Parabola of Mystery

fries. envelopes. ive been awake for 18 hours can i go to bed now.

you know i think the fact that friends and enemies autocorrected to this and i didn't notice is reason enough i should sleep

i think it’s important to be able to take a step back and recognize that you rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrcvkxxxxjnfrg782]]]]2AQ

i was Thinking but i got up to get coffee and i came back to discover that one of my cats walked across my keyboard and posted this early for me and you know what. they summed it up far more succinctly than i ever could

some people are afraid to be cheesy. I live my whole life on the charcuterie board

My most socially disabling Too Woke thing is noticing how men won't get the fuck out of your way. Like it doesn't even occur to them that they can move out of your fucking way. I need to start letting them just walk directly into me and pushing their chairs so I can quite literally sit at the table etc. This isn't a metaphor I had that second one happen the other day

I will be at the function where everyone's sitting in a circle and there will be a man sitting directly in front of me for no fucking reason so I'm literally physically kind of pushed off to the side. And I'm expected to not start killing them about it

REMEMBER IF YOU HONK ALLYOU AT ME I WILL HONK HONK IF YOU GET ANY CLOSER U HAVE TO HONK IF IF YOU WILL IF I HONK MYSELF WANT HONK IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY HONK

You guys call anything Catholic just because it's christian and vibesy. "oh he's southern and makes me feel bad about myself" girl that's a baptist

wallace and grallace

One of the great things about reading Agatha Christie is sometimes you come across dialogue like "Yes, I can see that I'm quite recognizable as an old pussy. There are so many old pussies, and they're all so much alike."

disco elysium has convinced me by the way. the only way to have a game is to take away all of the normal, neutral options. don't let people have those. force them to contort.

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine