as many times as it takes

ITS EVOCATIVE! LIKE GREAT BIG HUGE BANANAS EXCEPT SHARP!

im laughing because whoever filmed this obviously filmed it to see the slime mold move and then this slug comes and ruins everything

she just wanted a tasty snack dont be mean to her!!

i found the video it’s from and it’s called “Myxomycetologists nightmare…”

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

honey he has a fish for a head

So what, all of a sudden mermaids aren't hot?

“but he did [this horrific thing]” i am neither his keeper nor happy with every single decision he makes. Also he is not real

do you understand how much of a piece of shit you have to be today to be a repoman/tow truck driver/bounty hunter? like genuinely your day job is to just go to people at their most miserable point in their lives, poor people mind you, those who have been failed by society, and basically at the point of a gun take away the things they desperately need to survive. to do that day by day and laugh at them as they cry and beat them back when they try to fight you have to be one of the most arrogant smug self-serving assholes out there, on par with a cop or imperial soldier, just like to be able to mentally handle it

this topic is something that is interesting to me bc this is a character type that is actually heavily valorized in media. and growing up I was like okay I see all these movies abt these badass desperado wandering adventurers or whatever and I know it's all like wildly out there but obviously there has to be at least some historical basis for these tropes. and so you know I read up on my historical bounty hunters and adventurers and badmen and mercenaries and such and I was like oh these were quite awful characters. sure they got up to crazy feats from time to time but by god. and then as I grew older I realized that this exact same valorized-and-shamed socially-necessary-social-outcast absolutely exists to this day they're just mostly centered around forced seizure of economic assets and labor as opposed to say colonial expansion or intercolonial/imperial conflict. which makes sense bc we live in capitalism. anyways where was I going with this? oh yeah once you see this you can't stop seeing how so much of our media is built around how cool and badass the repoman is when he comes to take away your car and force your cousin back into slavery for breaking parole

in some sense I think it all started when in Honduran history class they showed a picture of William Walker or something and it was subtitled "the adventurer William Walker" (or something like that my memory is hazy). and I was like huh? but adventurers are good and cool right? quick facts on top of being despised by Central Americans he was also despised by even the US Southern politicians who he was legitimately trying to serve by creating more slave states in order to give them political power (did you know early in his career he used to be an abolitionist?). and of course despised by the British who turned him back over to Honduras to be executed. but after he died the same US South that found him a thorn in their side tried to recoup him and turn him into this dashing tragic figure. and I was like so that's what adventurer really means huh. I wonder what else that's true for

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels