Infinite Man

I’m a self-proclaimed nostalgia whore, the type of guy who’ll give in to the little devil on his shoulder saying, “binge-watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade! Who cares if you just sat through Raiders of the Lost Ark and Temple of Doom? It’s a Sunday.” Now what if I were to tell you all of those classic 80s and 90s action heroes we all love have been united Expendables-style for a full throttle shoot ‘em up? Because it’s here, and it’s Broforce.

With an army of vintage bros, it’s your mission to turn all opposers into swiss (or maybe deep fried) cheese with each bro’s brand of badassery. I’m talking Rambo, Ash Williams, MacGyver and Robocop – only they’ve been given aliases – so instead it’s Rambro, Ash Brolliams, MacBrover and Robrocop.

Levels come in short bursts, amounting to as little as twenty seconds, meanwhile others can pack a heavier punch when pitted against an unyielding boss. Although it’s one shot and dead for your bro, I still held a sense of being this merciless force throughout: the type of soldier hell-bent on waging a one-man war, only to grip a chopper’s hanging ladder and bust out of there last second while uttering, “this is for the people.”

It’s a game best understood when you are in on the joke and better enjoyed in the company of friends. As a group of four, we haphazardly dispatched Satan (your underlying adversary) alongside his army of foes in under 3 hours and thus the pinnacle of manliness was achieved. Mission accomplished.

    Every weeknight, I would pretend sleep until 12:30 to unfold my bedcovers and covertly watch re-runs of South Park without awakening my parents. I was 8 when this began and continuously I voyaged into Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s antics with world-consuming Dawson’s Creek trapper keepers, Catman’s diabolical cons, a Mecha-Streisand, and stick and cardboard battles for Back Door Sluts 9 (which makes Naughty Nurses 2 look like Crotch Capers 3). Years of late nights and accompanying dreams established an unfounded adolescent maturity that no other late-night program gave me. Essentially, South Park’s impractical narrative cultured me in ways no parent or prior experiences ever could.

      Being a staple of my upbringing, anything South Park related has piqued my interest; although Let’s Go Tower Defense Play! was the sole game that felt worthy of its license. The 1998 snowball-tossing FPS for Nintendo 64 and Playstation bored after only an hour of bland turkey slaughter, as well as the derivative side-scroller Tenorman’s Revenge that turns two this month. The couple other South Park games – those being Chef’s Luv Shack and South Park Rally – are worth a single sit-down (at best) and not much beyond that.

      That said, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I had hesitations towards South Park: The Stick of Truth. So much can be expected from Matt and Trey (the type of guys who would take acid and wear dresses to the Academy Awards), yet their critical involvement in the game’s production gave me a glimmer of hope. That, and the combination of Obsidian Entertainment – the James Cameron of video game sequel-makers. Now, after multiple delays, the bankruptcy of their publisher THQ, and the rights being scooped up by Ubisoft, does South Park: The Stick of Truth succeed as well as its TV counterpart? Let’s just say, if you are like Satan and expecting a Ferrari cake, don’t be appalled when you receive an Acura cake instead. 

What is it like?

      Enter you: the new kid in town. After pasting together your customized character (while being oddly limited to a male-only option), you are hastily ushered outside by your parents to make friends in the neighborhood. Nearby you come across paladin Butters mid-battle with a fourth grade drow elf begging for your saving grace; and so begins your adventure.

      In no time you are taken under the wing of grand wizard Cartman to complete make-believe quests and collectively undermine the elven faction two houses down. Protecting (and eventually reclaiming) the all-powerful Stick of Truth is your over-arching goal, yet – as the branded absurdity of South Park goes – this inevitably blows up into something that puts the fate of the entire planet at stake.

      For the first time in quite a while, this iteration of South Park did not construct itself around current affairs, which felt like a break from the mold – a step back to the goofy ingenuity of earlier seasons. Although I never was heaving with laughter, I feel comfortable calling this the funniest game I’ve ever played – and even the best use of a licensed material to date. Matt, Trey and Obsidian Entertainment have skillfully crafted something very authentic to its roots and crammed it full of past relics to please South Park fans of all degrees.  

How does it look and sound?

