Sholio on AO3, fic blog is at sholiofic. Over 18 (a lot over). Currently feral about Murderbot, Babylon5, Biggles; other content includes Agent Carter, MCU, books, comics, whatever catches my eye.
Let me pass on to you the one thing Iβve learned about this place. No one here is exactly what he appears. Not Mollari, not Delenn, not Sinclairβ¦ and not me.Β
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A character attempting to hug another without being able to use their arms- their hands bound behind them and to or around an obstacle, they curl their torso forward and hunch their shoulders around the other character as much as possible, tilting their head and hooking their chin over the other's shoulder or head, providing what contact and comfort they can in their situation.
like the betrayalβs always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didnβt matter. someone discards you because they didnβt give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say βI love you. I would make the same choice again.β You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.
βI thought they cared about me, but they were lying this whole time.β <- tired. boring. removes all the nuance of this relationship to make it easier to move on from.
βI thought they cared about me, and I was right, and every minute they were there for me, every time they said they were proud, every laugh we shared leaning against each other bruised and breathless, all of it was real. and they still left me behind. They could put their love aside. I couldnβt.β <- insane. will never leave you alone. reminds you that even the worst people are still people and can still care about even the ones they hurt the most and that undoes neither the harm nor the love.
okay. something about the way i worded this is making people think this is a vent thing about real relationships. and itβs fine if thatβs where it took you. but i feel like i need to be transparent here: this be blorboposting. karlach cliffgate and her terrible awful no good very bad betrayal.
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I have recently been thinking about Narn biology, and speciefically developmental biology. As they are marsupials their young would be born early, and what other races would consider "premature".
But, as I may as well use my biology degree for something, I've drawn a mockup of the developmental stages of a Narn pregancy and pouchling state. Also, hand for scale (because I kept looking at my hand, imagining tiny Narn babies while drawing this..)
(Long text going stage by stage under the break)
0-3 weeks: The start of the pregnancy, from just a lump of cells to the development of the central nervous system (CNS) and the heart. At this point there are almost no recognisable structures or limbs formed yet, though the forelimbs have stated to develop. Size at this point is similar to a jelly bean.
3-5 weeks: During this period the rest of the circulatory system as well as the respiratory system start to develop. This include the lungs, tracea, mouth and nose. Additionally the forelimbs grow larger and individual fingers start to form. The foetus will also double in size during this period, now rivaling a grape in size. The eyes is the last part of the CNS to start to develop, though they will remain closed for the forseeable future.
5-7 weeks: By week 7 the mouth is fully formed and the digestive system has started developing as well. The forelimbs have grown stronger and the back limbs have started to separate, though they are still far behind the forelimbs. The vestigial tail will also start to separate from the legs at this point.
7-9 weeks: At this point all necessary systems have to be fully developed. The CNS, circulatory system, and digestive system are now fully functional. The forelimbs have also developed far ahead of the rest of the body, and the fingers are tipped in sharp claws. By now the young will be able to climb a vertical surface using only its forelimbs, a hold over from an earlier ancestor where the young had to enter the pouch of the carrying male on it's own. These days the young are helped into the pouch by their parents.
Week 9: birth. (While the young of many of the races are deemed 'cute' as newborn, there is a general consensus that Narns are not. To most other races the Narns look distinctly unfinished.)
0-2 weeks after birth: After the birth the young is placed into the pouch of their male parent (or an other male should the parent not be available). The young, now officially a pouchling, will latch onto a nipple. The tip of the nipple will swell, effectively locking the pouchling onto it for the next few months. The face continues to develop, and they will lose the muzzle-like appearance they had at birth. During this period they will start gaining weight more rapidly, and at 2 weeks they are about the same size and weight as a newborn (earth) kitten.
2-4 weeks after birth: During this stage their face continues to become more recognisable as a Narn as features such as a nose and ears develop. Their spots and colouring will start to appear during this period, also helping them achieve the appearance of a proper Narn. Their feet have finally developed into limbs, and their toes will form individual structures during this period.
4-6 weeks after birth: From 4-6 weeks the pouchling will nearly triple it's mass. The critical systems are all fully developed at this point, including their eyes, though they remain closed. The rest of the body is also starting to catch up the the development of the forelimbs, and the tail have stopped developing.
6-9 weeks after birth: By 9 weeks the pouchling is fully developed, though still small. Their eyes remain closed, but will during the next couple of weeks gradually start to open. The face has gotten the distinct brow ridge, and the limbs have elongated.
9 weeks until the emergance: After having passed 9 weeks in the pouch, the pouchling is technically ready to emerge for the first time. At this point they have grown big enough to let go of the nipple, and their eyes will start to open, allowing them to start exploring the world beyng the pouch. Most pouchlings will however stay in the pouch until they reach 11-12 weeks of age. During these last 2-3 weeks they will change only in size as they continue to grow. If added together and counting the first emergance as the proper "birth", a Narn pregnancy, though split between the parents, average a total of 21 weeks, just past the half way point of a human pregnancy.
(Post script:
This all started because i listened to an interview of Julie Caitlin Brown from 2006. At one point during this interview she said, apropos of nothing: "I always thought G'kar should have gotten pregnant." (paraphrased from memory, it's been a couple weeks since then).
Which, i agree, that yould have been fun. It also made my mind start circling the idea of a Narn pregnancy, and what a developing Narn could look like. And, as I happen to have a degree in biology I don't have much use for, i figured, 'why not?'. And so i give you all my ramblings.
Also, do the Narn have a tail? Impossible to know, since as far as i'm aware, we have never seen a bare Narn ass. In my mind, they have a tiny vestigial tail. It is longer as a pouchling, but it gets mostly reabsorbed into their body before they emerge for the first time.)
mccoy doesn't have a chair on the bridge cuz he's the kinda guy who stands behind the couch to watch a whole 45 minute episode of something while insisting he doesn't need to sit down bc he's just checking out one scene. does this make sense
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This week, I read a fic that was around 20 years old, which had originally been posted on the author's personal website and which she added to AO3 a few years ago. She listed her email address with the fic, so after I finished reading, I sent her an email saying how much I enjoyed the story, how much I appreciated the work and effort she obviously put into it, and thanked her for uploading it to AO3. She responded the next day and thanked me for my message, then said she had a few more stories in the same series that she hadn't gotten around to uploading. I checked this morning--she added a 35,000 word novella and thanked me in the summary.
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do you think gurathin had to delete some of his own stuff to make space for secunit.
I don't mean anything dramatic like childhood memories or important like spy records, like he'd probably just sift through some technical stuff, sort it by the least used or last opened and go for it, not like he has time and brain capacity to think
I don't actually think he had to delete anything aside from a few hundreds episodes of Sanctuary Moon, but I like the way you think.
But let's be a bit angsty about it. What if he had no control over what memories are going to be deleted? And he knew it could be something important, something he saved to his augment because he cherished these memories? Like his early days in Preservation. Him getting to know the team. First dinner with Bharadwaj. Mensah taking his hands in her own for the first time. Ratthi taking him him to the planet. And yet he decides that fuck it, those memories aren't as valuable as SecUnit and its crappy (but important for some reason) show.
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