now we need a bigger dumpster & a book of matches

being some fucking guy on tumblr is so crucial for me it keeps me humble and, importantly, stupid

Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️

Reblog to have your dashboard be visited by the spirit of joy that death can end but not erase.

Thank you to everyone who commented in their tags or messaged me. Indeed, today is “Martin and Bosco Day”. I originally whimsically blazed this photo on 13 July 2022. I never expected Martin and Bosco to travel so far and make so many new friends. The experience has been such a gift for me.

youre making mommy want to smoke

This is the diametric opposite of "we popping the biggest bottles when Makorra happens"

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

no 🛩️

anotha one🛩️

@bob-artist This is important!!!

A!

i have a secret third opinion about self dx discourse which is “why are you guys treating the DSM like it’s the fucking bible”

the amount of leftists who uncritically support the DSM-5—wielding it online in battles against random individuals who might be “faking” a disorder—boggles my fucking mind. you guys realize that the DSM-5 isn’t the only diagnostic manual on the planet, right? you realize that we place it at the top of the global hierarchy because it’s american, right? has it occurred to you that the APA shouldn’t have so much authority over what counts as a “real” mental illness? has it occurred to you that perhaps there are other diagnostic manuals? in fact, there are dimensional models that don’t rely on sorting individuals into “disorder/no disorder” boxes in the first place. food for thought, lmao

I NEED A SICKO… im holding out for a sicko till the end of the night ..and hes gotta haha and hes gotta say yess at the window with a look of delight

I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.

Or even like... Cannon warfare.

Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

There’s a cool trick you can do where you pour a shot and then add an expired antidepressant to it and it gets you super fucked up so you can save money when you go out for the night. In other news I just discovered that if you ask any man at a goth rave if you can bite him he will say yes. He thinks he’s getting laid but you can just bite him super hard and walk away. Life is full of beautiful moments

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her