      The Stick of Truth does not merely take stabs at being a game in the South Park universe – it whole-heartedly embraces it. Essentially, this is a 10 to 12-hour extension of the show; a carbon copy of what Matt and Trey’s 17 years of dedication has evolved into, culminating nearly every joke, every reference that was/can be made. These callbacks flood the screen, especially so on City Hall message boards and in the closets of Kyle, Cartman and Kenny – but not Stan because Tom Cruise has locked himself inside there. The Stick of Truth may have a case of easter egg overload, but never does it detract away from its story.

      Everything down to the show’s infamous post-commercial guitar twang has a place in The Stick of Truth and nearly everyone can be interacted with at one point or another. There are 120 of the show’s characters to befriend, ranging from the still-manic Al Gore and his ManBearPig alter-ego, Underpants Gnomes, Mr. Hankey, Towlie, and even Crab People. Along the way you will also discover a laundry list of Chinpokomon gone incognito in the corners and bushes of South Park – each one triggering the Season 3 episode’s mock-Japanese rock anthem once captured. Needless to say, there is plenty to do and be found within the meticulously constructed streets of this snow-drenched Colorado town. And never before has South Park felt so seamlessly constructed, a definite highlight for those ever wondering what the inside of Tom’s Rhinoplasty looked like.

  How does it play? 

      As far as turn-based RPGs go, The Stick of Truth seems to fall flat in the middle. Each battle pits you toe-to-toe against an array of foes as both sides chip away at each other’s health bar, typically through standard weapon attacks until you learn moves which require the use of PP. PP is essentially mana, essential for the use of five or more attacks that differ on the character trope you fulfill – those being: Mage, Warrior, Thief, or Jew. In my case, I chose Jew; a class which endows me with a ricocheting dreidel, a pocket blade to circumcise my enemies, and even David’s slingshot alongside other moves with likewise innuendos. Soon enough, attacks become more varied with the inclusion of farts – used as a sort of remix to be placed mid-attack. Farts can also be standard attacks with their variability of power, however this triggers The Stick of Truth’s biggest fault: joke repetition.

      A comrade of choice accompanies you at all times (like Jimmy playing a musically-enchanted bard, or Butters with his healing ‘pat on the back’ ability) and each wields unique haymaker-like attacks. Jimmy, for instance, can harness the “Brown Note” through a mountain-spanning horn he huffs into which causes all enemies to unload a hurricane of shit onto the battlefield. Despite their stunting power, it didn’t take long before I was avoiding their protracting use to expedite the progress of the story. The depth of combat quickly thinned as I uncovered a string of attacks that upper-handed every squad of Nazi Fetuses and Canadian dire wolves I encountered. At no point in the game’s last four hours was I ever challenged, let alone forced to improvise a new attack pattern – a problem that nearly bankrupted my engagement.

      For roughly one-third of the adventure, the only noticeable change-up was in my armor and weapon augments. These patches involved a girth of complexity in deciphering which items would compliment each other best. Initially, I utilized bubble gum and a dead bird for a health deflating gross out perk – similar to poisoning your foe in Pokémon. Through natural progression, your inventory will soon flood with gear to experiment with and sync to your battle plan; although as you level up, so will the armor and weapons you uncover. It seems that towards the game’s conclusion, players were ultimately left with little more than a handful of options to outfit themselves with dependent on which augments they chose.

      Most elements of personalization come from the skill trees implemented within The Stick of Truth’s Facebook-inspired menu system. Each upgrade is earned in two ways: through battle experience or making new friends – and there are two motives of improvement: in bettering your PP-required attacks or natural skills (like burn resistance or increased health). Besides improving specific attacks, it was clear the natural skill tree mirrored every other class type – a clear deterrence for me to play the game a second time with ulterior motives.

Final Verdict: B-

      As a way to organize my long and short-form writing, I've manufactured a portal for more regularly posted material. Pixel Pier will house more off-the-tongue stories primarily highlighting on the indie market.

      Each previous installment’s Templar hunter has been flushed-out (with the exception of AC3’s blank-slated Connor), bustling with motives that get altogether engulfed by a finale commandeered towards segments of supernatural prowess. Actual historical figures are cleverly inserted – most notably Leonardo da Vinci prime with an arsenal of his most infamous inventions (such as the flying machine) – to assist the player and better ground each story into a sense of realism.

