* 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 !

     she did not expect julian to agree , not at all , though when he reached to take the cup from her hands she tensed up - ready instantly to argue . lips agape but to no avail when she recognized the look in his eyes . “ this will come back to bite you in the ass . “ blair huffs under her breath , green hues rolling to the back of her skull . “ my love , you were there .. all one hundred times i spoke with our realtor on the phone . and what did i say ? “ cupped face stares back at him , not even bothering to protest against his touch as it was the only thing keeping her from bursting into flames . “ french . arch . “ she lets out slowly . and while she did in fact put the ‘ demon ‘ in demontfort , blair recognized his words as true . would she say it out loud in front of him ? absolutely .. though , not right now . defeat was visible in the way she rolled her eyes , tongue swirling in her mouth . “ i guess the first apartment he showed us today had that french arch i want . “ blair sighs . “ but the closet was tiny , so you better figure it out because i’m done compromising for the month . “ eyebrows raise up . “ and don’t forget how many boxes i’m packing . “ a smile creeps on her face .

     it’s been a long day . the flight - delayed , her coffee - stone cold and her sanity ? on the edge .. heels click over the naked wooden floor of the next spacious apartment in the heart of manhattan as the sun was setting down over her dream destination , yet the frown on her face was deep and sending chills over the agent that has been dealing with her short temper the past few days . “ i hate the windows . “ she drags out , gaze set on the man that she swore was tired at this point and she takes another sip from the cold drink in her hands . inhaling sharply through her nose she turns so she can look the only man in existence , capable of tolerating and handling her worst - julian . “ i said i want a french arch and this is plain square . “ she shakes her head lightly , shocked before turning to the sweating realtor . “ i can sense from your body language that the closet will barely fit my shoes , let alone my boyfriend’s .. “ 

@hubrlstic​ 

      “ i’m pretty sure that’s what roommate means . “ eyebrows raise up and she chuckles , finding it charming he needed the extra reassurance . maybe they were rushing it , but blair was confident . they have seen the worst .. and he was attractive when angry . there was nothing really there that could scare her away and with their recently confessed adoration to one another , nothing was  setting the bright red alarms in her mind . “ come on now .. “ she lets out breathedly , pushing herself so she can sit up next to him and let her hand rest on his chest . monterey has deprived them from their need to fly , but the wings were still there .. “ i know i was yelling at you or whatever , “ she rolls her eyes , sighing , “ but you really seemed in your element that day on the field . and you said you are so good that you even got offers while in college and that wasn’t that long ago .. “ blair reminds softly , wanting to spark the same fire in him that he helped burst in her . “ you don’t know if you’ll fail . “ truth be told , she never expected to hear those words ever exit julian’s mouth but she can mock him for everything else , never his dreams . gentle hand moves up to cup his cheek , “ i’ve never seen you fail in anything . “ fingers tighten the grip over his face enough to push his cheeks together . “ so snap out of it ! “ she lowers herself to peck his squished lips under her grip before she releases his face . 

      a smile spreads on her features , warm and alluring , and all for the man . “ yeah .. “ she repeats , this time quieter like she was envisioning the picture . her , julian , stella and their apartment in manhattan that blair will most likely decorate herself , hence driving julian insane with her high expectations . eyebrow quirks up , eyes not moving an inch from his features . head bops down lightly while a little smirk plays on her pout , gaze finds his through her long lashes while she sends out a challenge . blair was familiar with his ability to survive .. even under water , and this alone was a reason for the femme to admire julian at times she hardly even tolerated him . “ yes , your dreams . “ blonde head nods , frowning momentarily when his hand repositions under his head . “ i mean .. you got your dream girl . “ shoulders buck up in a shrug when she quips , somehow managing to keep a straight face . “ so i think it’s time to go for your dream job . while the boss and aspiring choreographer in pr relationship fantasy was hot , you looked far more comfortable on the soccer field that one time than in the club . “ she muses . 

