Parabola of Mystery

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

its true though sex scenes are bad and you only are defending them cuz you wont question that men put their fetishes into everything. movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes and if rhey do its not gratuitous and lasts two seconds or its played for comedy . Fuck you and your dinners idc bro

movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes

i mean, it’s true! as long as you discount the crazy outliers like Jane Campion, Mary Harron, Sofia Coppola, Andrea Arnold, Julia Ducournau, Claire Denis, Céline Sciamma, Anna Biller, Jennifer Kent, Eliza Hittman, Cheryl Dunye, Dee Rees, Donna Deitch, Joanna Hogg, Rose Glass, Diablo Cody, Emma Seligman, Kitty Green, Halina Reijn, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Charlotte Wells,

Famously, women as a group have never had anything to say about sex. Certainly not artistically speaking.

I want a video game with realistic dick and balls physics not for any prurient reason, but... okay, so you know how in some games with boob physics, there's a palpable delay after a character model is instantiated before physics start to apply to the boobs, so it's like *pop* ... *FWOMP*? I want to see the cock version of that. Penis-having character spawns in, there's a beat, then the physics engine tries to play catch-up and applies a full second of gravitational acceleration to their junk all at once and they just randomly start helicoptering.

(For those saying this is making them picture a character's penis flapping in the breeze like a flag on a pole or laundry on a line, that was actually, literally happening at launch. I'm not sure if they ever fixed it.)

australian sour patch kids have gluten in them i am truly at my fucking limit im crashing out im waging war against wheat idgaf anymore

oh is that one of those things where ableist companies put in traces of common allergens so they can just avoid the cost of making it safe

WHAT

The Gaslighting Magician: This is your card

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

*Puts hand over gaud’s mouth* It’s a butterfly pea. Please ignore the Latin name.

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

so i think the solution is to give dachshunds a third pair of legs right in the middle

of course, the best part of any character's corruption arc is their cool new outfit

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

listening to ribs by lorde like FUCKKKK she was only 14 she should have been at the. algebra test