      The second-half of Assassin Creed’s appeal has been the framework it built upon itself. Famous cities of Florence, Jerusalem and Boston had been expertly crafted and gasping with quests to “shiv that dastardly doer” and “scale that monument.” Every go-around was fueled by authentic thrills, mixed with moments of awe and education – and that’s rare for a game. After 20-40+ hours, I went from a clueless bloke to a well-versed fella who could identify the difference between architecture of Renaissance-age Rome and twelfth-century Damascus, as well as name a handful of landmarks for each city.

      However, after six years and six games, does Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag beg the question: is the series still improving upon its initial formula and providing enough new material to satisfy, or has it all turned so trite with repetition that it’s beginning to borderline Bill Murray’s existence in Groundhog Dog?

What’s it like?

      Questioning the stagnant-ism of Black Flag is valid, but in a way, unruly. Assassin’s Creed may seem like an old dog, but in welcoming the pirate-turned-assassin, Edward Kenway, you’ll discover he presents some new tricks. Let me prove it to you…

Re-hashings from before:

Lackluster eavesdropping missions

Monotonous building ascending

Dense amount of collectables

Stealth-based assassination contracts

Frozen or idiotic hand-to-hand combat moments

  Added/improved elements:

Well-refined, gripping naval battles/ship takeovers

Deep sea diving segments

Wide array of puzzles in and out of the Animus

Hunting, most notably harpooning sharks and whales

Intense fort takeovers

Exploring the world for buried treasure/Mayan artifacts

      Regardless of the fact, there is plenty to be done and seen within Black Flag’s minimum 25-hour asking time.

      Taking a step aside from every edition before it, all future-day events previously inhabited by Desmond Miles’ “life on the run” are now co-inhabited by…well, you. Hired by the Templar-owned Abstergo Entertainment, this ingenious alleviation from the hull of Black Flag’s pirateering has “you” excavating the story of Edward Kenway. As an employee, “you” are given a desk, well-equipped computer and table capable of deconstructing the DNA and memories of relatives to your swashbuckling protagonist. The ploy of this scenario is a very tongue-in-cheek approach towards stringing together every game before it. The likes of Altair, Ezio, Connor and even AC: Liberation’s Aveline will appear as virtual memories open to the public for their own educational or entertaining viewing pleasure. Besides adding to the library of Abstergo’s vicarious past-life simulations, “you” can also prod through various departments of the offices to hack and uncover a vault of hidden backstory.

How’s it look?

      Alike every counterpart to these next-level platformers, Black Flag bases itself in a sense of realism. Ubisoft prides itself in the enormous amount of research they do in replicating cities centuries old, as it shows. Havana, Kingston and many of the scattered islands are bustling with life, albeit it is unengaging life. The inhabitants feel stiff and withdrawn from the inexplicable roof-racing and wild behaviors you perform as an ironclad assassin. Signs of age are unequivocally apparent in city-roaming sections, perhaps the greatest pitfall and area in need of reinvention for future titles in the series.

      The bulk of my gametime was spent at sea: a vast, well-tapped environment that captures oceanic life and the animation of it better than any game has done before. The current that whips the salty foam atop overlapping waves will churn towards you and drown underneath Edward’s vessel as you navigate past surfacing whales and sunken galleons. Various ships will be illuminated in the distance, each cannon and wafting sail viewable alongside a full-functioning crew. Below the bubbling sealine, its depths are festering with treasures guarded by coltish eels, phosphorescent jellies and ravenous sharks. Undeniably the most eye-catching and enhanced slice of Black Flag’s campaign, it seems impossible for Assassin’s Creed to move forward without the inclusion of this nautical feat.

How’s it play?

      Uncompromising to Ubisoft’s slumping template; Black Flag stays true to the imperfect combat mechanics they have remained constant since 2007’s Assassin’s Creed. In much need of an overhaul, enemies will still wait their turn as you slaughter their comrades one by one, hardly posing a threat to your massive healthbar. Akin to each previous title, as well, there is no difficulty level, meaning the only possibility of death or challenge remains at sea or from clumsily dropping from incredible heights. Pistols and rope darts make a comeback, however the paramount inclusions were sleep and berserk darts (borrowed from Aveline’s arsenal). Both heavily aid Edward in perplexing stealth segments or – in a more gratifying manor – by creating hilarious brawls between wary soldiers. Despite all these garnishes added to diversify the combat, the majority of fights are spent hammering “attack, attack, attack, counter, attack, attack, attack, attack, counter, counter, attack, shoot…and everyone is dead.” After performing these button smashes about 100 times, you’ll do anything to divert yourself from fighting anyone.