      she forcibly pulls corners of her lips downwards , not wanting to break character of the lead in her current melodramatic . gaze , however , glazed with playfulness and radiant warmth lets out what blair would surely let out loud sooner or later again . “ stop it ! “ eyes squeeze shut and a smile graces tired features while actions contradicts the request and she leans against the touch . his words make a curious gaze find it’s way to his features and send her deep in thought . the signs were right there in front of her and she feels almost foolish not recognizing them earlier , he was just as much in a rot as she was . something new clicks in her , his question instantly making her look up at him as now his confession burned over her mind . “ yeah .. “ confident in the little word , she even nods . “ just , as long as you’re sure you’d find that ‘ play ‘ button to your life and won’t wake up one day hating me for that decision . “ lips pout in thought as even more fear downs on her when she said the words . getting accustomed to the new position , she makes herself comfortable on his chest . “ and when will you start chasing after your dreams ? “ eyebrows raise up , done with talking about her turmoils . head jerks up to julian , hand drawing lazy patterns over his torso 

      all these years , blair selfishly believed she never needed saving . having gone through troubles and tribulations on her own , she trusted only herself with her crippling fears . and there he comes , the man she least expected , allowing her to be weak for him and making her weak all at once . but she did not want to put up a fight . instead , eyes close and she allows herself to take in his scent and ravish in it for a second . in a short amount of time , julian managed to do the unthinkable . “ no .. “ denies in a half-whisper , instinctively shielding away from the only person who handed her comfort . “ this is just so new . “ hands meet in her lap and fingertips start picking on one another as she tried her best to gather the words to contradict her initial response . “ i won’t even be able to come back as frequently and you have the club , i can’t expect you to jump on my every whim and catch a flight whenever i’m free . “ gaze fixates solely on dainty fingers now as she let the cloud of fear spread through the huge room . “ and it would be cruel of me to ask you to wait or ditch your whole life and follow me . and also my family needs me here , so .. “ she shrugs , “ i’m just .. trying to figure it all out . “ with a groan , head presses further into his chest , moving so her face can sink into the material of his shirt , wanting to hide from him , herself and her stupid fears alike . 

      who knew five little words were able to make blair’s stomach flutter with happiness . this was both a blessing and a curse , especially in the mess of a mud she had found herself in . julliard was her dream , new york was her dream .. but so was what she had with the man . sure , it was never julian that she envisioned experiencing this new and foreign feeling but he was providing rather handsome personification of what she thought was impossible to have in a place like monterey . “ sure , yeah .. “ she agrees , though the words were hollow . blair was supposed to be happy , to be soaring to the ceiling with happiness even , yet she was low on the ground – accepting the shelter julian offered . snuggling into his chest , she sucks her lips in . clearly , he couldn’t see the problem , or rather did not acknowledge it as one and that alone made her question her own reaction to everything . “ well .. i mean , i haven’t danced competitively for so long . i have barely practiced my acrobatics all this time .. “ head shakes , messing up the top of her head as she was comfortably laying it over his shirt . “ atop of all that , if i agree , i’ll have to move to new york which .. “ she sighs , ‘ is great ‘ , ‘ is my dream ‘ , ‘ is what i’ve been working for my whole life ‘ “ .. is an 8 hour flight with one stop away , if you’re flying united . “ head jerks up , searching his face while she anticipated a reaction . 

     catching his innuendo flawlessly her brows raise up slightly while lips part in a perfect circle , “ oh ! “ blonde exclaims , “ there’s no way i’m posting a review on that magic of yours . “ grin spreads lewdly over features . “ i’m not willing to share . if anyone asks , the territory’s already marked . “ gaze flickers from gaze to lips and she has a hard time deciding which she fell to adore more . they were still the same - julian and blair , pros at their game and it is proven to her once again when his grip finds the soft skin of her face to lock their lips . and although touching him excited her as if what they had was still a secret , there’s no denying she can get used to being loved properly . she could , and she wanted to .. precisely why sight sinks low to the ground and her hand finds the back of her head to scratch the skin that was not even itching . one way or another , word would spread and last thing she wanted was for him to find out from a source that’s not her . “ i – well .. “ she stumbles over words , head moving so she can find his hues . rip it out , like a band-aid . “ i got accepted into julliard . “ she lets out , swallowing down the lumb that had formed from having these words stuck on the back of her throat . blair takes a deep breath and bucks her shoulders up , “ and i don’t know what to do .. “ she lets out alongside her breath , fear evident in her words and eyes – as for once , she stands choosing between two things near and dear to her heart . 

