Welcome to the Grab Bag

You are at the grocery store. You pick up a nice, girthy zucchini. You head over to the oils and pick up a thing of olive oil. Then a packet of condoms.

Satisfied with your selections, you head to the cashier. As you place the items on the conveyor, a voice shouts: "DON'T SELL THOSE! THAT'S GOING UP A BUTT!"

And then for some reason, the cashier agrees. Then the guy who shouted, this fuckass guy in a suit, marches up to the counter and starts demanding that the store never sell any vegetables that could be put up a butt. He starts out pointing at the zucchinis and cucumbers and carrots, but you heard what he said: he's effectively banning every vegetable, just enforcing it selectively.

You ask the cashier if he's corporate or something. The cashier says no. The manager? No. He works here at least? No.

Who the fuck is he, then?

Well, the cashier explains, he's the bank manager from the next street over. He's taken up a moral crusade against vegetables that might go into rectums and if they don't obey him, he won't take anyone's paychecks or any money from any store that opposes him. And his bank is the only bank in the region, so it'd be a huge hassle for the business and the employees.

Keep using your brain and trying that hard thing no matter how foggy. Feel stupid! It's ok! I promise you are not stupid. I promise your brain will appreciate it. And that with time it will be valuable that you tried.

It's so easy to lose a whole week to brain fog. But your brain and body don't just stop existing that week (though it can feel that way). It's so important to try to incorporate puzzles anyway. Cook a meal from a scratch, do a jigsaw, the wordle, sudoku, use your other hand, learn a new card game, watch a brand new show, do simple math equations, write words backwards, learn a new language (or even just random phrases from a few), play a podcast, read a fun article or magazine, try a new creative project. Something! To help you feel better longer and keep your brains synapses synapsing.

Find a way to push yourself into it. Ask a friend to do it with you, set a timer, build it into your routine, have a bunch of fun games on your phone, puzzles by the bed, set your google to open straight to wordle.

TO CLARIFY: neuroplasticity is magic. And CONTRARY to prior belief it does not just stop after like 25. The brain can recover in exceptional ways so if you feel behind, or feel like you lost so much of what you knew due to a deep spell of illness or depression or injury; it's never too late. Never too late to nuture your brain to a better state of health.

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

Shoutout to the people whose parents support lgbt rights but never told their kids until they were in their teens or twenties because they said it was “difficult to explain to children”.

Shoutout to the people whose religious communities came out in support just a little too late.

Shoutout to everyone afraid to come out just because they know they’ll be safe physically but they don’t know how everything will change socially.

Shoutout to everyone whose internalized homophobia that they’re trying to overcome came from subtle cues and not explicit statements.