      Graciously, however, Ubisoft did dedicate enough attention to the opportunity naval skirmishes imposed. An enormous amount of strategy comes in taking on forts, larger ships or entire fleets of them. Through practice, you will hone the skills it takes in dwindling a towering brig: by the efforts of long-distance mortar shots, broadside ramming it and eventually bombarding its hull with cannon blasts and crippling fire barrels. Before capsizing the enemy ship, Edward is given the option to board it – a staple to any pirate’s day-to-day activities. These segments, however fun at first, eventually wear thin (and are thankfully avoidable) as the tediousness of the hand-to-hand combat involves itself once again.

Final Verdict: A-

      Symbiotic relationships are an intriguing matter: how one event or action can have an alternate – if not unexpected – impact upon another. Gaming, besides its usefulness to improve cognitive reaction time and hand-eye coordination, has found further advantages over the human mind. Behold the latest discovery… frequent game playing allegedly holds power over the dreamscape.

      The unearthing of this phenomenon began in a Canadian household at the break of the 1990s. Jayne Gackenbach, a psychologist at Grand MacEwan University, was riveted by her son Teace’s fascination over his Super Nintendo – namely in the various ways her son’s hobby could become self-impactful. An inquisition in Gackenbach sparked the question: how could hardcore game-playing (pertaining to regular play sessions of more than 2 hours, several times a week) morph insights into the waking and nocturnal landscapes?

      Her most recent findings, published in Dreaming, verified her beliefs whereas diehard gamers were more likely than their peers to be overcome within a lucid dream. 125 gamers and non-gamers were surveyed, in which Gackenbach and her colleagues found there to be a strong correlation that proved her hypothesis.

      "The major parallel between gaming and dreaming is that, in both instances, you're in an alternate reality, whether a biological construct or a technological one," she says. "It's interesting to think about how these alternate realities translate to waking consciousness, when you are actually reacting to inputs from the real world."

      Ensuing these studies, Gackenbach found further evidence that during each lucid dream, gamers displayed a strong sense to govern themselves as a character – at the point where many subjects could even toggle between a first and third-person perspective (much alike a Bethesda game, or Minecraft).

      "Gamers already know what it's like to be in control in an alternate reality," Gackenbach states. "So it makes sense that a gamer would notice, ‘hey, I'm in a dream,' and know how to manipulate that situation."

      According to some of her prior research, it was established that under intense and overly-daunting situations – better recognized as nightmares – gamers seemed to be unfazed in comparison to non-gamers, with the ability to hone in and tackle these extreme circumstances more efficiently. This resulted in more bizarre dreams for gamers: typically involving a combination of outlandish, whimsical scenarios with space travel and imaginary characters.

      The eBay seller, muresan, claims its original owner "probably wrote on there long ago not having a clue what they actually had." Defaced or not, the winning bidder just captured a holy grail of video games; one of only 116 -- twenty-six of those being gold cartridges.

      Originally, this rarity was manufactured for a Nintendo-promoted competition pitting players ages 11 and up in a 6 minute and 21 second sprint to score as many points in three classic NES titles: Super Mario Bros., Rad Racer and Tetris. The event was loosely based off the 1989 Fred Savage movie, The Wizard.

      Co-founders of Infinity Ward Jason West and Vince Zampella sourly left their publisher, Activision, in 2011 to establish Respawn Entertainmaint and eventually develop what Microsoft's VP would coin as their 'big, big system seller for Xbox One.' Alpha testing for Titanfall was made available by sign-up recently, and within days gameplay footage was leaked.

tf by Shyakugaun

TitanFall - Leaked Closed Alpha Gameplay #8 by game-eXperience

      After bogarting more than 60 awards at 2013's E3 -- including a record-breaking six Critics Awards -- the multiplayer action above is further evidence that Titanfall is worth its overarching excitement. The game's core mechanics promise an accelerated pace of battle moving horizontally and vertically whether by foot or mech. Clinging to windowsills, intercepting bullets/missiles and impromptu mid-air gunfights after mech ejection all seem to be part of Titanfall's DNA. This could possibly be the run-and-gun overdrive that will lambast nearly every one of your senses.