         nose scrunches up at his comment , cheeks turning red . while julian could be the last person to give her constructive criticism on her dancing , as her technical errors were probably non-detectable to him , it did feel good to know she was not too shabby in his eyes . her teeth find her lower lip while watching him chew up and swallow down the end of his sentence . “ well , i’m glad you’re here because .. “ shoulder bucks up , action masked as nonchalant while hand allows him to adjust it to his liking , before her thumb finds his skin and brushes over it tenderly . “ .. you know . “ while the words stayed lingering between them , it truly warmed her up to know they’re there . it was almost surreal to think that they’ve come so far from where their starting point actually laid and while blair was certain she had sworn off love forever , julian provided a twist to the previously off-putting flavor that the blonde couldn’t possibly get enough of . he was standing there in a completely foreign light that the demontfort could not deny her love for , the thought alone tearing her up even further as julliard meant potentially dimming it . “ is that so ? “ the sudden glimpse of sorrow is replaced by one of playfulness , deciding that she can spin her mind into overdrive later on . “ i would love to take advantage of your skills then , my love . “ she nods , “ might even give you a rating on yelp if you’re as good as you claim to be . “ eyebrows raise up , torso leaning closer to him when she chuckles , teasing him . 

     his voice alone captures her whole attention and makes her head snap in julian’s direction . unable to control it , a small smile breaks through her sweaty face . not expecting him there was understandable , yet the confused look in her eyes was caused by her inability to understand why he decided to visit . “ yeah .. “ lies quickly , though a sigh follows shortly after and her arm moves away from her face . it was easy to cover your tracks with little lies until the final destination is finally clear , but this was julian .. and while what they had was fresh and brand new , she still felt that little kick in her stomach that prompted her to be transparent with him . “ actually , no . “ shaking her head , she turns to her side , elbow tucked under her weight so she can rest her head on her shoulder . emeralds take in the man while he made himself comfortable on the wooden floor . “ my whole body hurts and i feel almost ancient . “ groaning , other hand moves to brush over her face . “ what are you doing here ? .. wanted to get a private class or something ? “ blonde quips , manicured hand squeezes in a fist and moves to offer the male a little nudge . 

        one , two , three .. she counts under her breath . sweat visible along her hairline as blair spins her body in a pirouette once then twice and with a shaky breath , she jumps off her starter leg in a front aerial but right before she could continue , her exhausted body , from the hours spent in the studio , falls on it’s knees and blair lets out a loud groan . ignoring the burning pain in her joints , she falls to her back , long legs lifted up so she can kick the air in pure frustration . “ idiot ! “ she screams to herself , not even noticing the intruder in the room , the music from the speakers helping with the illusion she was alone in the room . with everything going on , it was only dancing that could get her mind off the turmoil in her body , but coming back to the place she called home for many years only seemed to prove her she was a failure . with fury in her system and drive in her veins she jumps on her feet even faster than she fell down , soaring her body on a one-hand front aerial before handsrping-ing to the other end of the room , making it look it’s as easy as breathing . and to an extended and to blair , it was – it’s what she knew her whole life . gymnastics then dancing , it was like a second nature to the blonde . however , the abuse over her body finally takes hold and hands fall to grab her own knees , slouching and panting she couldn’t catch her breath . the months away from the craft did not affect her skills but it definitely took a toll on her stamina . though , despite the screaming pain in her muscles and joints , a broken grin appears on her face . she proves herself she still got it , despite failing and falling – she still did it . and maybe , just maybe she could still have a chance when it came to feelings .. when it came to julian .. and julliard . the remembering of the email she got that morning made her once again shaking legs loose the balance they so gracefully gathered and let her body fall on it’s back . not even recognizing the pain anymore , she only closes her eyes , arm moves to shield her face from the fluorescent lights beaming over her from the ceiling . “ teach those vermins hip-hop blair , the choreo will look good in the club . come on , why practice acro when you get paid for modern ? stupid , stupid , stupid ! “ keeps murmuring to herself . 

