Ambigous Species of Animal

do these count

Last week, the Trump administration quietly released a sweeping new federal rule that would use funding threats to force institutions across the country to reject transgender people. The 400-page proposed regulation would codify the administration's anti-trans executive orders into binding federal policy, imposing a blanket prohibition on federal funds going toward "gender ideology"

The proposed rule, formally titled "Regulation for Federal Financial Assistance," rewrites the government-wide framework governing all federal grants across every agency. Among its most consequential provisions, it requires that before a federal grant recipient can receive money, the award must pass a "pre-issuance review" conducted by a political appointee—not a career expert or peer reviewer—to ensure it is "consistent with applicable law, Federal agency priorities, and the national interest." The regulation explicitly instructs these appointees to screen for "denial by the recipient of the sex binary in humans or the notion that sex is a chosen or mutable characteristic." [...] An institution that acknowledges transgender people exist—through its policies, its training, its healthcare, its bathroom access, its HR procedures, its name-change processes—could be deemed to "deny the sex binary" or to “support the notion that sex is mutable” and have its federal funding blocked.

I want a movie that starts with a Friday the 13th knockoff premise - a hulking undead murderer rises from the grave to terrorize some college kids. But, through a series of slapstick shenanigans, he keeps getting disarmed while going for the kill, and the incredibly drunk coeds he's trying to menace are so hammered that they end up embracing him and bringing him along on their various 80's teenage dramedy hijinks. Cars are raced, parties are crashed, and this hulking murder monster is stumbling along without a clue as to what he can do while everyone drags him into more and more comedic goofball stunts. And every time he thinks he can find a weapon and start killing, some dumb bullshit pratfall occurs and leaves him disarmed again.

And, not to crib too much from the wizard novels I've written, I think to give the plot structure we should exploit the fact that these Jason Voorhees-type slashers often have abusive parents in their backstory, because hey, guess what the protagonists of 80's teenage dramedies also have? Imagine the poor lumbering brute stomping into a college library just to see his would-be victims crying their eyes out as they Breakfast Club monologue about their home lives, and he has a full on Grinch moment as he realizes that maybe he and these sex-crazed teens... aren't so different after all.

it would be so awesome

BUT