Con Rewind is a segment dedicated to summarizing news revealed at popular conventions.

      2014's opening week was rung in by some booming announcements from within the Consumer Electronics Show. The news which echoed the loudest came from gaming platform leaders Sony and Valve: both harboring ideas to push the boundaries of how living room consoles are used today. Conferences were staged, hardware was on display, and here is what's worth noting...

       Into the spotlight stepped Playstation Now, an innovative game streaming service to be introduced this summer. Imagine it as the Netflix of video games -- capable of bringing titles from Sony's first era to their current generation -- all playable on platforms that were previously uncharted territory. For instance, if young boy Dino wanted to conquer the first two God of Wars during a pitiful 30-hour roundtrip flight to and from Greece, (so long as the plane has wi-fi) Dino could be sword-kabobbing Zeus on his Vita by the time he lands back home.

      This is all possible by the utilization of two things:

A stable 5 mbps connection speed

The implementation of Gaikai, a cloud gaming service

      No price has not been given for Playstation Now or whether it will be combinable with a PS-Plus membership, however it is known that there is an option of individual rentals. The unveiling of this games-always-on-deck service could help Sony further capitalize on the gaming market, quintessentially after outselling the Xbox One by 1.2 million units last year.

      Donning a food-crusted black polo and golden mane, Valve co-founder Gabe Newell gave way to 13 variant Steam Machine models. A unique manufacturer created each with observation to differing characteristics among varying breeds of game players. Seen in the CES showroom handout below, certain models can hold anywhere between 1 TB to 6 TB of space and range in size from a large pizza oven to a household router.  

      Alienware has manufactured a system built to compete directly against opponents Playstation 4 and Xbox One, yet Gabe Newell spoke openly towards competition within the market. Said during his recorded speech shown above:

"The PC is successful because we're all benefiting from the competition with each other... So last year we said, okay, we're going to be building some of these machines. We built them and have given them out to people. And today we're taking the next step. And the next step is to say that there are a bunch of other hardware manufacturers who are also going to be introducing the Steam Machines."

      Looking for something to quench your unrelenting thirst for the upcoming Super Smash Bros? Or perhaps all these flashy new holiday releases are leaving you parched -- hankering for that familiar, oldfangled feeling from long ago. If so, call off the search party. This is for you:

What makes it great?

     As developers have steered towards online connectivity within a global audience, Samurai Gunn brings it all back to local play. It harkens to the ol' days when you, your closest friend(s), and a 12-pack of Mountain Dew dominated the living room battlegrounds. The simplicity of Samurai Gunn isn't contained to its 8-bit perspective, but also its controls -- specifically the pick-up-and-play ease of them.

      Each player operates an 8-bit samurai (skewering katana and all) with a gun which shoots saiyan-like energy blasts. Gameplay presents a cavalcade of classic ideas re-skinned -- like wall jumping and bullet deflection -- which can manifest into moments so tense your knuckles will turn white. Requiring connection of only a single slice or bullet toss, death comes easily, keeping for a fast-paced ebb and flow of combat. Playing between two controllers can create some nerve bundling moments, however the greatest thrills came between four samurai.

Why should I play this?

      If Star Fox met Quake III Arena, their wet dream would be Strike Vector. Initially pigeonholed as an air combat game, after its recognition through Steam Greenlight, Strike Vector has shaped further into a first/third-person shooter with a dash of racing elements. Soaring overhead an exhausted array of plane simulated games, Strike Vector could retain a longevity with players where Hawx previously stumbled.

      Customization is well-incorporated in building ships with personality, as well as tactical advantages. Class systems of fighter jets haven't been announced, but a variance in attack styles has -- such as precision ironsights, evasive maneuvers styles, and Jet Mode which allows users to quickly reach foes. The high-octane action is spread over colossal maps for an engulfing 360° warfare.

      The miraculous story behind Ragequit Corporation's title is in its production: over 15 months, 9 people's collided efforts created Strike Vector. According to its coinciding website, developers aimed for an old-fashioned feel, reminiscent of Crimson Skies and Unreal Tournament. Beta access can be gained by emailing [email protected] and should reach its active stage come January 2014.