          curiosity sparked in her system . “ and you ? “ eyes search for his . if he didn’t want to answer , that was totally okay with her , but truth be told - she wanted to know . to say she was already planning a future with him was far fetched but it didn’t hurt to know that maybe if things worked out , maybe he turns out to be the one that all rom-coms seem to mention – he’d be ready to pack his bags and travel the world with her . “ and you realize it now ? “ she inquires playfully , “ dramatics run genetically in my family . when my first tooth fell out , my dad threw a whole ball about it . “ it was an amazing pr ploy , shedding a light of warmth and togetherness over the demontfort’s . and it would be nice to think the crazy event was thrown because they actually loved their daughter so much , but sadly – it was far from the truth . a little scream escapes when he changes his position all of a sudden , hands moving to intertwine behind his neck for balance . smirking , she allows him to grace her jaw with his lips . once again finding herself dancing a choreography her and julian came up with – their own love language . the compliments were like honey to her blown-out-of-proportion ego . and while she was aware of the things he sweetly whispered to her , coming from him – they made her feel almost god-like . manicured digits find the scalp of his head , tugging on some messy strands of hair while grin shines on her features . “ you really know how to make a girl weak in the knees . “ she purrs out , darkened greens respond to the eye contact with a mischievous glimmer . hands move from his back to his chest , pushing him gently down and positioning herself to hover over him . “ but when have i ever followed the rules ? “ speech was low , seductive . julian knew perfectly well where her buttons were hidden and exactly in what combination to push them . “ i mean come on , “ she lowers herself so her lips can find his neck . “ i got into a fake pr relationship with a guy i barely know , then fucked around and fell in love with his family’s enemy . “ words vibrate over his skin , loving the dominating position she had . “ i even let you poke fun of my favorite jumper , damn .. “ she chuckles , head moving to finally face him . “ and you were sweet enough to move to thai away from the bed . “ eyebrows raise up . “ i think you deserve to be caught naked in my bedroom . “ nods , while eyes flicker from his lips to his eyes . 

          a dry chuckle falls from her lips . has she ever ? her biggest dream was to travel the world with her a team . the only kids she ever recognized as siblings , despite being handed two biological ones . “ almost every day . “ she splurts out before she even has the possibility of rethinking another answer . truth be told , she already had a real-estate agent on the call in manhattan – all she had to do was gather the courage and make the call . the pinterest boards on her phone were all archived , but they all had the same theme to it — they did not envisioned her life in monterey . and despite her having over thirty titles under her belt and it would take a video and an interview to be accepted to any dance company , she still lacked the spine . her daydream was cut short , a death stare now over his features as her hand moves to actually push his face away . annoyed , “ it was a test ! “ she protests , unable to admit she did in fact insinuate it first . “ all i know is that i couldn’t stand you .. we might be dealing with stockholm syndrome here , my love . “ in all honesty , she could not recall the day she felt that slight spark for the very first time , and the possibility of her falling first was unexpectedly high . but even if it was true , there was no way she would go down without a fight . finding herself genuinely startled , eyebrows go high on her eyebrows . “ are you rejecting me ? “ she shrieks , perfectly shaped items now low on the bridge of her nose . and while she allows him to move her over himself , offering him no resistance , she is quick to fold her arms over her chest . rejection was even more foreign to the heiress , especially when it came from julian . the remark on her attire didn’t help as well , feeling now what shined bright and beautiful for julian and julian only — sheer annoyance and irritation . “ oh , fuck off . “she growls , pushing his hands away from her beloved jumper . it’s been with her through thick and thin . though , she could not hide away the little chuckle that follows . some girls had silky pj’s and while blair had probably too many of those herself , she somehow found the oversized sweatshirt with her old dance company logo on it way more comfortable . “ going camping … “ she repeats mockingly and rolls her eyes .

          “ shut up . “ vibrates onto his lips , while still pressed on each other . who would’ve knew ? definitely not blair . and while the surprise was pleasant and she gladly rendered herself oblivious when it came to the hundreds of questions that popped in her head – they were still there . tugging on her mind and begging her to think them over . eyes meet his right as she feels the touch on her back , making her eyelids heavier and hues darker . annoying voices – discarded . finally , some familiarity in this foreign situation . and while emotionally , they still had plenty to explore -their bodies spoke the same language .. fluently at that . hands move to intertwine behind his neck while they switched positions . “ ah , you’re being cute and all .. but you won’t find it as funny when you find your club burned down . “ she quips . eyes widen in feigned shock , one hand even moves to hover over her mouth . “ admitting a flaw ? .. my goodness , julian , you really do know how to make me swoon . “ she purrs out , same manicured hand now moving to wave some air to her face in her overly dramatic antics , until she’s stopped when his lips once again met her . smile pulling the corners of her lips upwards . “ i know , my love . “ she says softly . the newly found fondness of the male was certainly both unexpected and anticipated . a oxymoron to say the least . but she wouldn’t let it ruin their dynamic . after all , it was what draw blair to him . – the fact that he was indeed her equal in both intelligence and lack of mentioned . that , and their absolutely ridiculous banter at the most inappropriate of times . “ i really do love the fact that you cracked first . “ finger moves to bop the tip of his nose playfully . lips purse in a pout before she moves her elbows to support her torso , elevating herself upwards , closer to him . “ you can be greatly rewarded .. “ she breathes out , hues moving to his lips . “ who knows maybe that was my ploy to get you in bed . “ with a little smirk and humour in her eyes , emeralds again find his brown hues . teeth grind over her lower lip . sure , finally being adults was growth and all but you can always leave it to blair to ruin a wholesome moment . and while she was clearly joking about her confession being an elaborate scam , the mentioned reward was indeed on the table . 

