts of kindness, he wouldn't be able to make up for the death and destruction he caused even slightly, from behind prison bars.

But what he can do is raise Zuko. He can steer Zuko in the right direction and do everything he can to not let Zuko turn into the kind of man who will deserve his death when it comes for him. He can groom Zuko (non-creepy) into a better leader than himself, into the kind of man who could set their nation on the right path. And by turning Zuko into a good man who can help begin the process of healing the world from the damage their family did to it, Iroh does his part in righting his own wrongs. Whether that pays for all his crimes is questionable. Probably not, but it's all he can really do. He can't change the past, but he can try to shape the future.

You'll spend less time on hold and reach more people with the time and patience to hear you out.

2. Take notes for phone calls. You can literally make a numbered check list of what you definitely want to bring up, and then during the call take down who you spoke to, at what date and what solutions/deadlines were promised.

pre call: find out what governing body deals with the type of complaint you are making. They ALWAYS have rules. For example, in the UK, the Financial Ombudsman Services have a 7 day acknowledgement stipulation AND if the complaint goes over 8 weeks they need to be advised. If you disagree with the outcome of your complaint you can then take it to them and they look into it for you. It costs the company money to have a decision go to FOS. Normally its around £500-ish.

1: Make a list of things you are unhappy about with the service/situation. Ask if all calls are recorded. Get names and times of your call too. As person above said - NOTES!

2: Tell the person that you would like to make a FORMAL complaint. Not just a complaint, but FORMAL. This will normally get you transferred through to the dedicated complaints team rather than the regular call handlers.

3: List your complaint points. If they try to explain away your points, write those down, but you need to make sure that they have ALL your points.

4: At the end of the call - ask them to read what they have written. It's annoying as hell but it will help you in the long run. Make sure you check you have the name of the agent taking the complaint. They might not be the one who DEALS with it, but names are gold.

5: Ask WHEN you will receive a written acknowledgement of your complaint. Ask for your complaint reference number. If they don't have either of those, ask who the governing body is for your specific type of complaint. If you are calling about an energy bill for example, it should be OFGEM. If its bank charges it should be FOS. If they don't know, then ask to be put through to someone who does.

6: When you get your letter/email of acknowledgement, there should be contact information on there, and a return email/address. Send an email/letter BACK, with your points on there as well. It's a good idea to list them - bullet points or date order or numbered. Attach any relevent paperwork or images (screenshots work really well for phone calls and so on) that support your complaint.

7: They should keep you updated with progress reports on your complaint, but they might not. That's okay - keep ANYTHING they send to you in a dedicated place. Try to respond to requests for evidence or information within 24 hours. They may try to use YOUR delay in getting that information as to why its taking so long.

8: They have a certain amount of time to resolve your complaint. Check online cause it can vary, but with FOS and the FCA its 8 weeks - FROM THE FIRST POINT OF CONTACT i.e: your initial call to complain. If its longer than that they MUST tell you the reason why. At that point you can take the complaint to the higher body, but its normally a good idea to hold off till they uphold or decline the complaint.

9: You CAN dispute the decision and you CAN ask for more money if they offer something too low. Don't accept store credit or a discount on the next bill. Cash Only. If you are cancelling your contract, make sure they are waiving the cancellation fees ON TOP OF your compensation. If they say they can't do that, remind them they are at fault and (if they upheld your complaint) have accepted liability. PUSH BACK on anything you don't agree with. Ask for SPECIFIC terms and conditions. Ask what steps they have taken to stop this happening again.

10: Get your decision in writing, with the T&C's listed. I always check my paperwork and contract I was sent last (if your policy renews they can change the T&C's so always use the most recent one) and check the T&C's match. if they don't - even if its the page number that is wrong - go back to them and dispute it. If they are working from a copy of the T&C's you DONT have, ask when they sent those to you, and ask for proof of sending it. If they are working of a set they never sent you - this is a breach of the contract YOU have, and it WILL be accepted by FOS or whatever.

Now I know this seems like a lot of things, but if you feel strongly enough to complain, you should be treated fairly and lawfully. Learning how to complain is a skill, and you cannot let your concern for being 'that person' override your rights as a consumer. LOTS of companies are getting away with shit because its 'too much work' to go through the process.

PRO MOVES: Be polite. Be respectful. Keeping a log of who you talked to and when. If they say that they don't have notes, advise them that you were told calls are recorded, so they can pull that call and listen to it. If the calls aren't recorded, tell them you'd like to add the lack of correct notes to the complaint - give them the time, date and name of who you spoke to, and what you said. NOTES NOTES NOTES.

here's a thing you should think about to make your world more believable and cohesive :) it could really enhance your plot and characters and it's also fun to think about it, when you know how the real world works you can make more vivid fantasy worlds!