      Despite two suicide missions and an untold number of worlds rescued, Mass Effect will soon be beckoning for your saving grace once more. According to the General Manager at Bioware's Edmonton and Montreal offices, Mass Effect 4 is already at a playable state. Above is the confirmed tweet from GM Aaron Flynn, although little about the game's look and premise has been divulged from the desks of Flynn's workers.

      On N7 Day (the five year anniversary from Mass Effect's genesis), photos containing screenshots of the upcoming game can be found around the artist's stations within Bioware Montreal. Most of what's visible are character designs and landscape shots, all of which look nearby their point of finalization. Besides this and the fourth installment's tour de force into completion, no official release date has been announced for Mass Effect 4. Little more news about Mass Effect is expected from Bioware until after Dragon Age: Inquisition ships, which is likely to be Fall 2014.

      As promised, December 13th was sanctioned by Valve to be the day they would ship out Steam Machines to 300 selected beta participants. Of those future testers, some have taken the opportunity to show-off the crate and guts within to the Internet community.

      Shown in the video below, now-owner of a Steam Machine, Corey Nelson, pieces through his cryptographed package to highlight each item that is enclosed. Seemingly, Corey is so gripped in the excitement of unboxing Valve's newest hardware, he doesn't bother to shed his shoes.

The inventory given to each recipient: 

Steam Machine

Beta Controller

Basic instruction manual

HDMI cable

USB cable

Power Cord

Wi-fi antennae

Recovery USB key

      There was a big BANG, and from it, a metropolis mutated. Destruction ensued recovery, giving birth to an over-heightened sense for looming disaster – alongside a single hope to recapture how everything had been before the atomic war. Rationalized fear caved into ideas of homeland defense, however not by issue of stockpiling nuclear weaponry. Instead, by harnessing the same annihilistic abilities within a controlled stash of lab subjects. This is 2019, in Neo-Tokyo. This is Katsuhiro Otomo’s comic masterpiece, Akira.

      Post-apocalyptic life is a road often traveled within the game industry. Fascination for this common ground doled out landmark series such as Fallout, Last of Us, and Half-Life, but has hardly left a scar on the Japanese landscape. With the addition of the newly released 25th Anniversary version of its coinciding anime, now’s a better time than any to re-probe the crater left by Akira.

      First attempts to take aim at Otomo’s gnarled world ended as exasperating teeth-grinders of Battletoads-esque difficulty. British studio ICE, in 1994, forged the most-analogous game iteration, however punished players with its frustrating design as it played like a broken, slug-paced Contra on wheels. Appearing on the Amiga/CD32, this title was panned as one of the worst titles available on the system.

      Timed with the comic’s release, there had been Taito Corporation’s Famicom game (also titled) Akira. This visual novel released six years early, although only reached a Japanese audience who left it with little positive impression. Pieced together in a “choose your own adventure” style, this game took precedence of the film’s still images over any sort of real-time action. Progression was made through dialogue options, altogether losing nearly everything that made the comic and film appealing to fans.

      Besides these failed attempts, Akira remains with little consolation: an estranged pinball simulator, Akira Psycho Ball. Despite staking claim in the film’s original animations, the void for a full-retail, action/adventure game still remains buoyant.

      The kid in me loves Knack. When I picked up my first controller, a good game only needed three things: pleasant graphics, sharp controls and, if possible, some wild monster/animal combat. All things considered, Nintendo had my standby line-up until Sony began treading on their territory. A tangible face could be tied to all of Sony’s early attempts to infiltrate this brand of child-oriented, simplified gameplay. That man is Mark Cerny.

      A true master of his craft, Cerny directed Knack without showcasing what cemented his career in the first place. Previously, Cerny dipped his paws in similar classic platform beat ‘em ups, like Crash Bandicoot, Spyro the Dragon, Jak and Daxter, and Ratchet & Clank – essentially every other game that plays like Knack should. Knack’s callback to the beloved titles of the 90s/early 2000s could have been its saving grace, yet it’s more like the blade that cut its Achilles heel.

What’s it like?

      Every second of the game is played as an on-rails fighter. It’s unabashedly linear, constraining the player with no say in Knack’s constantly shrinking and expanding size. Over half of my playthrough was about as fun as swaying on a seesaw; constantly balancing between closed-off rooms with bad guys to fight, followed by dull jumping puzzles. After a few hours, this all felt a little stale – trivial even – although, not game-breaking.

