Three dollars and some change

If you were going to mysteriously disappear and presumably die in the wilderness in a way that would baffle the media and netizens for decades to come, where would you choose to vanish from? Are you like an Appalachian mountains person or a southeastern swamp person or a southwestern desert person or a vast prairie sort of guy? Personally, I think I’d go Pacific Northwest but not like Oregon or Washington, I’d go Alaska or British Columbia because these are rugged and sparsely populated areas I have zero experience with or connections too, I feel like they’re both certified classic disappearance spots for depressed white guys in their 20s and the RCMP and Alaska State Troopers are both so fucking inept and bad at their jobs that I could walk 5 feet off a trail in any direction and it would be a mystery forever.

For maximum mysterious vanishing, I’d leave conflicting evidence indicating I was in Alaska but had possibly crossed the border into British Columbia and this would be a jurisdictional nightmare for all investigating agencies and ensure they’d all be too busy ignoring each other or fighting to actually look into what might have happened to me.

guys if they go missing we all know where to look

“I think he is somewhere within this 1 million square mile area. Dunno though.”

If you drive 30 minutes outside the lower mainland you are in the middle of an unpeopled landscape

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

there are simply no words in the english language that can describe starting on thursday the fourth. thats how iconic it is

choosing to start on friday the fifth. i just think its very inspiring

Thinking about the whole "there is no platonic explanation for this" thing and how it doesn't account for intense platonic situationships and anyways I think we should start saying "there is no casual explanation for this" bc really what we're talking about is the way the characters in question are Obsessed with each other

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.

The "these two things are not related" at the end absolutely elevates this to god tier