       with two absolute heartaches and one social circus under her belt , blair was sure she knew how to protect herself and her emotions . she was sure she had the sources needed to detect the possible feelings and eliminate them before she dives too deep . but now , that her lower lip is trapped by her teeth , nibbling on it nervously as she waited for him to do something .  she once again proved she was not capable of following the rules . not even the ones established by herself . her patience is rewarded generously when he takes the steps needed to reach the edge of the bed . a breath she had been holding ever since she heard him say those words was finally let out . relief , that it wasn’t just her mind playing tricks on her . eyes follow him carefully and her lips curl into a smile – obeying quietly without unnecessary hassle , probably for the very first time , she is back on her knees . emeralds now perfectly aligned with the most beautiful shade of brown , by her standards , and she only dares herself to move her attention to his lips to see him say it as well . something that would usually have her running away , with five excuses under her arm and counting was now making her heart flutter . nodding , she slides closer to the man , hands finding his shoulders . “ i’m in love with you too . “ a secret for a secret . but this time she didn’t mind him outing this one . leaning in close , blair presses her lips onto his in a kiss she never imagined was possible with julian . the butterflies she thought were long gone appeared once more and she could swear he tasted different now . “ this better not be a ruse or i swear i’ll build a parking lot over every soccer field in town . “ she drags out , still high on him , once lips stop inspecting his . 

          she doesn’t even acknowledge the little quip out of his mouth , just kept getting closer and closer . she could feel the heat in her cheeks and just as she was willing to press her lips onto his , the little words traveled to her and her eyes stay frozen on his own hue of brown , widened . she blinks a couple times , not exactly sure if what she heard as in fact it . her face melts down in sudden shock , finding herself gobsmacked and his quick departure from her and the bed only proves she did in fact heard him right . she waited for a second more so the fear can kick in . for her inability to accept the confession too , but it never came , instead her cheeks blush deeply and she stands up on the bed . “ say that again ! “ she requests in a high tone , no fear nor hesitation visible in her voice . finally the question mark was erased from the box and now she was staring at the man she could safely say she was head over heels for . the man that once again proved himself superior by saying out loud the one thing that lingered between them first . “ no .. no , “ spoken softly she even takes a step in his direction , still on the bed as she was afraid she can actually scare him out of the room if she dares go down on the floor . “ no apologies .. just repeat it . “ a smile threatens to stretch the corners of her lips upwards and her own palm moves up to hide the fact . she patiently waited for julian to come to terms with his own little confession , the one she didn’t even knew she wanted to hear until this very moment . 

          her smile crooks down when he involved his parents in the conversation . the alvarez-montgomery had such a lovely dynamic , so much love radiating from the men . it was obvious they loved each other . and while the blonde would never dare to say it out loud , at least not yet – she envied the example julian  had at home . it must’ve felt nice to be loved and to see how two people should properly love each other . instead of that , all blair knew was how to lie , mend the truth so it can serve a purpose and push people away . “ yeah .. “ she is only able to drag out , only now realising she was too deep in thought and firing julian a stretched fabricated smile that was only able to last a couple seconds on her face . “ that’s nice of you to admit . thank you ! “ she flashed her pearly whites in a teasing grin . eyes follow every little movement of his face , curious to see his reaction . eyebrows raise up as he moves to discard the food , touched by the fact that he remembered her little request . and while feeling his hand traveling up her leg did not help the fastened beating of her heart she shakes her head . swallowing what felt like lump in her throat , she gets up to position herself on her knees before him . “ not like that , my love . “ she says softly , hands offered for him to take so he can position himself like her . “ kiss me like you’re in love . “ eyes pierce his . “ like we’re in the ninth grade and you’ve had the biggest crush on me for the longest time . “ thumb glides over the skin on the back of his hand before she moves it to caress his cheek and lean further . “ just .. pretend for a second . “ it felt like an experiment , testing her own limits to see if she could finally put a label on what she’s been feeling for the longest time . the question mark plastered on that little box in the back of her head kept bothering her and she needed an answer . she did want him , however .. very much , but having him the way both of them were used to at this point couldn’t help with blair’s need to figure out what was hiding underneath the layers of self-deception .