      Knack holds your hand a bit too much, and it becomes daunting when Knack isn’t all too likeable of a character to begin with. Voiced by some Ron Pearlman impersonator, Knack is essentially a walking KidKraft playset, yet of goblin origin. The pieces that embody him are relics from a past civilization, altogether scientifically constructed by a broad-chested, stubborn man blandly named the Doctor. Accompanying these two is the Doctor’s adventurer friend Ryder and his orphaned nephew (also the Doctor’s assistant) Lucas. Together, this gang of four is trying to push back the on-going offensive forces of a goblin uprising.

"Voiced by some Ron Pearlman impersonator, Knack is essentially a walking KidKraft playset, yet of goblin origin."

      Vicktor, a sly-faced robotics expert, and his swift, right-hand gal Katrina begin to aid Knack, but this alliance turns sour quickly. Naturally, Vicktor is more focused on world domination without much motive as to why, which regrettably takes focus of the story. By the start of the game’s third act, the threat of the goblin forces are forgotten and left unresolved while players are marooned with a muddle of uninteresting characters. That being said, Knack’s most notable bores are its cut scenes and dialogue. The predictability and hackney choice of words were uninspired throughout, at times even laughably so.  It became a chore sitting through so many “remember Knack, the mission is to get big” and “I hope there are more relics in there.” If I wasn’t attentive to the first half of the game, I would have likely skipped every scene.

How’s it look?

      Nothing truly original is within Knack’s goblin-addled world, yet it evokes a familiar childhood comfort while watching it. Cookie-cutter shapes personify Knack and this is similarly so for every other character. I eventually pegged the game as a Jimmy Neutron off-breed, considering its use of bright colors and doughy character appearances. The particle effects of Knack’s explosive death are its defining next-gen feature, yet nothing graphically awe-inspiring can be awarded beyond Knack’s overall mediocrity.

      Fortunately, each chapter produced a variety of combat environments – for example, Chapter 8 began on a rocky cliffside whereas Knack, in time, wandered into lusciously vegetated caves, which broke towards an underground log fortress and outwardly back onto the starting cliffside. All of these terrains amounted to roughly an hour of gameplay, beckoning interest over eyesore.

How’s it play?

      Piece by piece, Knack evolves from a midget to a monolith, much like the Beautiful Katamari series. Progression is staged between checkpoints broken apart by an average of three to five isolated rooms with meticulously placed enemies. This pattern of predictability determined the precise use of sunstone moves (frankly just a complete annihilation attack) during the most brutal segments. In spite of Knack’s growing size and health bar, he could typically withstand only one or two hits, making the smallest mistakes overly critical. However, the wherewithal of Knack’s unlimited lives reduced the challenge into a frustrating game of trial and error.

      Any time you tangoed with a boss, Knack followed the patented Super Mario three-part squabble. Despite predictability being engrained in Knack’s DNA, the boss battles became the most enigmatic combat sequences, succeeding as Megaman did in crafting difficult attack patterns that require multiple deaths and choreographed attempts towards victory. At times enraging, other times enthralling, my greatest feelings of accomplishment came from triumphing over bosses. The only problem being how few and far between they were. Knack is overloaded with too much filler to allow these large-scale fights to thwart the overall flatness of Knack’s central gameplay.

Final Verdict: C-

      Introducing the new game room mediators: Kinect 2.0 and Playstation Camera.

      As a form of soaping your mouth for using naughty words, voice commands have gone so far as recognizing and penalizing bad language during gameplay. Shown below, one fan of NBA 2K14 was reprimanded with a technical foul for his verbiage. A representative of 2K Sports acknowledged this as a manor of giving players a "more civilized gaming environment." In regards to which words would be penalized, the same representative claimed that only "the obvious ones are there."

      The apparent reasoning for this is a better sense of realism that censored voice commands can bring to gameplay. Same as a live basketball game, a referee can call a technical foul for excessive language towards another player, coach or ref. This new form of virtual unsportsmanlike conduct isn't unheard-of, however. In NBA 2K13, this same rule applied, although profanity detection wasn't integrated as solidly with previous console hardware.

      These puritan morals are being implemented into other games as well, including FIFA 14. A Reddit user by the name of RossBoomsocks was issued a decree by his club's board of directors urging he reduce his use of cuss words. Granted, there is always the option to disable the game's voice controls -- something any testy sports game player should consider.

