hi i am just existing

why the long face

legitimately my first time seeing a gar from the top down view and my god, thats like if someones math class doodle came to life

what a privilege it is to come home to a little animal that loves you like you're their whole world.

[This meeting could have been an email voice]: This romcom should have been a horror movie

girl will suffer unearthly tragedies and still run errands the same day with a smile on their face but if a mans parents divorce when he is 12 he will unleash his wrath on the world for the rest of his life

Ad blocking/reporting should have some sort of an "I never want to see this fucking ad again and if you fail me and show it to me again I will track down where you live and fucking kill you" option.

you never know what someone is going through. for instance i didnt know i was going through anything until about 2 years later. i thought i was just chilling

I think when you're going through it you're too focused getting through it to realize you're going through it

In elementary school, my best friend and I had this game we would play where we were school supplies living inside a child's desk and going on slice-of-life adventures inside it. And I remember that a key component of our school supply society was a sort of religious schism that existed around the purpose and nature of the giant hand that occasionally reached in to grab different citizens, use them, and then return them, because most school supplies considered this an auspicious and enviable moment of being selected for a greater purpose and allowed a glimpse of a vast truth, but pencils considered it a horrible portent of doom because they always got sharpened during it and came back smaller and closer to death. We were third graders btw.

tumblr should add a "meat" button onto posts that's like the like button but it indicates you want to cut the user up into meat chunks and eat it for dinner

What if you're a vegetarian?

i guess in that case you can just cut them up and then throw it away without eating it

stretching a computer pelt on the tanning rack and scraping all the data off

Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall