Parabola of Mystery

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

You show up and Michael B Jordan is sitting in both seats.

☝️only funny addition so far. I’m actually shocked nobody else thought of that yet

"i just don't like masculine women" literally i'm so sorry for you loss. i hope you get well soon

Been talking to this Uber driver for like 35 minutes and he let me have a hit of his vape

He told me about the time his brother's truck got stolen and his grandma called the local cartel to be like WHERE IS IT and they were apparently like "It wasn't us but we'll find out who did it" and I was like damn that's crazy

He told me "I could tell your dog loved you by the way it was staring at you as we left. It misses you" and I was like [COUGH COUGH WHEEZE] dont do this to me man

friend asked me today “can you get cancelled on tumblr” and i realized that they really have never been on here

people just aren't stealing bones from graveyards or admiting to having child slaves in the family like they used to :/

[woman who has never been gentle with herself voice] I just need to be more disciplined

penis blast nefarious

diverse types of penis blast call the penis blast various

penis blast electrical

penis blast delectable

penis blast campaigning call the penis blast electable

That dumb bitch can't even see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch

As someone who isn't a furry but has very much grown up around furry art I kinda forget that it's shocking to some people. It's kinda just what a bunch of queer art looks like. That anthro dragon girl might as well be my coworker, what's your fucking problem?

I just learned about this recently from a Viking reenactor! Indigo dye isn't blue until it oxidizes, so when you dye with indigo your cloth or thread doesn't come out of the water blue, it comes out and then reacts with the oxygen in the air and seems to spontaneously turn blue in front of your eyes. It's a really cool process to witness.

Everyone on tumblr has Conditions. maladies. I log onto tumblr and my mutuals are unwellposting. Conditions I didn't even know existed and sound like dark curses but I will see a post from friend like "died about 60% today, fine now. Made egg on toast #yummytoast". There are so many people in this world with life experiences

people who take photos of their plushies in locations are awesome