How Many Days Left

Q: What are you going to do with this blog when their term ends?

A: I’m going to leave this blog up as a monument to the worst, longest, dumbest four years in history.

Q: Will you change the profile picture of this blog to be happier as the count reaches zero?

A: Yes, I look forward to leaving this blog with a smile on her face :)

Q: Why do you use they/them as pronouns for them? Why not just say their name?

A: Because they’ve expressed that they “don’t do pronouns”, and additionally, the executive order they gave that makes everyone in the States their “gender at conception” technically makes all citizens agender, and thus they/them pronouns are what I default to.

I don’t and will not say their name because every time their name gets said out loud they have a shattering orgasm and I refuse to contribute to that on principle.

If you have anything else you want to say about this, please visit this post:

Q: Well if that’s how it is then you should use it/its pronouns to-

A: NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. We do NOT use ANY pronouns as an insult here.

I understand you’re upset but we will NOT use it/its for them for a few reasons:

1. It would be extremely rude and very hurtful to it/its users who would see you using the mere existence of the pronouns as an insult

2. it/its is NOT neutral. As they haven’t said what their preferred pronouns are, it would be incorrect to use anything but the most neutral option. You don’t use it/its to describe someone you don’t know- if I said “I have a friend who hand-crochets frogs,” you wouldn’t say, “oh, what is its name?”

3. If you’re using it/its to dehumanize them, then that sends the message that the person doing this isn’t human. We cannot risk forgetting that they are human, just like us, for even a second, because if we do then the problem ceases to be humans hurting humans, and we don’t have to introspect because the problem is someone different than us.

Q: Why can’t I send an anonymous ask?

A: Because I turned off that option. The reason I did that is because people are a lot more comfortable being shitty and non-genuine anonymously, so everyone has to attach their name to their words. If you don’t want to be serious, though, you can always participate in the “what if…?” game.

Q: What is the “what if…?” game?

A: It’s super easy- you come up with a silly scenario and then I explain how said scenario will not lead to a third term with 100%(ish) accuracy!

For example:

Q: You do realize all this shit won’t just stop at the end of the count, right?

A: Yes, that’s right. But this blog isn’t counting down the days until every sociopolitical problem faced by every individual in this country is solved forever. It’s counting down the days until they, constitutionally, legally, HAVE to leave office, no matter how hard they resist going. If this blog gives even one person the motivation not to kill themselves, this blog has done its job.

Q: I missed the daycount post and now it’s buried under other long important posts. Will you help me?

A: Absolutely I will- if you send me an ask that just says “how much time” or anything to that effect, I will respond with the current daycount and maybe some encouragement.

Q: So, regarding the happy birthday song you send when someone tells you it’s their birthday?

A: Lemme stop you right there. I know, people have a lot of reasons to be triggered by, squicked out by or just annoyed by the song I send for birthdays. You don’t owe me any explanation as to why. Just request a different song and of course I’ll oblige. If you want, you could tell me it’s your friend’s birthday and send me a song suggestion to say happy birthday to them.

Q: How do I get added to the potluck notification list?

A: Simple- just ask me and you’ll get added to the list! Ask me to stop at any time and I will. The potluck takes place every 25 days so you’ll get a “thank you for participating, there are now 25 days until next potluck” message on Day 25, and then the countdown resets. And that is the ONLY countdown that will reset here.

Q: Wait, potluck? What’s that, how did it get started?

A: You know I really thought this would be self-explanatory, but I guess not. Anyway, it really started as me sharing my favourite mug cookie recipe and @sockatoothewafflebird deciding they were gonna make it every 25 days, so I added that count into the comments for them. Then other people started asking to be added to the mug cookie countdown, and then admitting “I’m probably not gonna make a mug cookie but I’m gonna make this other thing I’m looking forward to” so with so many people joining and so many different recipes, I decided to just start calling it a potluck. So now the potluck is an event that occurs every 25 days in which we share recipes, food pics and anything else we like to boost morale.

Q: Oh no! I sent my potluck recipe late/forgot when it was! What if I send you my recipe now?

A: Then I queue your recipe up for the next potluck. You can also ask me for a daycount on THAT.

Q: Why do you send wikipedia articles as a source?

A: Because in spite of what you’ve been told in high school, wikipedia is one of the best sources of information in existence. Take a moment to donate to them if you can.

Q: So what’s the deal with @ruthlesslycurious ?

A: I’ll probably regret it but. There’s a post right here:

Q: It’s going to be a leap year-

A: YES, I KNOW.

Q: Why is Clippy here?

A: Clippy says, “the answer to that question is here!”

Q: What if they get impeached/die/leave office some other way before the count hits zero?

A: Then the countdown continues as normal. They are not god, they are not king. Life continues on without them, and so does the countdown.

Q: What? But if they die, won’t their term be over?

A: Not here, sorry- idk how it is in your country, but here, if they die then their couchfucking boyfriend just gets to run out the rest of the time We don’t have emergency elections here, we have the line of succession.

Q: You’re wasting your time, they’ve decided they’re staying for a third term, didn’t you see they’re selling 2028 hats?!

A: No I did not, because I don’t troll around on their website and I would advise you don’t either. Their shopping website is not a news website. The constitution does not change based on what hats they sell.

Q: But for real, what if they do get a third term?

A: They won’t. You know that. Next question, please.

Q: Not EVERYONE is gonna make it til the end of their term.

A: No, they won’t, but some of us will- and why the hell shouldn’t YOU be one of the survivors?

Q: What if tumblr tries to demand you take this blog down?

A: Tumblr’s censorship extends to trans people, women’s bodies and anyone with a skintone darker than pantone 727, we’ve seen first hand they will not give a shit about this.

Q: What if someone just as bad as them gets elected next?

A: The likelihood of that happening is exceedingly slim- in the words of Seth Meyers, “only they can pull off being them.”

Q: What if I don’t think we’re gonna get through this? What if I want to post a comment or reblog refuting that we’ll get through this?

A: It is of course your right to think that, but know that if you post any sort of comment saying “blah blah blah we’re all fucked and everything is ruined forever” or anything to that effect, your comment will immediately be deleted and you run the risk of being blocked. You have every right to give into despair. I wish you wouldn’t, but it is ultimately your right. It is NOT your right to drag others down with you.

Q: What if we never get to vote again?

A: Alright, everyone, you’re starting to catastrophize. Just- take a deep breath. It’s gonna be okay.