Unknown Dispatch is a segment dedicated to rumorous news.

      Four years ago, it was, when that sinister bomb fell; that bomb being Fallout 3. It fated those who tried it to an endless slaughtering of radioactive monsters pre-set within a radioactive wasteland. Danger was ever-present, albeit accompanied by moments of blood-churning action, humor, and freakish horror. Its consensus was enormously positive (mustering a 93 on Metacritic) and sweeping multiple Game of the Year awards.

      Four years later, we are now seeing the preliminary signs of a potential part 4 to the series. Hosted from a mysterious teaser site, a cryptic message is stationed above the phrase: Nuclear winter has come. Below that is a countdown set to expire on December 11.

      Fallout fans have been eager to decode the ambiguous bulletin, inasmuch as some sub-Reddit board users unravelling a possible meaning: “THE INSTITUTE IS SEALED. THEY WON’T HELP US I’M HEADING TO BLACK ROW. -TBNLS 5120-”. The true deciphering of the text is currently uncertain, yet it's possible the timer winding down could initiate a teaser trailer release.

      Excitement was first fueled eleven months ago when Fallout 3 alumni Three Dog was given the greenlight to announce his reprisal. Bethesda scouts were also reported to be on location in Boston -- particularly near the Massachusetts Institute of Technology -- which could've potentially exposed the location of Fallout 4. Further news will hopefully come, as surely there are millions lusting to further traverse the wretched, nuclear tundra and all the limitless variety of escapades it brings.

      Sony and Microsoft have streamlined their way into millions of homes this November, but where does that leave Nintendo? Celebrating its first birthday last week, the Wii U hasn't managed to escape the press's label of still not being a must-own console. It's bush league to consider the Wii U an outsider when noting its advantages: 

Backwards Compatibility. The PS4 and Xbox One weren't able to do this in risk of breaking the architecture for their next-gen designs. Essentially, it'd be the same as building the PS3 inside of the PS4 (or vise versa with Xbox) just to emulate both system's games -- not to mention a likely $100-200 price hike.

Free online. It's $60 a year for Xbox Live or $50 for one year of Playstation Plus. Sure, there's a kickback of free games, but the option to pay for online features vs. not pay for online features feels pretty obvious.

Less cash out of pocket. I scrounged the interweb for the best-looking deal, and this is it. That bundle supplies you with the console, tablet controller, accessories and copies of New Super Mario Bros U and New Super Luigi U for a staggering $250. With the games retailing cumulatively at $90, it makes for a helluva catch.

      Average consumers aren't noticing the Wii U, hence it's deflating sales figures and dismissal from game-making colleagues. Tangibly, this puts the games on the pedestal to sell the system. Nintendo's studios are being left to the task of crafting masterpieces -- something not uncommon for them -- but consequentially daunting. One year has opened enough doors to develop a pallet of tasty titles, yet is there enough to warrant a new console purchase? Here's a few highlights of what Nintendo's got to show:

      Probably Nintendo's greatest asset, Super Mario 3D World world has captivated children and parents alike with its (yet again) inventive level design and charm. The key feature in Mario's newest iteration is the cat suit, enabling a sense of feline prowess to claw away at foes and latch onto walls and scale them. Awe-inspiring to some, a system savior to others; universally it seems Mario's 3D World deserves a place at the top of the list for must-own titles offered exclusively on the Wii U. To score an eye-full of gameplay, check this out.

      A Pikmin variant of sorts, The Wonderful 101 wields you with the strength of a deep cast of superheroes. Together they can "Unite Morph" into various objects of battle and take down the most insurmountable alien bad guys. The fun is in controlling over one-hundred characters from an isometric view, altogether tolling away at the remnants of outerspace evil (all while bathing in a Viewtiful Joe-inspired art style). To better understand the insanity that is Wonderful 101, click here.

      Being a re-vamped 2002 title, it's essentially the same game everyone bought for the Gamecube. Despite all of that, Wind Waker's graphics look crisper than ever all patched together by conventionalized item/map access and motion controls via gamepad. There's enough challenge and excitement to be (re)discovered within this 20ish-hour adventure that perhaps it may warrant a purchase. Sitting with a 90 on Metacritic, these minor tweaks to a certified classic could persuade for Wind Waker's second showing. 

System Recall: