Parabola of Mystery

been working on unlearning male defaultism in the ways I speak to people and I've replaces "guys" with "crew". and you know what? it's SO fun. addressing the readers of my posts with a "kia ora crew!" and saying farewell to my friends with a "bye crew!!" is so delightful. everyone should adopt a fun way to address people. peace and love

i love the way civil asset forfeiture cases are phrased

at my local thrift warehouse where nothing’s priced and you make an offer on all the stuff you find. well i told the person at the register i’m on a budget and didn’t know if i could afford a rug i wanted and asked what they’d take for it and without missing even half a beat they said “how about a cup of blood?” then they started hopping up and down like a cheerleader and said “cup! of! blood!”

we settled on seventeen dollars cash.

the problem is i love to riff with people so it got deeply deeply weird for about 3 and a half minutes before we finally agreed on the price.

screaaaammm somebody just called me a bootlicker for being annoyed that my coworker is so bad at her job thats its making everyone elses jobs way fucking harder i can never ever ever ever turn anon off

Majority of this website will go to warrrr for coworkers that make everyone’s life miserable bc they’re the coworker who makes everyone’s life miserable

one of the best things about commie utopia would be that your incompetent coworker could be fired without ruining their life...I spent like 6 extra months with a coworker who fucked everything up constantly because our boss didn't want him to lose his visa and in an ideal world you could be just kind of bad at things without that being grounds for deportation y'know

One argument about UBI I like to make to people is to think of the most unbearable coworker they've ever had, or the worst customer experience they've ever had, and consider whether the world wouldn't actually be a better place if some people simply did not work

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

Reblog to give mutuals a break from whatever they're been going through