Softcore-Parkour

28 year old tumblr users will look at you and say do you remember thwomp day of 2013 when everyone was posting thwomp from mario 64 in different audio

people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.

The other day i was getting rizzd the fuck upp by the crunchy latino cashier at trader joes. Just having a blast. Then the whole vibe changed when my card declined .

but i believe aang can save the world

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

doctors hate when you have a cursory question about any single chronic illness or pain but they also hate when you have any level of knowledge about anything medical ever. interesting

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

i could blog better than this but i won't

A level 99 blacksmith just offered bottom surgery with mythril but idkkkk chat what kind of enchantments should I put on that thang?

bane of arthropods. i won't disclose anything but you'll need it for later. trust me on this one

i would really prefer a spoiler in this case

in modern day it's very easy to look at batman and be like "WHAT was this guy doing. Insane choice. You do NOT have to fight crime this way" but then you learn literally anything about the US in 1900-1939 and you're like "oh a batman terrifying people would have actually for real improved the situation"

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

well I think you odyssey a different movie

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

the implication of saying hi

Saying hi ending explained

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

well. that one’s on me