Parabola of Mystery

some people are afraid to be cheesy. I live my whole life on the charcuterie board

the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.

this is how morbius can still win

like first of all… yes we do!!!!

hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe

Thunderstorms are nature’s most fuckable events

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

is this ship popular because it’s legitimately compelling or is it popular because it’s the easiest to decontextualize and write college roommate AUs about?

this post broke containment and is getting ‘let people have fun and enjoy things’ comments, so i want to clarify that i hate fun and want to personally bludgeon everyone who has ever written a college roommate AU with a hammer

thinking about how 4chan users overuse of the slur 'fag' to refer to each other eventually mutated into the word functioning more like a suffix used to denote a callsign, '[identifying detail]-fag', in lieu of people identifying each other by names, and how because of this gay guys would refer to themselves themselves as 'gayfags' when they needed to clarify that they were indeed actually gay when referring to themselves as faggots

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

(clears my throat and stands at a podium) cock